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Imperial College "Concrete Structures" Personal Statement


Eng Phin 6 / 14 6  
Dec 26, 2016   #1
Dear friends,

Please give your review/comment on my essay:

Personal Statement - Concrete Structure Engineering



Millau Viaduct, as the tallest bridge in the world at present, is a structure that pushes Civil Engineering beyond its limit, while successfully creates a positive impact that solves transportation issue by connecting Paris and Spain. It is amazing to see what human can build, and so I am eager to seek the opportunity to translate my creativity and interest in Civil Engineering into solutions for society through constructions that contributes for a better future.

My past two years, working in sub-contractor that focuses on Post-Tensioning and Heavy-Lifting, was filled with abundant experience in several challenging projects. I learned about post-tensioning applications, bridge bearing technology, concrete bridge repair technology, and bridge erection method, including launching-gantry, segment lifter, traveler, and shoring method. Besides technical aspects, as an Engineering Manager in my company, I also learned non-technical skills such as leadership, effective and efficient communication, and coordination between team and between companies. To be exposed to those knowledge and skill in my early career was a great experience for me. My Bachelor Degree in Civil Engineering from Binus University also played as a good foundation in my problem-solving skills. However, I have an urge to seek more knowledge and skills to improve myself.

My intention to take further study emerges when I joined a technical meeting of Semanggi project in 2016. It was a complex curved bridge right in the center of Jakarta. In the meeting, I was amazed by the engineering aspect of the bridge presented by the designer. The topic was mainly on the bridge seismic design. I soon realized that my basic in Civil Engineering Bachelor Degree was not enough to answer all the questions that rose in my mind. I felt challenged, knowing that to be able to contribute to society through construction, there is still a long way to go. Achieving my career dream as a professional who works in solving problem through construction would need me to work harder and prepare myself in facing new knowledge and developments, and also be the part of that development myself.

Heard about Imperial College from my lecturer, which is also an Imperial College alumni, I started to do my own research, only to find out its dedication in providing world-leading research and development in Engineering. MSc programme in Concrete Structure Engineering from Imperial College stands out for me because of its comprehensive and high quality courses. The module that I am most interested is the Design of Bridges, which gives student the knowledge and skill in short/medium/long span bridge concept, designing Bridge based on Eurocode, even to the construction method such as span-by-span construction, cantilever construction, which I was highly involved in my projects also. I believe that my experience in these areas and the materials the course offering will be the key factors for me to bring development and innovation.

For those reasons, I am ready to welcome the opportunity offered by Imperial College, and I am also committed in giving my best to learn and develop myself, and so that I can contribute to the Civil Engineering, and make a better future through innovations and creations.
chizy7 6 / 52 14  
Dec 26, 2016   #2
As far as personal statement is concerned, from what I read and feel, it's in line. You have described a significant experience and you have quite well demonstrated skills you posses while in a position of leadership.

Be more specific about your long-term plan and what you are looking to achieve and just re-read your essay to correct a few errors like your lecturer who is an imperial college alumni and not which is also
OP Eng Phin 6 / 14 6  
Dec 28, 2016   #3
@chizy7
Is it okay to start the essay like that? I thought by sharing one of my favorite structures, and the reasons behind it, I can show to the reader my passion for this field. Do you agree?

I realized that I haven't finished the long-term plan for this essay. I will add it. Thank you.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Dec 28, 2016   #4
Eng, your personal statement accidentally includes a second paragraph which is better suited for your motivation essay, if one is required of you. A personal statement is only supposed to introduce the overview of your educational background, work experience, and interest in enrolling Imperial College. The reason that you chose this major and other information, should be contained only in the relevant common app prompt. So your essay should only contain paragraphs 1, 3, 4, and a longer version of paragraph 5. Since paragraph 5 is supposed to reiterate your desire to attend the college during the upcoming term. BTW, do not add a long term plan to a personal essay. That is more for the statement of purpose, not for the personal statement. Only provide relevant information per prompt. There is no sense in adding long term plans here because that does not introduce you and your background to the reviewer. This is only the first of many common app essays that you will be writing. The long terms plan will fit into one of the later discussions for sure.
OP Eng Phin 6 / 14 6  
Dec 29, 2016   #5
@Holt
Dear Holt,

I just want to confirm. Do you mean by motivation essay part is the 3rd paragraph? Because I write about the reason I wanted to take further study in that paragraph. Or did I miss your point? Please advise. Thank you very much.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Dec 29, 2016   #6
Eng, I analyzed your essay before I wrote the advice that I previously gave you. That is why I was able to tell you which specific parts of your essay you can just take out of the original one in order to create a better and more informative essay that will best suit the prompt requirements. The parts of the essay that do not really belong in the discussion are not included in the paragraph count because those are supposed to be removed from the revised essay. So in answer to your question, paragraph 3 will remain in the essay so you don't need to worry about it. It is an important part of the essay. Just put together the paragraphs I mentioned and the new essay will take very good shape and meaning for you that you can better use with your application.


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