Hello,
Dear fellow forum members and moderators, i am seeking help in critiquing my essay for graduate admission to M.Sc construction management. I am posting this because i don't have many friends who can do this and i am not really confident about my writing. This forum seems appropriate place to get help from experts as i have seen lot of applicant getting positive feedback for their essay.
I have omitted critical information regarding university and country i am applying to so as to stop plagiarism. Looking forward to you responses. Please not that the application deadline is closing in and i really need to finalize this as soon as possible. Thanks in advance.
Motivation letter for Pursuing M.Sc. Construction Management at XXXX
After my bachelor's degree in architecture at xxxxx University (xxx,India) I have worked in various organizations for my internship as well as professional career. During this time, the interest developed in architecture school has not only been amplified, it has also manifested itself in various forms. Notably, my keen interest in Management in construction and real estate has led me to apply for "M.Sc Construction Management ".
In my bachelor studies I came across number of subjects such as Design, Building construction, Structures and many others. Among them I really enjoyed building construction and design. The building construction classes beautifully complimented the design process. In the ninth semester I studied project management and was really interested in the course content. Since then my desire to study management aspects of architecture and building construction has only grown stronger.
During my employment as an architect the challenges I faced on daily basis were unique and each challenge was a new learning experience. I also noticed that there is certain mismanagement of various aspects of design process. This is especially became evident to me while working with Oasis Designs Inc. on "xxxxx " which is a 4500 acres proposed township project in xxxxx, on the outskirts of xxxx. Although we were landscape and architectural consultants' coordination with other consultants and stakeholders became cumbersome. For example, lack of coordination with survey team led to many revisions in the layout of the road, which delayed the whole project. I believe this unnecessary loss of time and effort could have been avoided if a qualified professional in the form of project manager was managing the project. A good construction project manager has ability to understand the needs of various stakeholders involved and effectively communicate to each to achieve efficiency during design as well as construction stages of the project.
Through these first hand experiences, I came to realise that while developing a design concept is important in built environment and infrastructure design, the management of the design development and its execution on site are of paramount significance. Delays, cost overruns, poor construction quality and poor property management are some of major problems that are plaguing the Real estate and construction sector in India. I wish to acquire the necessary knowledge and expertise in this area through my higher studies at xxxx university which offers "M.Sc. Construction Management ".
Xxx University is one of the world's premier technical Institutions; especially both the partner departments for the CM program, department of architecture and Industrial sciences is consistently ranked among the best. The quality of the teaching staff and state-of-the-art research is exemplary in itself. The medium of instruction being completely in English only add to its appeal. Having said that, I do plan to learn xxxx language if and when I get some leisure time.
While researching for course content of similar graduate programs offered here in India I found that they omit many of the key courses of study from their curriculum as compared to xxx uni. Also, the program itself looked more exam oriented without any real world connections with the industry. This is quite surprising considering the size of the industry and the apparent lack of qualified professionals. Furthermore, out of few master's level programs that are being offered worldwide the one offered at xxxx uni is easily one of the most attractive. It is part of prestigious xxxx federation of three leading institutes. This gives the program an instant worldwide recognition. The program equally focuses on technical and managerial aspects which are worth taking note of.
The specialization within the CM program i.e urban development especially suits me as I have always been fascinated with large scale urban development. For my undergraduate thesis I took up "Redevelopment of xxxxx area", xxxxx. Further in my professional career, I have had chance to work on numerous projects involving multiple stakeholders. Some of them include "xxx TOD" which is India's first transit oriented corridor proposed in the city of xxx and xxxx river front development in the city of xxxx. I hope the graduate studies will help me in acquiring tools and techniques and becomes a foundation for further exploration in this area.
During email communication with fellow students from my country studying at xxxx I received an overwhelmingly positive feedback. I understood that rather than focusing only on clearing examinations, the university encouraged capacity building through self-study and individual research. The fact that the faculty has deep links with real estate and construction industry is another major contributing factor for my decision. This gives a chance to the students to find appropriate internship opportunities and employment after graduation. This balanced approach towards real-world practice, written and oral exams and relevant research has convinced me that studying at xxxx will be the best thing for my career and will help prepare myself to become a knowledgeable and responsible professional.
Apart from academic reasons I also like the fact that xxxx on a whole is a beautiful country. The people seem warm and friendly towards foreign citizens. This is especially holds true in case of xxxx where there is large population of students and professionals from various countries. The city is also home to many industries and is also referred as industrial capital of the xxxx. Having lived and worked in mostly homogenous society here in India, I wish to meet people from different backgrounds to have a broader perspective of life. The rich art and architectural heritage of xxxx is sure to appeal to the architect in me. xxxx, being a part of European Union, will open up whole lot opportunities as a student and as a professional.
Finally, I understand that the program is academically intensive and demands high level of awareness and time management skills. I am willing to take the extra measures in order to carry out the best performance on my responsibilities as student of xxx.
I hope I have presented myself as a able candidate for the graduate program and look forward to your positive response.
Sincerely,
My name
Sagar, please od not refer to email communications with other students in your application essay. That is the worst kind of hearsay recommendation that you can use for this sort of application. It sounds more like you are just taking the word of someone else rather than actually looking into the background of the school and its relevance to your application. In fact, I believe that you should not mention any reason as to why you are considering the school for your application unless specifically required by the application form. If it is not required information, please just remove that and the reference to the environment of the school location. Those are unnecessary pieces of information that don't add to the information as to why your application should be considered instead of the others applying along with you.
Your essay can also be more effective if you remove the paragraph that indicates:
Xxx University is one of the world's premier technical Institutions; especially both the partner departments for the CM program, department of architecture and Industrial sciences is consistently ranked among the best. ...
You don't need to describe the school to the reviewer. He is more familiar with the university than you will ever be. This sort of discussion is just a waste of space. If you remove it, the essay will be shorter, more focused, and deliver only the important and required points of the essay.
By the way, do you have any other instructions for this motivation letter that I should be taking into consideration as I review it?
Sagar, you are right that the university admissions officers want to know why you chose their school. What they do not want to know about, are the generalized reasons for your interest in the university. These general pieces of information include publicly known information about the university such as their ranking, their general programs, their student community, and even, information about their cafeteria. In this case, your statement carries only general information and thus, becomes non-effective in impressing the reviewer. You don't need to remind them of their everyday workplace experiences in your graduate application.
Impressing the reviewer is based upon the way that you depict yourself as having done your homework about the background of the school. For example, tell them you want to attend the university because one of your role models is Prof. X who teaches at the university. Maybe discuss how you heard about an internship program they offer which you feel you will benefit from participating in. Go so far as to discuss their research center and any opportunity to might be able to take from there to help you in further developing the construction field through some research you are interested in. The reviewer needs to read about your enthusiasm to enroll in the university for specific, not general reasons.
