This is my essay so far. Please feel free to comment, make suggestions, or search for any grammatical/spelling errors! I appreciate your help!
- Which personal characteristics and motivating factors have led you to pursue the profession of physical therapy? (4500 characters)
Failure and defeat is an experience shared and understood by everyone. Although we automatically think that failure is something to be ashamed of, it is actually the key component in fostering improvement.
Being a doctor had always been my life-long goal but an embarrassing fall in front of the AP physics class and a nasty tear to a tendon in my left ankle exposed me to the world of physical therapy. After attending only a few sessions, there was a noticeable lessening in pain and an improvement in the flexibility of my ankle. I became a true believer of the power of rehab.
My first great success came when Penn State accepted me into their DPT program, to be re-evaluated later for further placement. An internship at an outpatient center showed me how truly rewarding the profession was. It was inspiring to see a patient come in for therapy with little confidence in their routines and leave a few weeks later feeling on top of the world because they are able to take their brace off. Regardless of how hopeless a patient may feel one day, it was our job to be encouraging and to know where to draw the line. Patients would always thank me for my help on their way out and I was always happy to discuss their progress with the therapist. Their positivity and growth always made my day.
A 3.3 average was required at the end of sophomore year in order to stay in the program and the school declared that, at 2.7, my GPA was not impressive enough. This was my first real failure in life. It was clear that running a failing club, representing the Student Government Association, volunteering as a peer counselor, attending tennis practice, and making time for a paid job while taking organic chemistry was too much responsibility in one year. I can never say I was a star student in school because there was only a 3.0 average to show after my years in college.
Not sure what to do, I continued volunteering in the physical therapy setting. My most recent volunteer position led me to a very witty, kind woman named Minnie. In the last ten years, Minnie had lost 150 pounds, had a hip replacement, surgery in her shoulder, and needs a special shoe because one leg is slightly shorter. The way she spoke about herself and her injuries, it was obvious that she believed her body had failed her, as if she had failed herself.
A week after I started, the therapist and PT aide decided to introduce Minnie to the walker. She needed a lot of help standing up since one shoulder was weak. Her legs wobbled under her and she was clearly uncomfortable with her wedged shoe. At first, she only walked about ten feet. The next day, it was about twenty. A little more than a week later, she was able to walk the whole 90 feet from one end of the room to the other.
The PT aide jokes that I am Minnie's inspiration. He noticed that on the few days I come in, Minnie does her best and is in a better mood. She is more positive and usually experiences a more successful rehab session. I can tell that both Minnie and the aide believe it but what they don't know is that Minnie has become a real inspiration to me. I do my best to devote some time to her each day and when we go on her walks, I am a motivating voice behind her. Some days she becomes upset if she can't make it to the other wall, but all I have to do is remind her how far she's gotten in the last few weeks. The progress she displays each day is remarkable.
Minnie and many other patients I have met on my journey have become a real inspiration. They are my motivation for becoming a PT. I don't want to just help people, I want to help others realize their potentials and overcome their own failures just as I am overcoming mine.
great concept, I admire your drive and passion to overcome obstacles.
from a stricly "essay" point of view, your opening lines should be less generalized. Write an opening that will definitely catch the attention of admissions officers.
