Personal statement for MS in MEDIA MANAGEMENT at Fordham Uni. They dont give the exact topic for the personal statement/essay. However, these are the guidelines:
"-explain to an admissions committee why you are the perfect candidate for a program.
-highlight academic and career accomplishments, personal achievements, and other unique qualities
-If there is an issue that you feel must be addressed in the application, explain the issue and how you grew personally as a result of the issue. If you did not perform to your ability in undergraduate studies, for example, be sure to indicate how you have compensated for a poor performance and what sort of maturation process you have experienced since then. "
Its my first time writing a graduate essay and first time writing something for an American uni, which I find rather different from the British one.
Please, dear forum community, be so kind to check it out and give me any suggestions you find necessary :)
As a Russian citizen, who received her degree from a British university located in China, I believe I have quite a diverse insight into the power of the Media and how it is used. Taming this power might not be easy, but I believe that a Master programme in Media Management will surely shed light onto how to control the most mind-blowing and avant-garde aspects of this powerful device with minimum damage and maximum benefit.
My passion for Media began with Ogilvy's "Confessions of an Advertising Man" when I was 16. Since then I used every opportunity to enhance my creative and PS skills. I have played a leading role in the revival of The International Student Society at my university. There I have achieved long-awaited recognition and a legitimate position as a Head of Design. I was managing my own team of graphic designers and participating in creative brainstorming. Numerous successful events initiated by ISSoc became a tradition at our young Nottingham China campus: End of the Year Party, Thanksgiving dinner, Global Village. I have personally led my Russian team to victory in 3 consecutive Global Village events in 2012, 2013 and 2014. Moreover, I have gathered theoretical knowledge in such fields as Arts and Culture, PR and Propaganda, Managing and Marketing. I have also worked at a local TV station, which taught me to observe, absorb and evaluate Media practices in China and the West.
However, at that time I believed practical experience was the only important factor in a successful job. Thus, I was not particularly keen on achieving academic excellence and instead of focusing on further study after the graduation, I have spent most of the time on a number of part-time jobs. I have spread myself too thin and gained little solid experience. Such "here-and-there" work showed me an important thing - though Chinese market is not completely saturated, it can be very hard to succeed with all the competition from 1,5 billion local employees and a large number of professional expat specialists. Now I know - If I want to achieve career success and master the use of Media I have to learn from the professionals.
This is the reason why I chose Fordham University for my further studies. I believe that both its focus on academic excellence and its encouragement for personal development will greatly contribute to my learning and will serve as a springboard for continuing achievements at a workspace. My ideal work would be developing, managing and supervising various Media activities: PR and ad campaigns for industry's top organizations. In this field, professional prosperity is not only up to one's education, but also one's personality and life experience. I am proud to say that years I have spent in the most dynamic part of China, studying in a European university and absorbing all sorts of cultures and worldviews made me more than just a citizen of my own country, but rather a citizen of the world. And I have no doubt that this is the crucial part of success in this era of diversity, globalization and tolerance.
I can help you with your essay.
1st paragraph: "power of the media-this word needs to be all lowercase letters.
Also, a word need to place" shed light regarding".
When you describe minimum damage, this is not specific. Do you mean part of media management is ensuring the media equipment is working at it's maximum capability? Then ensuring there is minimal damage and maximum benefits is more understandable to your reader.
2nd paragraph: "media" should be in all lowercase letters. The second sentence place a comma after "then". I think you should describe PS, rather than use the abbreviation.
Here is a suggestion to correct this sentence: "Also, I have achieved a long-awaited recognition and position as the Head of Design." I'm unsure what type of recognition you received. Was it the Head of Design too?
The correct use of capitalizing media in your essay was when you described your major in the first paragraph. This is the only exception. When you see the word "media" in the next paragraphs, it should be in all lowercase letters.
3rd paragraph: Change part of the second sentence:"... furthering my academic studies after graduation, I spent most of my time working part-time jobs." The next sentence change have to "had". You could use the word "sporadic(which means occasional)" or the word "intermittent" (stop and start) rather than here-and-there. Did you work in China? I was unsure why China was being discussed in this sentence. Please explain.
The last sentence, change the beginning of the sentence:" Now I know if I want to achieve career success and master the use of media,..."
4th paragraph: Change the word order at the end of the first sentence:" to further my education." Change workspace to job.
Change the beginning of this sentence:
"I am proud to say that the years...". You could end your essay with this sentence.
I hope this helps!
