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Since my first economics lesson; Motivation Essay for MSc Econometrics


coohran 2 / 4 1  
Feb 2, 2014   #1
Hi there!

I'm trying to write a motivation essay for entry to a graduate program in the Netherlands (coming from the UK with BSc Economics).

The instructions say "around 300 words", which is rather tight. I'm currently at 358.

Any tips/criticisms would be greatly appreciated!

Since my first economics lesson at A-level, an insatiable curiosity has resonated within me. Undergraduate study has furthered my understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics, and numerical methods that support them. When researching my thesis I was captivated by economic methods not covered by the syllabus. This led to the realization that undergraduate economics is a mere introduction to an ever-expanding discipline.

Through studying econometrics at an advanced level and interacting with lecturers and peers, I aim to become well versed in this field and apply that knowledge once I start work. I am applying to this programme specifically for its rigour. My motivation for postgraduate study is to develop my analytical skills in size and sophistication, not to simply obtain another qualification.

Captivated by its ability to predict the behaviour of interrelated variables, I chose every econometrics module available on my course. In doing so I have gained good experience using Stata and EViews, running regressions such as OLS, IV, Probit, Logit and ARMA models, on data sets of varying size. I am fascinated by time-series analysis and, in addition to ARDL models used in my thesis, have self-taught models commonly used for volatility such as ARCH and GARCH; these will be useful for the Financial Econometrics course.

My eventual career path once I complete my studies is of vital importance and I aspire to work as a quantitative analyst within a multinational corporation in Europe. The approach taken at the University of XXXXX with regards to the thesis is highly appealing as I will be able to engage with problems directly relevant to an organization's operations.

This course provides an opportunity to improve not only my education, but also myself as an individual. Learning in an international setting within a culturally diverse student body will facilitate an exchange of views and ideas beneficial to all parties.

I strive to be the best at what I do and the teaching approach at the University of XXXXX is conducive to the achievement of my goals. If accepted, I will be an active member of the programme and strive to add value through hard work and intellectual prowess.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 3, 2014   #2
This led to the realization that undergraduate economics is a mere introduction to an ever-expanding discipline.

where "this" refers to ? economic methods or syllabus
Mustafa1991 8 / 373 4  
Feb 3, 2014   #3
From the first a-level economics lesson, I have experienced insatiable curiosity. I have gained an understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics and the numeric methods that support them. The dearth of economic methods covered by the syllabus surprised me during my thesis research. I concluded: Undergraduate Economics is the iceberg's tip!

Studying advanced econometrics and interacting with lecturers and peers, I aim to gain mastery in the field and to apply those insights once I start work. I am applying to this programme for its rigour. My motivation for postgraduate study is developing my analytical thinking skills, not simply padding my qualifications.

Enamored with its predictive power, I chose every econometrics module available on my course. Resultantly, I have gained experience using Stata and EViews, running regressions such as x, y, z, and (verb) ARMA models, on an array of data. I am fascinated by time-series analysis and, in addition to ARDL models used in my thesis, have self-taught models commonly used for volatility such as ARCH and GARCH; these will be useful for the Financial Econometrics course.

Upon completion of studies, I aspire to work as a quantitative analyst with a multinational corporation in Europe. The approach taken at the University of XXXXX related to the thesis is attractive, as it will enable me to engage with problems directly relevant to an organization's operations.

This course provides a chance to advance my education and my individual development. Learning in an international setting, amidst a diverse student body, will facilitate an exchange of views and ideas beneficial to all parties.

I strive to excel and the teaching approach at the University of XXXXX is conducive to this work ethic. If accepted, I will be an active member of the programme and add value through hard work and intellectual discernment.


This is 300 words. A few points:

1. Always try to include the prompt: It helps crystallize the scope to those giving feedback; the added context enables us to give responses that are relevant and reliable.

2. The passive voice requires more words than the active voice.
3. Delete obviously unnecessary words (e.g. "in size and sophistication").
4. Consider what ideas MUST be conveyed. Consider what points are needed to support those ideas. (Consider your audience and how it constrains your diction.) Consider what words are INDISPENABLE to express those points.
OP coohran 2 / 4 1  
Feb 4, 2014   #4
Hello, thank you for your comments. I apologise for not including the prompt. Please find below a revision, as well as the original prompt.

Please describe in about 300 words why you wish to attend the programme.

Whilst researching the causes and effects of the rising levels of youth unemployment, I discovered a skills mismatch between the supply of graduates and the demands of global industry. Perhaps for earlier generations a degree was sufficient to secure a successful career. However, in today's highly competitive labour market the paradigm has shifted. Employers in the 21st century care less for what you know, and more for what you can do.

My first economics lesson at school instilled a profound curiosity. Studying at undergraduate level developed my understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics and the mathematics that supports them. I was surprised by the dearth of econometric methods covered by the syllabus during my thesis research, soon realising that undergraduate Economics is a mere introduction to a rapidly expanding discipline.

I aspire to lead an international career, working as a quantitative analyst in a European institution before working on other continents. My ambitions require a university that emphasizes the diffusion of culture and knowledge as I wish to gain mastery in this field and apply those insights wherever I work.

I am drawn to this course for its reputation as a being rigorous and challenging; it is in this environment that I will learn the most. I am fascinated by time-series analysis and, in addition to ARDL models used in my thesis, have self-taught models commonly used for volatility such as ARCH and GARCH; these will be useful for the Financial Econometrics course. The approach taken towards the thesis is attractive as it utilises the university's proximity to the financial centre and will enable me to engage with problems directly relevant to an organisation's operations.

Enrolling at the University of XXXXX is conducive to realising my ambitions. If accepted I will be an active member of the programme, interacting with lecturers and peers, and strive to add value through hard work and intellectual discernment.

315 words in total, which I think should be ok...
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 4, 2014   #5
Hi, coohran

However,in today's highly competitive labour market the paradigm has shifted

as I know preposition cannot positioned as subject
this sentence I suggest
Nowadays, the paradigm of highly competitive labour market has shifted.

Employers in the 21st century care less for what you know, and more for what you can do.

Studying at undergraduate level developed my understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics and the mathematics that supports them.

i can't find the verb in these clauses

However, your idea is good enough
I suggest to read again after you write for check reader understandable
good luck :D
OP coohran 2 / 4 1  
Feb 13, 2014   #6
Whilst researching the causes and effects of growing youth unemployment, I discovered a mismatch between the skills of graduates and the demands of global industry. Perhaps for earlier generations a degree was sufficient to secure a successful career. However, the paradigm has shifted in today's highly competitive labour market. Employers in the 21st century care less for what you know, and more for what you can do.

My first economics lesson at school instilled a profound curiosity. Studying at undergraduate level developed my understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics and the mathematics supporting them. I was surprised by the dearth of econometric methods covered by the syllabus during my thesis research, soon realising that undergraduate Economics is a mere introduction to a rapidly expanding discipline.

I aspire to lead an international career working as a quantitative analyst in a multinational organisation. My aim is to employ the statistical tools developed on this course to extract insights from large datasets and support key decision-making. My ambitions require a university that emphasizes the diffusion of culture and knowledge as I wish to gain mastery in this field and apply those insights wherever I work.

I am drawn to this course for its rigor and intensity; it is in this environment that I will learn the most. I am fascinated by time-series analysis and, in addition to ARDL models used in my thesis, have self-taught models commonly used for volatility such as ARCH and GARCH; these will be useful for the Financial Econometrics course. The approach taken towards the thesis is attractive as it utilises the university's proximity to large organisations and will enable me to engage with real-world problems.

Today, most transactions are mediated through computers. As data becomes cheaper to store, the growing potential for collection and analysis is exciting. I am intrigued by applications of machine learning techniques and the potential benefits for econometric analysis. Workshops on programming in R have been insightful and I continue to supplement my learning through participation in online courses offered by Coursera.

Enrolling at the University of XXXXX is conducive to realising my ambitions. If accepted I will be an active member of the programme, interacting with lecturers and peers, and strive to add value through hard work and intellectual discernment.

It's 378 words! If the prompt says "Please describe in about 300 words why you wish to attend the programme." Will I be heavily penalised for going slightly over? I'm not sure what to take out really as it includes everything I want to put across.

Please help! :/


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