The seeds of my love for computers were first planted during my middle school years, when I excelled in mathematics and information technology
Avoid flowery statements or metaphors. Stating that you have a "love for" anything is a tad corny. You want to come across as a serious and motivated individual.
n addition, I have also
.
One activity where I had the opportunity to blend my love for technology and my passion for helping others
Again ...Is there another way you can say this?
I believe I am well qualified to contribute to your graduate program as a teaching or research assistant should I be called upon to do so .
Eliminate unnecessary wording such as "I believe" statements
I have the steadfast belief that I will prove to be an invaluable addition to your graduate program, and your program will serve as a solid step on the path of my professional pursuits.
Same issue as before. Why not just state " I will be an invaluable..."
Therefore, I have a strong interest in stable, reliable database creation and implementation, particularly for campuses, businesses, and governments of less developed nations.
We delivered an accurate, portable, scalable, robust, user-friendly system that surpassed the general expectations of the designated user, and we were publicly acknowledged for most outstanding and creative system
Apologies if I sounded harsh. I can honestly say that this is one of the better statements I have ever read in terms of content (the writing could be clearer). You sound skilled and can back up your interests with concrete accomplishments. Furthermore, you reflect on your experiences and sound intelligent. Rework your somewhat bland introduction cheesy and be wary of those "I have always loved..." statements. Your experience speaks for itself.