Hello :)
I am frenchman applying for masters in computing within the UK. I have to write a personal statement as a support for my applications. Please find it below and please be as tough as possible :) I don't have specific instructions.
Thanks very much for your help !
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I discovered computers at school at the age of 12. Absolutely fascinated, I immediately wanted to know what was behind the screen. Being a good user wasn't enough for me I wanted to know how to be able to fix the computer myself. I then discovered programming which I find extremely enriching and fulfilling. I've started teaching myself the C language as a hobby at the age of 15, after few months I was able to program a Sokoban.
Desirous of raising my hobby to a professional level, I started my Bachelor of Computer Science in September 2007 at the University of Vincennes-Saint-Denis Paris VIII . I was selected from amongst my peers to participate to the Erasmus programme and spend the final year of my studies at the Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona. There I had to adapt to a different way of assessing and also to learn Spanish and Catalan, languages in which the courses were taught. I flourished in this challenging experience, often achieving higher grades than my classmates.
I decided to come to London in September 2010 for three reasons: get experienced in the work place, improve my English and face a new challenge. I wanted to prove to myself I could succeed in country I didn't know. I got a position as an Integrations Developer in a Canary Wharf based company. My work consists of building a link between my company's system and a remote client. I'm in charge of the whole French market; my reliability, my efficiency and my rapidity of execution makes me a key member of the team. My role has been extended and I am now supervising and training a developer. The role mainly involves programming and excellent communication skills. I analyze the clients' requirements, plan the development and coordinate my activity with remote developers. My work has been recognised and rewarded with a 15% pay raise.
I am now feeling the need to get to the next level and I think the [MASTER] is the key for achieving it. I have new goals : to become an expert in software architecture. While taking the degree course I became interested in Multithreading and Distributed architecture courses. We had to program a public bicycle hire simulation and I found this extremely interesting. My feeling was that I was discovering a new dimension of Computing. I have a new growing interest in swarm intelligence and I'm currently programming an ant foraging simulation as a hobby. This Masters will provide me with an essential knowledge in Distributed and Parallel systems and in the design of complex architectures. The training gained through practical programming will develop my project skills and enable me to undertake substantive projects.
I believe both my professional and academic experiences make an ideal candidate for your program .
Computing is a demanding activity that requires many skills. I practised various martial arts, Savate, Kickboxing and Brazilian Jujistu, from which I acquired discipline, resilience and an increased capacity to tackle down problems. I believe that Martial Arts and Computer Science are very similar, they both teach techniques an theories that are used to help solve problems, yet they both require an analytical mind and creativity.
Really solid essay so far, just a few adjustments to certain sentences:
"I am now feeling the need to get to the next level and I think the [MASTER] is the key for achieving it." -> "I find myself ready for the next challenge from which to advance my career and I believe a Masters is the key to fulfilling my goals"
"I believe both my professional and academic experiences make me an ideal candidate for your program ."
Your intro paragraph really grabbed my attention, and I think it's important to describe that this has been a lifelong passion for you. I just rearranged and reworded a few things to make it into more of a story: since it is the story of the beginning of your career!
"I was 12 when I first discovered computers . Absolutely fascinated, I immediately wanted to know what was behind the screen. Being a good user wasn't enough for me, and I had an urge to learn how they worked and be able to fix a computer on my own. It was from this desire that I came to discover the enriching and fulfilling world of programming. By this time I was 15 and had started to teach myself the C language as a hobby, and within a few months I had programmed a Sokoban."
I would go back and work on your closing paragraph though. I like the idea of incorporating your interests into the essay, but I feel like you would have a stronger conclusion if you went back and reworked it to talk about what you want to do and accomplish with the degree.
Good Luck!!! I hope this helped you!
Thanks Tiffany !
That's a very good comment! I'm going to rewrite it taking into account your suggestions.
Thanks again
This is my second draft . Please have a look and advise :)
Thanks for your help
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I was 12 when I first discovered computers. Absolutely fascinated, I immediately wanted to know what was behind the screen. Being a good user wasn't enough for me I wanted to know how to be able to fix the computer myself. I then discovered programming which I find extremely enriching and fulfilling. By this time I was 15 and had started to teach myself the C language as a hobby, and within a few months I had programmed a Sokoban.
Desirous of raising my hobby to a professional level, I started my Bachelor of Computer Science in September 2007 at the University of Vincennes-Saint-Denis Paris VIII . I was selected from amongst my peers to participate to the Erasmus programme and spend the final year of my studies at the Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona. There I had to adapt to a different way of assessing and also to learn Spanish and Catalan, languages in which the courses were taught. I flourished in this challenging experience, often achieving higher grades than my classmates.
I decided to come to London in September 2010 for three reasons: get experienced in the work place, improve my English and face a new challenge. I wanted to prove to myself I could succeed in country I didn't know. I got a position as an Integrations Developer in a Canary Wharf based company. My work consists of building a link between my company's system and a remote client. I'm in charge of the whole French market; my reliability, my efficiency and my rapidity of execution makes me a key member of the team. My role has been extended and I am now supervising and training a developer. The role mainly involves programming and excellent communication skills. I analyze the clients' requirements, plan the development and coordinate my activity with remote developers. My work has been recognised and rewarded with a 15% pay raise.
I find myself ready for the next challenge from which to advance my career and I believe a Masters is the key to fulfilling my goals. I have a new goal : to become an expert in software architecture. While taking the degree course I became interested in Multithreading and Distributed architecture courses. We had to program a public bicycle hire simulation and I found this extremely interesting. My feeling was that I was discovering a new dimension of Computing. I have a new growing interest in swarm intelligence and I'm currently programming an ant foraging simulation as a hobby. This Masters will provide me with an essential knowledge in Distributed and Parallel systems and in the design of complex architectures. The training gained through practical programming will develop my project skills and enable me to undertake substantive projects.
I believe both my professional and academic experiences make me an ideal candidate for your program .
My long term goal is to start an IT Consulting Company in specialized in Distributed and Parallel Systems a field in which I think there is a lot of opportunities.
