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This essay is about letter of intent for my graduate studies in Canada - Masters in Education

Naz123 1 / -  
Apr 26, 2019   #1

Every child deserves a champion

In 2017, I once came across Rita Pearson's Ted Talks: 'Every kid needs a champion', and the best lines that plugged my conscience was when she stated, "Every child deserves a champion: an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists they become the best they can possibly be." I pronounced that I want to be that champion to my students who belong to the thresholds of 21st Century, the age that is so promising to the learners that compels educators to understand their creative capabilities beyond the set curriculum rather than pushing them within the boundaries of curriculum and learning. It is obvious that they must be the torch bearers of the future overpowering technology and set discipline knowledge and empathy to prosper in the global community. Coping up with today's educational system none of my classes went unprepared with content and resources, yet when it came to dealing with students' behaviour, knowledge and communication, somehow I lacked certain cognizance to establish the core values and motivation strategies. I failed to comprehend the student psychology in order to motivate and leading them towards their goal despite uncountable researches and implementations of many. Later I realised that no matter how standardised the curriculum may be culture shapes a human being. Thus, I decided to navigate myself to perceive culture other than mine to closely evaluate empathy, values and educational culture in terms of leadership. This necessitated my intent to dedicate my time for higher studies in Masters in Education which I believe would immensely help me to understand educational philosophy and shape my future career.

I truly believe that I will contribute positively to the program and to my graduation life. Besides, I am certain about the qualities that I have to successfully complete my higher study in Canada. I understand the demand of teaching job and on pursuing this course from an enriched country like Canada, I can stay ahead of my colleagues and effectively handle 21st generation youth minds.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Apr 26, 2019   #2
Your essay had a creative approach to showcasing your intention. Still, I would rather prefer that you try to minimize this - and instead allocate your creativity in trying to be more descriptive about things. I have noticed that a chunk of your text were quite not-so-straightforward attempts to establishing your goals; you should instead try to be more specific about what your goals are, how you want to change the way that you teach in the future, and then try your best to give vivid examples of how you want to project your values to these children. Once you have accomplished this, I think that your essay will be much more wholesome in establishing your goals to the evaluators.

The introduction, I think, is brilliant. I would only suggest that after mentioning the quotation that you placed in the beginning, you should create a separate paragraph for explaining your intent and goals. Furthermore, I would also recommend that you try to incorporate more specific examples. Say, for instance, as you are discussing a lack of core values and motivation strategies, it would be helpful if you could be specific about what these are and how you wish to change them. If you are discussing a specific type of educational culture, it would be beneficial if you can expound through examples how this plays out in real life. Remember that evaluators love it if you can pay in-depth attention to detail; prove that you know what you are talking about.

In terms of that last paragraph, I would recommend that you try to indulge the evaluators a little bit more on why you have chosen this country and the university. What makes Canada stand out? What does Canada have to offer that your home country (assuming you are not Canadian) cannot? What excites you about the teaching style in this country?

Just try to incorporate more details, and you'll be alright. Best of luck.

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