'I found my favorite area' - SoP- Phd in Antropology

Hello everybody,
I am Brazilian and I am applying to get a scholarship from the brazilian government with the help of LASPAU. So, I wrote this SoP to persuade the selection committee that I am a good candidate! I wrote a general SoP, because now it is just a pre-selection after this I will write a specific one for each university that I will choose. So, If everyone can help with comments!

SoP:

I decided to pursuit a career as researcher and teacher when I was halfway through my degree in Biology at the Brasilia University, Brazil. During this period, I had the opportunity to deal with teachers who occupied different positions in college and developed several projects. I used to observe my teachers and I could participate in those projects, in addition to the classroom. So, this dynamic of the university won me over and I perceived that I would like to work in academic area. Following my decision, right after graduation, I did my Master's degree and now I want to do my PhD. The PhD will be an important step to prepare me for my dreams career.

I was always very curious, dynamic and observing person, features witch I consider essential for a scientist. In graduation I got an integrated view of Science that is another important skill. I performed internships in several areas of biology during the first semester, and in this time I could improve my knowledge developing a solid foundation in general aspects.

Besides internships, I realized different activities offered by university. I became one of the leaders of the "Academic Centre of Biology Students" whom is the student's representation in academic. I developed skills of leadership, communication, decision-making and innovation. Working as a team with the other directors, we created projects led by and for students, like cycles of lectures, discussion groups and students assembles, every week. As representant of the students I had to attend meetings at Biology Institute. So, it let me know how the university structure is and was very good, since I want to work at this area.

I was always been interested in zoology and ecology. Although, when I attended two subjects about animal behavior from different departments in the university (psychology and zoology) I found my favorite area. I perceived that is an interdisciplinary field and an integrative of different basic knowledge like evolution, ecology, genetics and physiology. Because of that I became interested even more in this area as I already had this integrated perspective and had wide experience in basic areas.

Beyond these subjects, I attended the "46th Annual Meeting of Animal Behavior Society" held in Brazil in 2009. This is one of the most important meetings of animal behavior. I was delighted with the event and I found myself interested in all conferences. I had the opportunity to improve my English, to update me about researches which was being conducted around the world and about new methods utilized.

Thus, I got a work in the Neuroscience and Behavior Lab when I started working with primates. I started in the lab as an assistant in a research of the physiological influence on behavioral aspects of captive capuchin monkeys. After a year dedicating myself to the project, I became responsible for it and I got a scholarship from CNPQ. I was able to learn how to lead a research, organize data collection, and learn to reconcile working time in the laboratory with learning in the classroom and other academic activities.

I studied several subjects that had field work, and I really liked this type of work. So, I was interested in doing some work with primates in the field. I tried to find a stage in this area, but I did not find in my city. I persisted and I got a short internship in the "Amazon rainforest", with primate behavior in the field. After I finished this stage, my goal was continue working with primates in the field, despite my experience with most animals in captivity.

Thus, I proposed to my current professor in the Neuroscience Laboratory, to guide me in a master's degree with a research with behavioral ecology of primates in the field. Although, this was not exactly the area of expertise of my teacher, she trusted me, and together we entered this challenge. I decided to do it, because it would combine my different interests and it would be something new that I will learn a lot.

I made different contacts to develop my master's research, I asked for help to a professor from the Psychology Institute and to a PhD student from Botany. I worked with the behavior of capuchin monkeys with human influence, a current and important issue, since many primate species are in this situation. I analyzed the influence of availability of natural and anthropogenic foods on animal behavior. During my Master degree I learned all the steps for conducting a research. After I finished the design and methodology, I became the data collection. I led a team of assistants. At this time, I developed the ability to guidance, as advising trainees to develop small works related to my master's degree research. Also during my Master, I participated in the "Brazilian Congress of Primatology" and I realized that several studies are being developed in Brazil, but there are few long-term studies. These studies are essential, especially for primates. Unfortunately, Brazil does not have tradition in this type of research and there are few opportunities for work on it.

After finished the master research, I presented the results at the International Congress of Primatology in Vietnam. I talked with professors from universities in the United States and I realized that those works with important results for conservation of primates came from long-term studies, generally performed by American researchers who have based field research in several tropical countries.

My objective for graduate studies in the United States is become able to integrate a research group that conducts long-term studies with primates. My master degree gave me great satisfaction but also the feeling that I could and needed to do more. So, I believe that the PhD in the USA will be a great contribution to my academic career, because I will expand my knowledge on primate behavior, establish important contacts and eventually bring this type of study to Brazil.

Thanks!

- I decided to pursue ...


- I would to work in the academic...


- my chosen career


- always a very curious, dynamic, and observant person.These are features that I consider...


- I graduated with an ...


- and during this time I improved...


- I participated in different...


- which is the students academic representation


- student assemblies


- a representative of the students I had to attend meetings at the Biology...


- new methods being utilized.



- lab assistant researching the ...


- after a year of dedicating...


- goal was to continue...



- to mentor me in a master's degree project doing research on behavioral...


- something new where I would ...


- asked for help from a professor... and from a student in...


- I worked on ...



- the feeling that I can and need to...

Those are the grammatical errors I spotted that need to be cleaned up in order to make the SOP more professional looking. Overall, you have created a coherent essay that represents your interests, goals, and ambitions quite well. It just needs some tweaking and revising in order to achieve that. Good luck with your application :-)

If you incorporate all of vangiespen's suggestions into your revised essay and then post it again in this thread, I'll offer additional comments.

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