How your education and work, and life experience will contribute to your classmates' MBA experience

Instructions : In 500 words, or less describe how your education and work, and life experience will contribute to your classmates' MBA experi7ence.

bringing more dimension

I believe that my engineering degree will offer lots of opportunities for knowledge and expertise exchange with students from finance, business and other educational backgrounds. The engineering skills set will prove remarkable for integration of different ideas and perspectives pertaining to diverse issues we will face during case studies and group projects. Moreover, I have recently secured a highly demanding certification from the Project Management Institute (PMI) that grants me Project Management Professional (PMP) credentials. While studying the material provided by the institute I realized that my company, COMPANY, actually follows most of the PMI's frameworks and procedures, and that I had already used many of them in practice. Considering how important energy sector is for Kazakhstan's economy, I am sure that both theoretical and practical knowledge I possess in this field will be beneficial for my classmates.

Throughout the 7 years that I have been working in COMPANY, the leading oilfield service provider in the Middle East, I have had a chance to work in different departments and roles. Shortly after completing the technical training, I decided to switch to construction in order to get hands-on experience and deeply understand the challenges of the industry. I was soon deputed to Turkmenistan project, where all members of our team and all subcontractor personnel that I was working with were much elder than me (I was 22 at that time). In addition to that, I didn't have any construction experience when I joined. It was one the most challenging situations I had ever been in my life before. But instead of despair I responded to that challenge with perseverance and dedication, which gradually earned me good reputation and respect of the team. The amount of trust and belief I had received from the management helped me to unleash my leadership potential and greatly boosted my self-confidence. I will bring these abilities and experience with me to the UNIVERSITY.

Upon completion of that project I continued working in the main office in Project Engineering department receiving completely different insights on the project execution. Such diversified experience has given me a very comprehensive understanding of the overall EPC (Engineering, Procurement & Construction) projects execution. I would be delighted to share my professional experience with other students, and to find out the common and differing features of the Kazakhstan's local and other international markets.

Finally, having worked for two years in Turkmenistan and for the rest of my career in the Middle East region, I have always been a part of international teams. I have closely worked with a wide range of nationalities and cultures, which has taught me to get along with diverse people and has helped me to make a lot of friends around the globe. These interactions will allow me to bring one more dimension to UNIVERSITY's already diverse culture. I would love to share the insights I gained with my classmates, and I look forward to enriching my world with the insights of others.

Serik, you totally concentrated on discussing your academic and professional experiences in the essay. That is not the correct approach to take. You have to represent 3 aspects of your personality in the essay. Aside from the professional and academic side of your personality, you also need to show the "life experience" that you have had which will help you and your classmates to adjust to the demanding world of masters degree classes in a country that is not your own. In truth, paragraphs 2,3, and 4 are not necessary in the essay. Mostly because it focuses only on the professional side of your personality. There are 3 expected representations in the essay. Make sure to revise the essay to accurately represent the academic, professional, and social life that you have had. All of these should combine to create a better written representation of the kind of professional, student, and private person that you are in real life. Without that balance in the discussion, this is nothing more than a professional statement, which is not what is required of you by the prompt instructions.

Mary, I believe that first two paragraphs do represent important academic and professional experiences. I agree that third paragraph was not adding much value, so I will remove it. I have modified the last paragraph a bit. Hope it reads better now.

I am applying to a local university (in my country), so I expect very few (or none) international candidates, and not many applicants with international work experience. Hence the emphasis on my international "life experience" in the last paragraph.

The next time that you ask for an essay review, make sure that you give complete information regarding the prompt requirements and the university that you will be attending. If it is only for a local university then say so. The assumption will always be that you are applying for an international university. The advice given to you was based on that assumption. It is obvious that you were not seeking advice, rather only approval of what you wrote. So I will not say anything about it anymore at this point. You are happy with the essay you developed. Use this essay the way you have it revised. As long as the essay format and content makes you satisfied and happy, nothing else, not even the opinion and advice of others, matters at this point. Since this is my second free advice on the essay, should you wish to ask for further clarifications or other things, you should consider using our "Urgent" thread in order to continue the discussion.