I am pleased to read your essay because you provide a fresh notion. Good Job. However, let me try to give you some comments. Here we go:
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs
You require to to paraphrase the prompt with your own words. Maybe you can use these sentences for your option :Some people agree that they have to treat creatures in the same way such as humans and animals, but others argue that they can use animals for special importance.
I strongly agree with the
lattersstatementsand my essay will discuss both sides of this issue .
In my opinion, it is better if you write your abstract of essay here, make your thesis statement briefly and clearly to answer task responses. You may want to pick this one : (I attempt to use your ideas to arrange these sentences)I extremely believe that exploiting of animals is immoral behaviour since people can make them in suffering. Likewise, people can utilize them to improve in conducting research and gain nutritious food.
3. In body paragraphs, you can describe your single and multiple ideas. Yet, ensure that you explain in proper way. For single idea, use pattern : topic sentences --> reason --> example --> result --> conclusion (optional).
Moreover, for multiple notions, you can use : topic sentences --> reason 1 + explanation 1 --> reason 2 + explanation 2 --> reason 3 + explanation 3
. These patterns can be used rather than you make your sentence with questions.
In conclusion, also people who protect animals have their explanations; I strongly agree that killing animals for needs of food and research are ethical.
You need at least two or three sentences for your conclusion. Then, you can paraphrase your thesis statement for making your essay stronger. Afterwards, combine your ideas in body paragraphs while you can cite your opinion or recommendation that relates to the topic.I hope it helps, good luck then :)