This is the statement of purpose for my application to DAE. (Statement describing your motivation and expectations concerning the programme and your studies at Design Academy Eindhoven, including your professional expectations after completing your study.)
I am looking for advice on how to make it sharper. I would also like to know if this describes my motivation and intent clearly. Any other advice is also welcomed.
studying design in Netherlands
I grew up in a middle-class family in a small town in India, where a high academic performance was expected to be one's biggest priority. Yet, I found myself leaning towards art, especially, painting and dance. The initial success in regional competitions made me realize that creative arts could be more than just a hobby for me and encouraged me to think of a career in Design.
In the foundation year at the National Institute of Design, Ahmedabad, India, I faced a dilemma while choosing between textile, exhibition and graphic design for a specialization. Instinctively, I took up Exhibition Design for its versatile nature that allowed me to weave together different disciplines. It also provided opportunities to leverage my other interests like dance and performance arts. This reflected in my final semester project in which I studied and reinterpreted how dance affects an individual on a physical, psychological and therapeutic level. The experience of doing this project and the positive feedback received, helped me to see the prospect of conceptual spaces as an area where I could distinguish myself as a spatial designer.
During my professional experience, I have worked with multi-disciplinary firms on a wide range of projects, from thematic installations, exhibitions and decor styling to projects like way-finding systems and communication collaterals. After graduating from NID, I joined one of the leading design studios in India -Trapeze, where I learned the finer nuances of storytelling, materials, and production processes, and also the importance of precision and detailing. One of the installations I worked on, 'Plate Up', received the prestigious Kyoorius Design Award for space in 2014. At Wari Watai, I got to work closely with professionals of varied expertise that instilled a cross-disciplinary approach to my work. Furthermore, managing large-scale exhibition projects have increased my competence in reinterpreting trend forecasts for interior spaces, curatorial work, project management and logistics.
Over the years, I have consciously pushed myself to explore different mediums when it comes to design like furniture, print-making, materials, and architecture. I am fascinated with traditional creative processes and enjoy working with my hands. In that sense, I am constantly looking to experiment with new ideas to broaden my design vocabulary.
Having acquired some of these skills, i aspire to further expand my understanding of design to be able to conquer new frontiers. I want to apply for Masters in Contextual Design at the Design Academy Eindhoven because of the very essence of the course that will help me develop a thought process and an ability to respond to a problem with a coherent and appropriate solution within a larger framework. It will allow me to make use of the creative freedom to find my own unique voice and refine my conceptual and cognitive skills for shaping new and innovative ideas for the future. Moreover, the experimental learning environment would lead to further exploration of materials and processes. And lastly, studying design in Netherlands would give me an unparalleled opportunity to learn from its social and visual culture.
I also excited at the opportunity to contribute to the experience of my classmates by drawing on five years of professional experience, and equally excited to learn from theirs. Additionally, coming from a different country and culture, I will provide a diverse perspective to the assignments and discussions.
I firmly believe that DAE would provide a challenging and inspiring environment that would push me to realize my true potential. And also assist in developing the skills and confidence to work on culturally relevant topics.
I look forward to hearing from you.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Priyanka, why do you speak of your professional experience in past tense? Are you currently unemployed? If you are unemployed at the moment, then you have to explain how that factors into the motivation that you have to gain information from higher studies. If it was a mistake and you are still connected to that company, then you have to change the text to reflect that you are currently employed there.
Your motivations and reasons for higher study is clear in the essay. However, your current opening statement is not applicable to this essay. It seems that you based the writing of your current work on the KGSP essay samples here, which are a totally different form of motivational writing than the others. The KGSP is specialized for their application so when you followed that sample for this essay, you neglected to take into consideration the requirements that the instructions for this essay gave you.
The missing element from your essay is the reference to your "professional expectations after completing your study". This means that you have to present at least a paragraph long short term (5 year) career goal or at least, a 6 month plan for the development of your career post study. The reviewer needs to know that you have a plan of action for your career upon completion of your degree.
You should remove the contribution that you will be making to the university and the reason why you chose to study in the Netherlands. That is a KGSP requirement that is not necessary in this essay. It is not necessary because what is required in this essay is an explanation of why you chose to study at DAE (expectations concerning the programme and your studies at Design Academy Eindhoven). The requirement presented needs to show that you are familiar with the programs, training facilities, internship, or mentor programs of the university. It cannot be a general reference as you have done so in this essay.
