I'd like to apply for KGSP graduate study and the self introduction essay should have the topics below:
>Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
> Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
> Your motivations for applying for this program
> Reason for study in Korea
the path to my dreams
It was never occurred to me to be a pharmacist before until one day I saw a faculty ads in 2011. It said that by learning pharmacy that you will become a professional individual who could improve people's life. That simple line struck me immediately and ever since that day I aimed to be an excellent pharmacist and give back to the society in the future. Having set my target high, I knew that my journey would not be so straightforward. I do not have a rich family, not academically gifted, my grades were mediocre, nor have any particular talent. But I was determined to achieve my goal. I admitted into XXX University Pharmacy Faculty in 2011 and soon realized that it takes a great effort to be successful. The school is full of busy schedules and timetables. There were always new formula to remembers, another paper to read, another reports to write, and another exam I needed to prepare for. Despite a heavy school workload, I commit myself to be a private tutor. Research has shown that students who work while studying tend to perform better. It is true that occasionally I felt overwhelmed after returning back home and still have to study for the test next day. But I kept on going even to this date as it's turned out to be enjoyable. On top of that, I also joined student executive board, and was appointed as the group leader organizing many of the university's event. By doing this, it helps me to be more efficient in managing my time, study better, and expand my network circle.
In the beginning of my final year, I had to choose a research topic for the final year project. I chose the study on tomato sunscreen. I chose tomato because it is a tropical fruit readily available in every season and has many functional activity for its active component, lycopene, a strong antioxidant that could be useful as a skin supplement and natural UV filter. I enjoyed this research topic very much and developed affection towards the use of natural products especially for cosmetics. My topic drew attentions of many lecturers and it was featured on the first page of the local newspaper. In May 2015, I earned my Bachelor degree and was recognized as the best student with the highest cGPA in the entire cohort. I was very happy but soon realized that this was merely a good start for my next step. I took another year of professional pharmacy study. During that period, I gained a lot of practical experiences by working in both pharmaceutical industry and clinical pharmacy. I joined an internship program at XXX, an American pharmaceutical company and one of the largest. I also joined an internship program at XXX, very famous pharmacy store and health clinic. Through those internships, I was able to improve my ability in decision-making, patient-counseling, and interpersonal skills.
After finishing one year professional study, I decided to pursue a career in natural products field. I started a career as a researcher and formulator at XXX, a local company promoting themselves as a natural cosmetic manufacturer. My main responsibility is to make natural extracts from plants and formulate them into a cosmetic products. First, I should find a plant with an active component that meets cosmetic's function as skin lightening, anti-inflammation, skin tightening, etc. and find a method to extract this plant as such the active component is not missing during the process by following a proper procedure. Next, I should find a formula to ensure these active components work efficiently when applied on human skin. The experiences gained for the past one year have helped me to develop a better understanding of natural product cosmetics application and pharmaceutical formulation. I learned to be more creative and better at solving problem. Working in this field also ascertain my ambition to learn more about the natural products general applications, not limited only to its use as cosmetics but also as a drugs.
I would like to be a specialist in formulating natural products drugs and developing them into world-class medicines. There are 30,000 species of plants that grow in my country, among those 7,000 have been used as a traditional medicine. There lies a golden opportunity shall one possess the right amount of skill. Besides, I also want to have more knowledge about pharmacy so that one day I could be a lecturer and teach the younger generation. So I decided to enroll on a master programme.
I love Korea. In the beginning, I only developed small curiosity when watching a popular show "Running Man". Soon after, I began to research about studying in Korea and imagining myself living in the city. I was actively doing research about the several international universities and various scholarship programs and then heard about KGSP. It was a perfect match and I believe that this is the path to my dreams. Through KGSP, it shall enable me to enter one of the Korean Universities. I read that they are actively doing research on natural products and new drug development.
Well done @nono15. I enjoyed reading your essay.
Although I feel that you may need to make the reasons of choosing the KGSP programme more clear. It was not clear for me why you chose this master programme, because you love Korea ?
If you are applying through the University track it is important to mention which University you are applying for and why that chosen university was compatible for you.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,594 3760
Novenia, your motivation for studying your masters degree in Korea needs to be better developed. It should be in reference to something more than just having seen a Korean movie so you started to research about Korea and you liked what you read. The reference to the motivation must always, always, be in relation to your chosen profession and the progression of your career. So, tell the reviewer if you plan to continue to grow your career in the field of natural cosmetics. Since Korea is known for its affinity for all things natural, then studying something along those lines in Korea would be a natural progression for you. That is because your career is based upon the pharmaceutical development of natural cosmetic products. This would be a stronger connection between your career and the KGSP program you are applying for admission to. Revise your final statement to become stronger using the information I gave you. Make sure to do additional research if necessary, before you write another version of the concluding paragraph.
Thank you so much for your time and your suggestions. I will revise it following your advice
Your essay is good, but I believe you should express a compelling reason why you are interested in studying in Korea such as research project you are interested in, or appealing research facilities available in Korea.
I have revised it. Please take a look.
My biggest motivation to apply this program is to achieve my future plan. I would like to be a specialist ...
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,594 3760
Novenia, don't explain about the language program in the essay if it is only in reference to the KGSP being a prestigious program and you want to learn Hangul. Those sentences are really weak and not necessary to state. Speaking of your parents, I overlooked the fact that you did not refer to your course of life at the start of your essay. You can incorporate that into this paragraph where you state that you want to make them prior. What is your family background in relation to the proud that completing this course will bring to your family? That is necessary to address in your essay as part of your course of life and point of view about life. The last paragraph works better for the essay. It's a good revision. However, you should explain your exposure to the Korean cosmetics industry and how it enticed you to apply for a master's course in the country. It could be through advertising or research you did after seeing a few of their cosmetics in the market.
Thank you Ms Mary
I have revised it again following your advice, but i think my essay becoming too long.. hahaha.. what parts should be shortened?
My biggest motivation to apply this program is to achieve my future plan. I would like to be a specialist in natural products and developing them into world-class health-care products. There are 30,000 species of plants that grow in my country, among those 7,000 have been used as a traditional medicine. There lies a golden opportunity shall one possess the right amount of skill. Besides, I also want to have more knowledge about pharmacy so that one day I could be a lecturer and teach the younger generation. Other motivation is that I could make my parents proud. Both my parents was merely a high-school-graduate, my father worked as a shoe factory employee and my family was not a rich family, so they would not be able to pay my tuition on overseas college. Therefore, having a child who gets an overseas study scholarship must be beyond their expectations. For those motivations, I decided to enroll on this master programme.
I love Korea. In the beginning, I only developed small curiosity when watching a popular show "Running Man". Soon after, I began to research about studying in Korea and imagining myself living in the city. Since Korea is well known for its claim for natural health care or cosmetic products, then I thought that studying in Korea would be the best stepping stone to achieve my future plan. During my work in the cosmetic industry, through various seminars and exhibitions, I have recognized many brands of cosmetics and natural active ingredients from Korea. Korea has advanced technology in developing the natural active ingredients, such as the development of snail slime, Jeju volcanic rocks, bee venom, and many other plant sources. It was attracted me to apply the master's degree in Korea.I was actively doing research about the several Korean Universities which actively researching on natural products and various Korea's scholarship programs which finally I chose KGSP. It was a perfect match and I believe that this is the path to my dreams. Through KGSP, it shall enable me to enter one of the Korean Universities.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,594 3760
Actually, your essay is still too short if you are to consider that you need to provide definitive discussions of the 4 prompt requirements. The essay that you wrote took a lot of short cuts in establishing those facts. You can actually expand on your discussion because the essay you are supposed to present is supposed to be on a single page, Times New Roman font , size 10. The way I see your paper on a doc sheet, you have room for at least 2 more fully developed paragraphs. Well, since you are only posting the paragraphs that we are working on, I think you have enough material to fill an entire page right? From the looks of it, these last 2 paragraphs that you wrote will work very well when integrated with the first few paragraphs that you wrote. Once you put the essay altogether, it will already be in its final form. So you are done with this essay. Good work with the revisions. You really came through.
Thank you so much for your time