Erasmus Mundus Scholarship - Masters in Models and Methods of Quantitative Economics (QEM)

Hey guys, could you please provide corrections for my statement of purpose for the Erasmus Mundus scholarship? Ill leave it at the end of this sentence. Please know that I have followed the format from the official website of the program (master-economics-qem.univ-paris1.fr/application/how-to-apply/).

"A.

Statement of Purpose

I am applying for the Erasmus Mundus Master Course QEM - Models and Methods of Quantitative Economics

"Theory without practice is just as incomplete as practice without theory" - Assata Shakur

Today, markets are more volatile than ever. Changes in consumer preferences, the emergence 'healthy' competition and the unceasing encroachment of globalization are all driving factors behind this volatility and eventual recession.

For instance, in 2007 the US housing market was doing well. However, the base of this market was made up of securities, which in turn were made up of housing loans given to people with very poor credit rating. This happened due to an increased demand for housing and predatory competition between credit rating agencies. Then, when the US housing market eventually did collapse, due to mass default, it sent a ripple through the roots of trade and led to detrimental effects in markets globally. However, this 'doomsday event' did not happen overnight and could have been estimated and averted through tools.

I firmly believe that the Masters QEM program strives to provide these tools to its participants, which is why I wish to participate. This program is a marriage of theory and practice, two of the most important lessons in any economist's arsenal and one is incomplete without the other, just as Shakur mentioned. The program teaches its participants how to quantitatively analyze economic problems and provide real-world solutions for them. I wish to gain these tools to enrich my academic knowledge and professional experience, in order to get one step (a giant step) closer towards my dream of being in a position to influence monetary/fiscal policies locally and globally.

In my role as a Relationship Manager in The City Bank Limited, one of the top 3 local banks in Bangladesh, I had to be an astute pupil of market trends. My key objective was to bring in profitable business for the Bank and in a market where the volume of default loans rose by 24% in the 4th quarter of 2019 alone that is easier said than done. Hence, identifying potential downturns in various industries, via market research, became absolutely vital and almost second nature.

This lure towards research stemmed from my days as an Undergrad student in NSU. Not long after I was admitted into the university, my father went into retirement. Finance was thus tight and I not only had to maintain my 50% merit based scholarship but also had to engage in various part time jobs to meet up my tuition and day to day expenses. I thus started working in various publications such as Bangladesh Brand Forum, SD Asia, Light Castle Partners & The Financial Express. In each role I was given the job of a researcher and had to write up weekly articles about local and foreign industries, which is how I began life as a researcher & honed my research skills. I also participated in four different marketing competitions, where research was a key aspect and had to be implemented in real-life situations."

Any help at all will be much appreciated

In actuality, you only followed the format of the website regarding required content in one paragraph. Paragraph 4 indicates a shallow reference to the motivation behind your application. It explains your reason for applying but does not heavily present your background in relation to your application and clear intentions after your degree. You really do not need to use the quote at the start and the long winded explanation about the US housing bubble and bust.

You could have directly started with paragraph 4, a more appropriate and beneficial paragraph for the reviewer's information. You also do not indicate your university choices and if you require the scholarship to enroll in the program or not. Basically, you still need at least 3 more informative paragraphs based on :

- Preferred mobility track
- Scholarship

Use paragraph 4 to open your second version, then work more on providing the missing information for the essay.

Thank you for the critique. I actually did write the rest of the parts (parts B and C) but didn't think they needed vetting since they were pretty straight forward.

I'll take your critiques into account and post another draft after a couple of hours. Thank you immensely for the help.