Please tell me if it's interesting to read, and I am not that great with grammar, please feel free to criticize. Thank you!
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Mrs. Fong woke up at 6 o'clock in the morning, had no time to eat breakfast, and rushed to Paul Hom Asian clinic, a free clinic designated to help underserved Chinese population. She arrived at the clinic only to find that more than 20 people were already lining up. She moved quickly to get in line, and waited patiently for another 4 to 5 hours before being seen by a medical provider. "Thank you so much for helping me." She said in Chinese after the visit as she bowed to both the doctor and me to show her gratitude. The experience of serving the underprivileged patients like Mrs. Fong has triggered and inspired me to choose a career in medicine. By volunteering as an interpreter in the free clinic, I am able to interact with both patients and physicians during the visit. I have gained substantial amount of knowledge and insights by observing, listening, communicating with, and translating for medical providers. What I enjoy and appreciate the most, on the other hand, is the time spent with the patients. From waiting for the doctor to getting a blood draw, I stay and talk with the patients to ease their nervousness. I always get a strong sense of accomplishment after assisting the patients to obtain the medical care they need, but I would like to contribute more by redefining my role as a medical provider to treat and educate patients myself.
My interest in medicine sprouted at the age of 18, when I started to volunteer as a clinical assistant at a primary care clinic. The close relationship between human physiology and body functions fascinated me. I became familiar with medical terminologies and learned how to obtain chief complaints, check vitals, as well as perform electrocardiogram, urine analysis, and glucose testing. I was offered a position two months later as a part time medical assistant while going to college. Working as a medical assistant crystallized each team member's responsibilities in a medical office, and I always enjoy being a medical team player to achieve quality patient care.
After graduating from college, I was offered a full-time medical assistant position in a gastroenterologist's new office. As the only medical assistant in the office, I have established office daily tasks, set up protocols, and become proficient in various office duties such as working collaboratively with other medical offices and hospitals. As patient's volume increased, we started to accept extern students from medical assisting programs. I am assigned a leadership role to train and supervise the externs. The new responsibility drives me to be more detail-oriented as I try to ensure the accuracy of the extern's work. Meanwhile, I am motivated each day by patients' gratitude and recognition of my help. I am also deeply grateful for establishing rapport with many patients who are willing to share their life stories with me.
The key factor that finalized my goal to pursuit a career in physician assistant (PA) was the shadowing experience with Mr. A, a PA who is working for two primary care clinics next to our office. He is a well respected and hard-working health care professional and a great role model for me. I could constantly feel his passion and sense of fulfillment of what he does when I shadowed him. One day, a depressed patient came in to follow up his lab results. He had just lost his job and refused to take anti-depressants. After Mr. A talked to him about his family, friends, and his new puppy, a big smile appeared on the patient's face. I then understood his words, "Being a PA can make positive impact on people's lives, and this is what I love about my job." I am inspired to become a compassionate, sensitive, and zealous PA like him. In addition, I appreciate that PAs can make autonomous decisions while being flexible and versatile. I truly believe my niche lies within the PA profession.
After years of extracurricular and work experiences in medical field, I am prepared to devote myself and make necessary sacrifices to become a PA. Being a medical assistant allows me to understand the importance of each healthcare team member's duties, the frustrations in a fast-paced and hectic clinical environment, and the reward from making positive changes in patients' lives. Being a volunteer in the free clinic enables me to realize the significance of providing accessible, quality healthcare for all members in the community. I believe that PAs will play a pivotal role as the mid-level practitioners with the shortage of physicians under the influence of the Affordable Care Act. I am committed to join fellow PAs and other medical providers to serve the community with my best efforts.
It's interesting to read, but it is very long. Most colleges want the essay to be under 500 words and yours is about 800. I'm not sure about the school you're applying to though, so you should check.
The introduction paragraph is a little confusing. I'm not really sure what you did. Were you a Chinese foreign exchange student?
"J called to tell me his daughter graduated, and V brought me the wonderful news of her being pregnant." Not really necessary, but it's up to you.
The large words like "diffidence" and "copious" seem a little forced. This isn't a research paper, you shouldn't use words that you wouldn't use in your every day life.
It needs a little more work, but it's a good start!
Thank you for your advice. I feel the same about it being too long. I already took some parts away, but I still have lots of work to do :)
I will post the revised version later. If you are still interested, please read it for me again. Thank you so much.
