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Inspiration on becoming a Teacher (experiences academics/extracurricular activities)


DMiss 1 / -  
Jan 9, 2011   #1
I am applying to the graduate program at the University of Maryland for Education. I am not a strong writer and would love someone to revise my paper and tell me if its okay or not! Thanks yall!

A couple of weeks ago I contacted my third grade teacher to personally thank her for her dedication to her profession. Everyday in third grade I was eager and excited to go to school because Ms. Zigethi made learning fun. People ask me everyday what made me interested in teaching, I reply my third grade teacher. I believe children learn best in a welcoming and warm environment, Ms. Zigethi provided that for each and every student and I hope to do the same. As I started my undergraduate studies I found myself thinking back to third grade. As I entered into my fieldwork and methods courses for elementary education, I felt the passion that those teachers that I volunteered with and worked hand in hand with had, and I could see that the students within those classrooms also felt the atmosphere the teacher created.

As a teacher I know there is never an end to learning. Whether it's something you learn from a co-worker, a professor of a graduate program or even your own student in your classroom, there is always more room to grow in teaching. The decision to continue my education by pursuing my master's degree in education was always something I knew I was going to do, I just didn't know what school would help me strive and continue to fulfill my goals. I chose University of Maryland's education program because of the quality of the academic program and my interest in growing academically and socially as a teacher.

In my four years of Undergraduate studies I have strived for academic excellence. I have consistently done well and graduated with a cumulative grade-point average of 3.22. In addition, I was awarded Academic Distinction in 2008-2009, and was on the Dean's List in Spring 2009, and the Dean's List with distinction in Fall 2009 with a 4.0 grade point average. In the field of Education I had a professional GPA of 3.9. In my eyes grades don't tell a person, especially when it comes to teaching. With teaching, you could have received all straight A's through High School and College but that second you get in front of a class full of eager children ready to learn, how to respond to that makes you a successful teacher. In the past 4 years my fieldwork and teaching experiences have provided me the opportunity to be prepared to pursue a Graduate degree at The University of Maryland's large, diverse institute.

At the University of Arizona, I was provided with the opportunity to work in multiple elementary classrooms and student taught in a multicultural first grade classroom. Within my 6 months of student teaching I had many effective and satisfying experiences along with many challenging experiences that I was able to overcome and learn from. In each classroom setting I was in, I was able to work hand in hand with many experienced qualified teachers. I attempted to main the atmosphere of the classrooms when I implemented my lessons. I wanted to make learning fun and memorable for these students. One of the things I implemented into my daily schedule while teaching the first graders was a hidden animal. Everyday after lunch I would hide a paper animal somewhere in the classroom and the students would have to find it. Once the students found it I would ask a daily enrichment question and they would all write the answer on a piece of paper. Finding this animal was the highlight of my first graders day. This experience was meaningful to me because not only did it show in the students eyes and expressions that they loved coming in to school everyday to find this animal but it also implemented curriculum within the questions, and the students didn't even seem to notice that they were learning because they were having so much fun.

This past summer I had the opportunity to work with At-Risk students in a summer school setting in Lower Manhattan, New York. This program was one of the most rewarding teaching experiences. I was able to see the daily progress of these students within a short amount of time. The first day I walked into the classroom I was probably more scared than those 14 children sitting in front of me were. One particular student caught my attention on that first day. He didn't talk at all and had trouble socially but when somebody attended to him he knew how to get his work done. I would help him with his daily math and he would follow along but wouldn't speak. As the weeks passed he would start making noises but never spoke full words. One day during morning work he came up to me and said "Miss Dawn can you help me?" Quickly a smile came upon my face. To see that he was coming out of his shell and comfortable enough to approach me and ask for help was very meaningful to me. I hope as I continue teaching and furthering my learning I have many more encounters with students that not only touch my life but that I can also make an impact on their lives. I know that the completion of a master's degree will allow me to deepen my knowledge in the field of education and prepare me for opportunities to impact students lives like my third grade teacher impacted my life.

I grew up in New York with 2 older sisters and a younger brother. My mom and dad both have big families who hold all types of professions but I am the first in my family to decide to go into teaching. I went to a small private school on Long Island in which I was able to contribute to the community and get involved. I believe teaching isn't only a profession but it becomes a lifestyle. I hope not only to be able to teach a group of students but also get involved in a school community with extracurricular activities. I am the first person to pursue a higher education in Graduate School and hope that not only will I receive one Master Degree but also I hope to continue my education once I complete my first Master's Degree in Education. I believe that I would be able to make a positive contribution to your diverse academic community with my passion and drive for success.

Creativity is a needed quality when it comes to teaching. My initiative and ability to develop new ideas, lessons, and activities to do with students is strong. I love coming up with fun and intriguing lessons to not only teach the students but to make sure they understand what they are being taught. I know UMD's graduate program can help me continue to be creative and develop new ideas for my future. Determination is one of my best qualities. When I want to do something, I won't give up until I have completed it. Determination goes hand in hand with achieving my goals for my future. My first goal would be to be able to attend the University of Maryland's Graduate Program to reach a Master's Degree in Elementary Education. Once I complete that degree I hope to continue my education and reach a Master's Degree in Special Education. My ideal future holds me continuing my education and receiving numerous degrees in order to reach my highest potential and hopefully one day become a Principal of a School. As a teacher, I am a leader and hope to lead my students to strive for success. I hope to be that teacher that students come back to thank for having an impact on their lives 14 years after being in their class.

I'm confident that, if admitted to the University of Maryland's graduate program I will be successful academically and can greatly contribute to the diverse community of your school in a positive way. Not only will a Master's degree help me achieve my goals but it will also help me enhance my education in the field of teaching. I strive everyday to be the best person I can be and continuing my education at the University of Maryland will help me achieve my goals for my future. My past experiences in academics and extracurricular activities have given me the experience to be a positive asset to the Department of Education and also the University of Maryland as a whole. Thank you for taking the time to read my application and consider me as a future graduate student. I look forward to attending the University of Maryland as a Graduate Student in Fall 2011.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 12, 2011   #2
Look for places you can omit a word. That is like trimming weeds out of the garden:
personally thank her for her dedication to her profession.---You have to ask yourself if the sentence is better with 'personally' or without it, and personally I think it is better without it. ;-)

Again, ask yourself if the sentence is stronger with or without 'every day.' ----People ask me everyday what made me interested ----Also, if you do want to include 'every day,' include it as 2 words, not one.

As I continue to read, I see that you do write well! The great thing right now is that I think I know how to bring you to the next level with your skill. You should work on "tightening up" your writing style by revising out at least 10% or 20% of the words. That is how to build intensity:

As a student with the University of Arizona, I was provided with the opportunity to work had the opportunity to work ...-----Try to find ways to reduce the amount of words a reader needs to cognitively process. That is how to hit them hard with your meaning.

Here is another sentence that I think uses up too many of your words:
Creativity is a needed quality when it comes to teaching. ---I think you can express this idea in half the amount of words. Or, actually, the way I think you should work with this sentence is not to eliminate words but to add meaning. Try revising this sentence so that is expresses an idea that might give the reader a new insight... try revising the sentence so that it expresses a clever, unique insight into the importance of creativity in teaching.

And lets trim away some excess here, too:
I'm confident that if admitted to the University of Maryland's graduate program I will be successful -----For every phrase, ask yourself what it contributes to the experience you are trying to give the reader.

:-)


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