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Eager to learn more - GKS Personal Statement


dpatld 1 / -  
Mar 6, 2022   #1
Hi! I need feedback regarding my GKS Personal Statement Essay! Thank you~

GKS Personal Statement



Before high school, I was a shy kid, someone who doesn't want to be in the spotlight, however it all changed after a seminar was held during my elementary school days. I could still clearly remember what the speaker said, "in high school, you need to get out of your comfort zone, make friends and enjoy your youth." which has been engraved in my head ever since. During my 10th grade, which is the last year of junior high school in The Philippines, I became the president of the science and robotics club and participated in a sumo-bot competition, which I placed in the top 16th out of 64 participants. It just shows that I am open to new things despite it is not the path I am going to go through. The most important thing that I learned that time was to listen to your peers as well. On my senior high school days, which are 11th and 12th grade, I became the president of my class as well as the president of my strand which is Accountancy, Business, and Management. Since the additional 2 years in high school is newly implemented, we laid the foundation of the organization from scratch. Through that, I was able to build more connections, have a good time and create new memories. We hosted a lot of fundraising activities, contributed to the school's events, be it in planning or labor. I wouldn't have done it without my peers and my advisor at the time, who constantly cheered for me and acted as my 2nd mother. She has helped me both physically and emotionally, without her, managing the organization and my studies would be much harder. She constantly asks me and my classmates if we are doing alright, if there's something we need help in or problems regarding our subjects. If there was, she would automatically ask the full details and raise the concerns to the persons-in-charge. In addition, she has imparted us her wisdom, on how she would approach things and told us how it is supposed to be handled. All the things I have learned through my high school years have helped me during my undergraduate studies as I was able to lead people more effectively during activities, and that is why I chose Business Administration Major in Financial Management as my undergraduate program.

On my first year of undergraduate, we had a course which is National Service Training Program where we gave back to the citizens. We taught basic English, and Math to less fortunate students from public schools. Moreover, we gave food and things that are essential to the school which they could use to improve the quality of the school life of the students. During the volunteer, I was able to get close to the kids and ask about their situation, and how they are doing. I was able to talk to their parents, I learned how to be sensitive enough when talking to people who are different from me. During my second year of college, we had a course which is International Business and Trade which talked about the cross-border commerce between companies and governments. I saw how it is important for a country to export its goods across borders as it will increase the economic development of the country, it made me become interested in studying International Business and it is reflected on my transcript which I got the highest grade possible. On that same year, I attended a seminar held by Bank of the Philippine Islands, which is the oldest bank in the country and in Southeast Asia, in De La Salle University which gave us insights and knowledges on topics like assets, liabilities, risk management and financial themes of treasury in the age of digital transformation and disruption which helped me a lot because all the things I learned that time were only from general courses, not much majors.

Soon enough, the COVID-19 pandemic happened, all things shifted online much faster than we expected, and the things I have learned from the seminar helped me and my family in micromanaging our expenses. Despite the challenges arose, problem with finances, emotional health, I managed to be a dean's lister on my 1st and 2nd semester, and an annual honor roll during my 3rd year. During the 2nd semester of my 3rd year, and 1st semester of my 4th year, we started doing our degree thesis. I was chosen by my groupmates to be the leader and I didn't let them down. I equally assigned parts, instructed the group on how we would proceed, and coordinated with people. Once the parts were done, me and a groupmate helped me fact check and proofread our group's works. If it wasn't for her, it would be harder for me to manage the group, given that there are other courses to study as well. We finished the thesis by the end of 2021 with minimal revisions from the panelists. We wouldn't have done that without the help of our thesis advisor who continuously guided us as we proceeded with our work. She didn't change anything, instead, determined the ways to better the research we have undertaken. I learned that as a leader, we don't need to change their whole output, we just need to guide our subordinates in achieving the best output.

I am currently on my last semester of my college, and I am doing an internship at an accounting and finance outsourcing company which provides services to clients domestically and internationally. During my first week, I was dumbfounded because of the training and the work that was given to me. It made me doubt my knowledge, but I persevered, I didn't let it get to me. Instead, I sought help from my friends, and my supervisor who are always willing to assist me in any way he can. I learned from him the practical application of the knowledges I gained when I was on my early undergraduate years, it was much easier, thus I had a good time. Moreover, the company let me handle management tasks such as creating, updating, and proofreading contracts for clients, doing payroll, and filing of taxes. Although my major is slightly different from the internship position I applied for, since I am a management student. Nevertheless, I believe that to be a good manager in the future, one should know and practice basic accounting as it is helpful in determining the financial health of the business, and in making business decisions.

I got to appreciate my program more because of a South Korean movie titled Default which took me to the year 1997, 2 years before I was born when the Asian Financial Crisis took place where it affected East Asian and Southeast Asian countries. The movie aroused my interest to read more regarding the financial crisis, on how it affected South Korea, and my country. To defend South Korea's currency, the country sought assistance from the International Monetary Fund to get a loan and it was repaid 3 years ahead of the schedule. It tucked my heart with how the citizens helped in overcoming the financial crisis. Since then, I have been watching documentaries and movies about the country's rich history and culture. To get to know more about South Korea, I started studying the Korean language on my own. To put into use the language I am learning, I downloaded a language exchange app where I met Korean friends, whom I became friends with for almost two years now. We helped each other in correcting our sentences in Korean, English or Filipino. I learned much more about Korea as we kept on exchanging photos of our daily lives such as food pictures, places in Korea like self-checkout convenience stores and of course, the snow. We also exchange voice messages or call to talk about something. Talking with them somehow felt as if I was integrated into the Korean society because every day, I learn more something new about the culture and it made me want to be part of it. I learned how to be sensitive because the culture is different, more importantly, the language barrier. I have always liked the concept of using formal and casual language because in my country, we also have it too, but it's toned down unlike in Korea.

I have always thought of getting a master's degree, but I didn't know it would be this too soon. Studying in South Korea would help me build more connections as there are many foreigners studying and living in the country, it is globally connected than the universities here in my country, it is aligned with my interests, and especially because of the Korean Wave where there are many business opportunities. In addition, the country has employed business leaders such as Bom Kim, who is the CEO and the founder of the fastest growing Korean e-commerce start-up which is Coupang. Although it might be hard at first to cope up with the society at first, with all the things I have learned from my high school up to undergraduate years, would help me survive in South Korea as I have learned to adjust, to be sensitive as people have different opinions about something and strive for the thing I really want.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Mar 6, 2022   #2
Sadly, the given personal statement does not meet the masters degree requirements for the application. This type of statement does not even meet the complete requirements for the undergraduate scholarship application. I believe that the writer has not taken the time to review the actual discussion requirements as indicated in the application packet. The packet is available online and will be tremendously useful in the creation of a totally new personal statement. Kindly review the masters course personal statement presentation requirements, then write a new essay. One that is more aligned with the requirements of the review committee. Reviewing the requirements will also help the applicant assess if now will be the right time for him to apply for the scholarship since he has yet to graduate from his current major. This makes him a weak candidate and one of the less considerable applicants since he has not experienced enough professionally or within an internship setting, to pass the first round of considerations yet.


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