MS in Industrial Engineering, statement of purpose

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

My fascination for manufacturing began in high school when I often pondered about companies that churned out inch perfect cars with seamless precision. My undergraduate studies equipped me with diverse, yet essential concepts of manufacturing such as engineering design, production technology, operations management, and their related IT packages. Consistently excelling at math since high school, I enjoyed subjects that incorporated arithmetical application. I also made conscious choices to take advantage of courses and projects, often beyond the prescribed curriculum.

My first tryst with cutting edge technology was during my Industrial Training at ___, with an intense orientation to processes, product cycles and quality control in a high precision manufacturing environment. I also completed a mini design project of a "Rice Popping" machine at ___, culminating in its fabrication which was immensely gratifying. As the secretary of the IIPE student chapter I followed developing manufacturing trends through journals, industry visits, conferences and interactions with renowned academic authorities and practicing professionals.

My mentor Dr. V.R inspired me to learn about Lean Manufacturing in depth during my final year project at an assembly cell in _____Ltd. Here, I was able to apply higher IE concepts of Value Stream Mapping, '2-bin' Kanban Systems and Cellular Manufacturing to optimize productivity and inventory control. While researching a Poka-Yoke solution, I also grasped other TPS concepts through publications by Shingeo Sheigo. The essence of Kaizen I gathered, was that the sooner a shop floor accepted the fundamental principle of change and learnt how to use it to its advantage, the more efficient it would become. Deriving engineering solutions using my understanding of production systems sparked my interest in this field and I realized that it represented my calling.

Consequently, I accepted a position at ______, a wind turbine rotor manufacturer, being one of the 8 chosen among 400+ applicants. I was trained by consultants to implement the "__ Production System", which involved the use of VSM, Fishbone diagrams and Gantt charts to quantitatively measure and model systems for streamlining the blade moulding shop floor. I also understood how to overcome some common manufacturing challenges while driving Six Sigma projects for cycle time and laminate defect reduction. Though an unexpected economic crisis forced my abrupt departure from the company, I am satisfied that I developed skills to design a lean environment, and gained valuable exposure to global manufacturing best practices.

I have since spent my time building on my engineering design skills in Catia and Ansys to deal with real life manufacturing problems in the future. I have also chosen to make a positive impact in the lives of underprivileged children by volunteering at _____, an NGO, as a core team leader and content developer for a remedial education program.

The school of ____ is a thriving hub for manufacturing systems knowledge and _____University, being a premier academic institution offers a fecund academic environment for imbibing its principles. Having gained solid practical knowledge, I now want to investigate the application of advanced simulation techniques to facilities layout optimization problems. Quality graduate level courses taught by world-class faculty will equip me to realize my ultimate goal of establishing myself at the forefront of R&D in Continuous Improvement applied to manufacturing scenarios.

I am particularly interested in the research activities of Dr. ______ and the Virtual Factory Laboratory. I am in great anticipation of using the systems approach and relevant skill sets that that I have derived from my professional experiences and academic preparation to make fruitful contributions to the school of ____. I look forward to a long and mutually beneficial relationship with ______.

1)Does it sound too much of a narrative on the lines of a CV?
2)Have i conveyed the message that my professional experiences and projects and academic preparation make me suited for this course?
3)word count is 900ish. will someone be bored reading this?
4) some Universities have asked for a 500 word essay. where do i start trimming this one? what should i leave out?
5) One particular university has asked for a personal statement in addition to the SOP

"Personal Statement (Some suggested topics for your personal statement are:)
volunteer and/or community service;
extra-curricular activities;
leadership activities;
educational, cultural, geographic or socio-economic background underrepresented in your discipline of graduate study;
financial hardship;
first generation U.S. citizen or first generation in family to graduate from a four-year college"

I was of the opinion that an SOP and a personal statement is the same thing.. any thoughts?

Hope you will help me out!
Thanks in advance.
Ranjit

have i wronged in protocol? why am i being ignored?

Ranjit,
One of the ways you can get feedback quicker is to help out others who have posted their essays on the forum.

Some suggestions on your essay:


I think you are using the word "perfect" here a bit too much. Using it in the same sentence and practically side-by-side is probably not a great idea. Maybe you can substitute inch "perfect" with another word?


What I found to be most appealing...


comma after "such as"


Comma after "chapter"


Comma after "here"


Need "." b/w Sheigo and This.


allowed me TO further...also, im pretty sure you didn't learn to play the German language :)...sentence sounds a little out of sorts...maybe: "play the sitar and persue a long time interest in studying German"

Regarding SOP vs. Personal Statement question:

SOP is usually a little less "personal"...i think your current one is actually a pretty good representation of what a statement of purpose should look like. It should concentrate more on your academic achievements/relevent practical experience and goals for the future.

Personal Statement is designed to give the admissions commitee a chance to get to know YOU - the person behind the list of achievements...its through the Personal statement that you can allow your personality to really shine.

Other than the significant academic contributions, what unique perspectives, life experiences etc. will you also bring to their program?

Hope this helps.

Good Luck and please read over other people's essays!

thanks SP_10!
I'm new here and I had no clue I'll get right on that.

Honestly I'm no authority on writing essays so I'm not sure I can edit any of them, but I'll give it a shot.

Anyone else from a grad school background, please feel free to comment.

@moderators/anyone else

One particular university has asked for a personal statement in addition to the SOP

"Personal Statement (Some suggested topics for your personal statement are:)
volunteer and/or community service;
extra-curricular activities;
leadership activities;
educational, cultural, geographic or socio-economic background underrepresented in your discipline of graduate study;
financial hardship;
first generation U.S. citizen or first generation in family to graduate from a four-year college"

I was of the opinion that an SOP and a personal statement is the same thing..what should I change in my SOP to make it a personal statement?

Ha ha, you were not being ignored; I'm sorry it took a while to get some responses. For some reason, lots of people have joined this site lately and we had trouble keeping up for the past few weeks.

I think this should be the beginning of paragraph 2:
My undergraduate studies have given me the necessary foundation from which to build on and prepare for the enormous challenges of this field. My curriculum equipped me with diverse, yet essential concepts of...

I think the end of paragraph 1 should have a powerful sentence that clearly and confidently expresses your PURPOSE, your well-developed plan... this will be the most important sentence of the essay, because it will establish the reader's main impression of the essay. At the end of that first para, express your plan for college and career (capture it as well as you can in a single sentence.)

:-)

This is very impressive. I just see one sentence that seems out of place:

I am particularly interested in the research activities of Dr. ______ and the Virtual Factory Laboratory. ----- I don't think this should be the first sentence of your conclusion paragraph. I think this should be in a different paragraph.

Maybe you can move that sentence and put all of this together:

...applied to manufacturing scenarios. I am particularly interested in the research activities of Dr. ______ and the Virtual Factory Laboratory. I am waiting in enthusiastic a nticipation of using the systems approach and relevant skill sets that that I have derived from my professional experiences and academic preparation to make fruitful contributions to the school of ____. I look forward to a long and mutually beneficial relationship with ______.

Thanks so much EF_Kevin, will make all the changes you suggested. You and your team are doing a great job! Kudos!