Hi guys,
I'm in a difficult situation, the deadline is next two days and I need to write two essays, the first one is "In the space provided below, list any honours or awards that you feel are relevant to this application. Include dates and a short description.
Please do not exceed 1750 characters or 25 lines in length"
the second one is "Please list below your outside interests that are not directly related to your university degree.
Please do not exceed 1750 characters or 25 lines."
I need 2 great hooks for both of them. Also, I need your great suggestions for the first essay after having a look on it, Pleeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!
To fulfillment of a big dream I had to divide my life dream into steps that can be achieved gradually. So, my several simple steps toward my goal were to get th highest possible grades in my class to encourage myself in the right way. Successfully, every year in college I was able to worth honor by the dean of Faculty of XXXXXXXX, in the presence of my parents for being the top student, this honor begin in a great celebration in April 2006 in my college for having very good grades for the first year at college.
Consequently, in all of the three years followed (April 2007, April 2008 and after my graduation in Feb. 2009), I was honored for getting a very good grade for the second and third years and getting an excellent grade for the last year.
For the first question, there is no "hook" required or possible. You are asked to list the awards and provide a brief description. From what you wrote, you only got one Dean's award (give formal title) in 2006 (?) and good grades the following 3 years. This is sometimes called Phi beta kappa or Dean's List or Graduation with Excellence, whatever your school formally calls it.
I cannot comment on your second essay as no info was provided. This one is easy - write about your favorite extracurricular interests/activities. The Adcom wants to know what you are like outside of school - this can include community service, sports, hobbies. Choose what you are most passionate about and write about why.
...list below your outside interests that are not directly related to your university degree.-- do they really want just a list? That is strange. It seems that they want a short essay, not just a list.
Start with a theme. Make the them an area of interest that includes your area of study. If your chosen major is biology, describe other interests related to science. If your major is psychology, describe your interests in other types of social science, activism, perhaps alternative medicine... show that your interests all have a common underlying principle.
For the essay you wrote: I think you could make it better by writing a little about the subjects you studied and the insights you gained. At the end of the essay, write one more time about the several steps you took in your methodical process toward success.
:-)
