Do not over look me as a candidate for graduate school admissions due to my low GPA. While attending CSUN I did not understand the long lasting effects of what a low GPA would do to me in the future. I was a young man with not a lot of college guidance as I was the first of my family to graduate from a four-year university. At the time I felt as long as I was passing courses I was succeeding in my goal of becoming the first of my family to walk across that stage.
During my four and a half year adventure, I was very much overwhelmed at times, but it is no excuse for my lack of achievement in the classroom. While in college I held a 40hr per week job as a school bus driver, which required me to be at work at 5:30 am. I had to help my family and put myself through college as I grew up in a single parent household, where I was the man of the house. I was also very involved in the social fraternity Tau Kappa Alpha. I held numerous positions in the house such as Social chair, Athletic chair, and finally Vice president my senior year. I was very passionate about sports and my community during my time in the fraternity. I can even say at times it was more important to me than achieving high success in the classroom.
Looking back on that time, I realized that although it is beneficial to have passion in life; it is even more important to have balance. Since graduating from CSUN, I have been able to prove through my work history and professional development that I can balance a full time work load while raising a family, coaching a basketball team, and working in Africa all at the same time. I have received numerous awards in my career such as, the 2007 and 2008 "Certificate of Excellence" award among Retail Banking for being in the top 2% of sales managers in the U.S. Winning awards like that proves that I have the work ethic and determination to excel. More recently I changed career fields to the oil and gas industry. I came in with no previous experience or education and within two years I have excelled in the field and have been called on to train others.
For this reason, my undergraduate GPA is a not good indicator of my intellectual ability. I would respectfully ask that the admission committee consider this when reviewing my application.
Do not over look me as a candidate for graduate school admissions due to my low GPA.
Well.... I feel you need to apply a different tone here. You have a low GPA which is a concern for the grad school and now you are in the position of justifying the reasons for your eligibility. The decision is in their hand and you now need to explain things more tactfully while respecting their concerns.
This sentence sounds like an instruction given to them by you. I feel you need to tone it down.
This is a updated version of the essay
I ask that you not decide to deny me admission to your graduate program due to my low GPA. While attending CSUN I did not understand the long lasting effects of what a low GPA would do to me in the future. I was a young man with little academic guidance as I was the first of my family to attend a four-year university. During my four and a half year adventure, I was very much overwhelmed at times, though I understand that this is no excuse for my lack of focus in the classroom. At the time I felt as long as I was passing courses I was achieving my goal of becoming the first of my family to walk across that stage.
While in college I held a full time job (40 hrs a week) as a school bus driver, which required me to work very strenuous hours. Growing up in a single-parent household meant I was the man of the house at a very young age, and therefore, in addition to putting myself through college, I was moved as well as obligated to help provide for my family. On top of this, despite my employment obligations and time constraints, I held numerous positions in Tau Kappa Epsilon, which is an international social fraternity where I held such positions as social chair, athletic chair, and vice-president. I was also, and continue to be, passionate about sports and involvement in my community, which is why I was also a volunteer with Big Brothers of America for three years during this time as well. I can even say at times these responsibilities were more important to me than earning accolades in the classroom.
Looking back on that time, I realized that although it is beneficial to have passion in life; it is even more important to have balance. Since graduating from CSUN I have been able to prove through my work history and professional development that I can balance a full time work load while raising a family, coaching a basketball team, and working in Africa through the course of a year. I have received numerous awards in my career such as, the 2007 and 2008 "Certificate of Excellence" award among Retail Banking for being among the top 2% of sales managers in the U.S. More recently I changed career fields to the oil and gas industry. I came in with no previous experience or education, and within two years I have advanced in this field and have been called on to train others. Attaining such honors, I believe, is proof that I have the work ethic and determination to excel.
For these reasons, I believe that my undergraduate GPA should not be the focal point of my intellectual ability and educational drive, and I respectfully ask that the admission committee consider this when reviewing my application.
