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IELTS TASK 2 -Exploiting or giving animals same rights as human


Lucy Ngong 3 / 4  
Dec 7, 2015   #1
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion


A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs. I strongly agree with the latters and my essay will discuss both sides of this issue. [ Can you help me to find an other introduction to avoid repeat the question ]

People who support animal rights suppose that utilization of animals is immoral behavior. Fist, mistreating and killing animals are ill-natured action. Despite the fact that lions, tigers, and pumas need to be live in jungles; they are imprisoned in zoos with the purpose of human's entertainment. Besides, at slaughterhouse, animals are taken blood or beat to dead. When you know that butchery, you may not want to eat meat any more. Second, why animals have no rights whiles they also have thought feelings and mind as mankind? We love ours children and we want to stay beside them, take care of them day by day. So why do we force a hen to leave her chick in order to server our diner? Human, third, should be thankful to animals instead of killing them. Let see how animals help our life to be comfortable and convenient. Sheep give us their leather to keep warm, dogs help blind people find their ways.

The others say exploitation of animals is acceptable for several reasons. I also support this view. The first benefit of these employments is providing a huge nutrient-rich food source. If we only eat vegetable, fruits and rice or bread, we may not have enough energy for a busy working-day. In addition, when people are all vegetarians, there is a serious lack of food in all over the world. Second, scientific research must be tested on animals before applied in practice. Dugs and vaccine trials contribute new effective methods of prevention and treatment. Above and beyond, without examination on bird, we may not invent airplane today. Giving equal rights to animals is the third unreasonableness. Humans is the king of all species because man is the smartest specie, others must obey human. After we grant rights to animals, the world may become chaotic.

In conclusion, also people who protect animals have their explanations; I strongly agree that killing animals for needs of food and research are ethical.

fahmisadja 33 / 33 34  
Dec 7, 2015   #2
Hi Lucy,

I am pleased to read your essay because you provide a fresh notion. Good Job. However, let me try to give you some comments. Here we go:


1.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs

You require to to paraphrase the prompt with your own words. Maybe you can use these sentences for your option :
Some people agree that they have to treat creatures in the same way such as humans and animals, but others argue that they can use animals for special importance.

2.

I strongly agree with thelattersstatementsand my essay will discuss both sides of this issue .

In my opinion, it is better if you write your abstract of essay here, make your thesis statement briefly and clearly to answer task responses. You may want to pick this one : (I attempt to use your ideas to arrange these sentences)

I extremely believe that exploiting of animals is immoral behaviour since people can make them in suffering. Likewise, people can utilize them to improve in conducting research and gain nutritious food.

3. In body paragraphs, you can describe your single and multiple ideas. Yet, ensure that you explain in proper way. For single idea, use pattern : topic sentences --> reason --> example --> result --> conclusion (optional). Moreover, for multiple notions, you can use : topic sentences --> reason 1 + explanation 1 --> reason 2 + explanation 2 --> reason 3 + explanation 3. These patterns can be used rather than you make your sentence with questions.

4.

In conclusion, also people who protect animals have their explanations; I strongly agree that killing animals for needs of food and research are ethical.

You need at least two or three sentences for your conclusion. Then, you can paraphrase your thesis statement for making your essay stronger. Afterwards, combine your ideas in body paragraphs while you can cite your opinion or recommendation that relates to the topic.

I hope it helps, good luck then :)


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