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"Education is a progressive discovery of one's ignorance";Mechanical Eng(Masters) S


devaraj 2 / 5  
Mar 3, 2013   #1
Hello guyz My name is Devaraj and am looking forward to joining a masters program in mechanical .Am required to write a statement of purpose and this is what I came up with.Please review it and tell me what needs to be changed.Note English is not my first language. Thank you.

"Education is a progressive discovery of one's ignorance"
For me, learning has always been aimed at construing the underlying facts of every statement. And, whenever I learn a new concept, it is my tendency to explore the in depths of it. My passion for modeling and designing in mechanical, which I have developed in my undergraduate studies, by thorough understanding of the subjects, motivates me to pursue my Masters. Manufacturing and Design revolution has stormed the world in the last decade and it will continue to change billions of lives. The scope for development and opportunities are seemingly interminable in this field and hence my desire to choose Mechanical as my career.

I would like to resent my performance as my credentials for success in the future endeavors. I had a strong penchant for learning and creativity and this ensured my consistent excellence in academics as well as extracurricular activities. I opted the same in my 10+2 with a First class and I was placed in the top 5% of 1, 28,000 students who took the Engineering entrance exam with me. This performance helped me in getting admission into SRI RAM ENGINEERING COLLEGE, Affiliated to ANNA UNIVERSITY.

During my under graduate course study, I was exposed to a plethora of diverse subjects in Mathematics, Pure Sciences, Engineering and Computers besides the intensive lab works in related subjects. During my second year of undergraduate, introduced me into the subject computer aided machine drawing, in this subject gained knowledge of designing a machine drawing through Auto CAD software & scored 90% of marks.

It was in my time of third & fourth year when I was introduced to subjects like, Automotive Engine Component Design, Automotive Chassis Component Design, Computer Aided Vehicle Design, Computer aided Manufacturing Lab, this course's laid me the strong fundamentals and problem solving techniques. Further courses like Mechanics of Machines, Fluid Mechanics and Machinery, Applied Thermodynamics, Introduction of Finite Element Analysis, and Production & Foundry Technology exposed me to new ideas which are the crux of today's Engineering problems. But computer relative subjects CAD/CAM are my most favorite subjects; these subjects increased my programming skills and analytical skills.

To tell you more about my interest, the final year project "Design and Fabrication of Drill JIG for Cylindrical Jobs" The newly designed drill jig helps to simplify the operation and reduces the risk of the operator during loading and unloading. Therefore even unskilled workers can operate the machine to produce accurate holes on the work piece. The replacement of skilled worker also proves cost effective. It drills the holes on the components with accurate alignment and hence loss of rejections will be minimized. It also protects the work piece surface free from scratches, damages, etc. formed by the chips generated during machining. For completing this project successfully I was awarded 90% of marks in my college.

After completion of my undergraduate I was placed in ANTRORSE TECHNO SOFT PVT,LTD, as a Training Engineer. the training program has encouraged me to learn various design application software package like Pro-E & Catia v5. After successful completion of training program, I was responsible for Creation of detail Engineering Drawing, Parametric Modelling of Auto Components using Relations, Reverse Engineering, Conversation of 2D to 3D.

Working on a number of group projects during the work & course of study I have come to appreciate the importance of teamwork while also realizing my leadership qualities. Case studies and class presentations have boosted up my confidence and enhanced my comprehensive, communication and analytic skills. Participating in class discussions and interacting and sharing with students their experiences will help build up a healthy learning environment. A blend of all these would certainly facilitate a positive approach towards my Masters Degree.

Mere technical knowledge does not mean everything in life. There are many more facets to life. Believing this, I have always tried to be in the forefront of extra-curricular activities right form childhood. I play basketball, football and Cricket. I captained my school team in several inter-district school matches. From these games I learnt the importance of team play. And also I am an active National Service Scheme (NSS) volunteer and have attended camps in orphanages conducting awareness programs to the rural children.

What I have learned is far from enough. Without advanced knowledge, I can hardly move forward. Definitely I know it is time to further my study with a graduate position with which I can work creatively. I wish to pursue further education in the field of Mechanical Engineering. This field has fascinated me because of challenges involved and its applicability in the present and the future. My earnest desire to continue my further studies at your graduate school stems, having a long record of academic excellence backed my expert faculties and good results.

Such an opportunity to study at University of ___________ would offer me a chance to work with students and faculty from diverse cultural and professional backgrounds further enhancing my knowledge of the outside world and would broaden my vision. All the more, campus placements offering opportunities across the globe would help build up my confidence. The latest and the most advanced marketing concepts and tools would give me a cutting edge in the present competitive world. I feel that my background, determination and willingness to succeed will be my strong allies in this endeavor. Moreover, the overseas education would help me in building a new personality by further improving my communication and interpersonal skills.

Several factors have influenced me in my decision to plan for further studies at your esteemed University. One of the reasons was the information provided on the website and the other was the advice given by my seniors. Another particular reason as to why I want to study at your esteemed university is that it provides the kind of exposure needed to broaden my thinking and undo any insular prejudices that might still be prevalent in me. Your Institution is a confluence of people from every culture and varied ideologies. I am sure that my exposure to these kinds of diverse influences would aid in the overall development of my personality and help me to broaden my view from narrow confines of nationalism to internationalism very clear as to my career aspirations.

I am convinced that my study at your Department would be meaningful and a rewarding experience. I look forward to have a long and profitable association with your esteemed University.

Thank you for the opportunity you have given me to express myself.
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 3, 2013   #2
you made no particular mistakes... well you are successful at expressing your desire and how much you are committed to it...

one more thing... do you think this much length will be appreciated ? for maybe the reader wont be easy for a lengthy statement...

BEST OF LUCK... :)
OP devaraj 2 / 5  
Mar 3, 2013   #3
hi guys..
OP devaraj 2 / 5  
Mar 3, 2013   #4
hi ..i am getting more struggle in making the essay short. so plz suggest me how to make it short ..
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 4, 2013   #5
to the extent i can understand, you can first devide your statement in your mind.. devide it into three... achievements, previous success, future plans and aims and reasons to them... correlate all these and try to discuss each one but in a quick survey... lessening the details of each experience you had... then talk about the about the advantages of your chosen profession..in just one paragraph... assign just one or two paras two each component restricting the details... and at such level each one is aware of how to summarise.. the basic lessons of school... :)

i just want to add one more thing that in some places.. complex and indigestible wording is deppriciated... may be you must work in this perspective too about your statement... :)
OP devaraj 2 / 5  
Mar 4, 2013   #6
Mere technical knowledge does not mean everything in life. There are many more facets to life. Believing this, I have always tried to be in the forefront of extra-curricular activities right form childhood. I play basketball, football and Cricket. I captained my school team in several inter-district school matches. From these games I learnt the importance of team play. And also I am an active National Service Scheme (NSS) volunteer and have attended camps in orphanages conducting awareness programs to the rural children.

What I have learned is far from enough. Without advanced knowledge, I can hardly move forward. Definitely I know it is time to further my study with a graduate position with which I can work creatively. I wish to pursue further education in the field of Mechanical Engineering. This field has fascinated me because of challenges involved and its applicability in the present and the future. My earnest desire to continue my further studies at your graduate school stems, having a long record of academic excellence backed my expert faculties and good results.

Such an opportunity to study at University of ___________ would offer me a chance to work with students and faculty from diverse cultural and professional backgrounds further enhancing my knowledge of the outside world and would broaden my vision. All the more, campus placements offering opportunities across the globe would help build up my confidence. The latest and the most advanced marketing concepts and tools would give me a cutting edge in the present competitive world. I feel that my background, determination and willingness to succeed will be my strong allies in this endeavor. Moreover, the overseas education would help me in building a new personality by further improving my communication and interpersonal skills.

Several factors have influenced me in my decision to plan for further studies at your esteemed University. One of the reasons was the information provided on the website and the other was the advice given by my seniors. Another particular reason as to why I want to study at your esteemed university is that it provides the kind of exposure needed to broaden my thinking and undo any insular prejudices that might still be prevalent in me. Your Institution is a confluence of people from every culture and varied ideologies. I am sure that my exposure to these kinds of diverse influences would aid in the overall development of my personality and help me to broaden my view from narrow confines of nationalism to internationalism very clear as to my career aspirations.

( in first paragraph i have told my aim .
in second paragraph i have told my in academic background .
in third& fourth paragraph i have told about my favorite subject & score.
in fifth paragraph i have told my project that make to choose a career in the filed .
in sixth paragraph i have explained my work experience to my interest )

so above paragraphs only makes lengthy i think so .. is it right r wrong ?
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 4, 2013   #7
yes thats much better... good... but in this attempt in removing difficult complex vocabulary you have lost use of better proverbial english and use of idioms... try to revive that.. :)

or maybe that seems... because you have copy pasted most of the text with exclusions...
OP devaraj 2 / 5  
Mar 4, 2013   #8
temptprovidence
can u suggest from where i have to start ..
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 4, 2013   #9
as you have used the quotation in the first attempt... that is good one... you can use an even better quotation as well... if you have time... i can let you some within the next 24 hours...
OP devaraj 2 / 5  
Mar 4, 2013   #10
i need to submit my sop with in 12/03/2013 . before that can you alter my sop please..


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