Hi
I have a letter to be sent to the director of computer science and engineering department. I already applied through the university online system, but I want to impress the proffessor who is in charge of the department. I didn't find the program coordinator and the university is not large ( Santa Clara Univeristy , California ) , so the only way left for me is to go directly to the director.
I am an Electrical engineer who is applying for MS Computer Engineering, and I graduated in 2000. I don't have strong GPA and even my TOEFL score is bad ( 61 ), so because of that I feel that I should impress the right guy in the faculty and I hope that the department director is the right person.
By the way, SoP wasn't required for application, so I didn't submit one.
Thanks
The letter:
Dear Sir
Greetings
I am pleased to introduce myself as an applicant to the Master of Science degree in computer science and engineering program. I hold a bachelor of engineering degree in electrical engineering and I worked as a telecommunications engineer in a power utility company for 13 years.
I am applying for computer engineering program because of two reasons; the first is the fact that telecommunications and data networks are now integrated and closely related, and the second is computer systems is highly used in monitoring and controlling of power grid and the management of operations.
My vision is to be an ICT (Information and Communications Technology) specialist that design and engineer the information infrastructure of the modernized power grid that is so called the Smart Grid; the data networks, wireless networks, wireless sensor networks, telecommunications , cloud computing and data centers, network management systems , security issues in different levels of the information infrastructure.
I read through the curriculum of the program and I found it suitable and in line with my goals. And I found other courses that I could take them as electives such as ELEN 285, COEN 250 and CENG 217 if it is allowed.
[ my name ]
[ my mobile number ]
I do not find any problem with the letter you have written. I am surprised that you got 61 only for TOEFL because if you wrote that letter yourself, then you have good writing skills that do not justify your TOEFL score :D Also, I have no idea about how you can make an impression about you with this letter as it is outside the application process. Anyways, this letter is fine in terms of grammar and content.
Thanks dumi :)
Yes, I wrote this letter by my self. I don't know exactly why I toke 61 in the last June. What makes me crazy that I got 70 in 2010, I should've been improved in the last three years :)
Thank you again for your review and comment :)
Well.... may you need to practice more with time. It's the most deciding factor on your score for all four tasks equally. The more you practice the more you become confident and better. I think you don't have a problem with skills, but may be you haven't prepared yourself for facing these tasks properly. TOEFL and IELTS are not exams that test your English to a very high level, but they are two exams that you cannot handle without serious preparation :)
