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'My interest in Energy' - statement of purpose; University of Texas, Austin


SkyrexA 1 / -  
Sep 2, 2014   #1
In highchool I was taught that energy is the ability to do work, and workdone equals the product of force applied to an object and the distance which it moves. Matter contains at least one form of energy-be it potential, sound, or kinetic energy. When work is done energy is transformed from one form to another. In terms of reusability, energy can be classified as Renewable and Non-Renewable. The industrial era was mainly catalyzed by the usage of fossil fuels, particularly coal, for production and transportation of machineries and other finished goods. In recent times petroleum and its byproducts have been majorly used to power engines needed to implement daily activities. Experts either speculate we are either approaching or have reached a period of maximum petroleum extraction. This necessitates the creation of new energy systems and remodeling of extant systems in order to attain reasonably higher efficiencies in energy conversion. My ultimate objective is to contribute to these efforts through my career as a Petroleum Engineer.

As a little kid, my dad helped me discover my strengths in physical science and mathematics. This equipped me with skill set needed for thinking through, and analytically finding solutions to problems. Through the years, as problems became more complex, my problem-solving and other relevant skills were refined in order to deduce a most appropriate solution to a particular problem. Honing my skills brought me a step closer to realizing my career interests. I chose chemical engineering because of my fascination of conversion of raw materials into finished/semifinished goods. The use of the basic material balance equation to solve a broad range of practical engineering problems (which are often inextricably intertwined with economic constraints) in various subfields of chemical engineering also enticed me.

My interest in energy was engendered in my Thermodynamics course, where I learnt about the behaviors of several types of heat engines. Earth's atmosphere and hydrosphere can be viewed as a heat engine inthat they continuously even out solar heating disparities through evaporation of surface water, rainfall and convection, when distributing heat around the globe. My interest climaxed in an environmental protection class, where the consequence of our industrial habits as well as human lifestyles on the environment was prime objective. The necessities of sustainable practices and green development were also discussed. Progress has been made in efforts to improve petroleum extraction processes; however there is a lot more to be accomplished. I am particularly fascinated by Professor Mojdeh Delshad's research into enhanced oil recovery and modeling naturally fractured oil reservoirs, and it is my desire to work with her while at the University.

There is no doubt that undergraduate study plays an important role in preparing a student for the fundamentals of a subject. Over the course of years as undergraduate, relevant courses such as Kinetics, Plant Design, Heat and Mass Transfer, and Chemical Process Calculations were undertaken. While these courses helped me learn various theoretical concepts and methods, they only gave me a broad appreciation of the field. Graduate study is vital for me to concentrate on my interest which is a key step in starting my professional life. In the long run, I wish to contribute to the study and development of technologies that tackle prominent issues of energy inefficiency and its environmental effects within the petroleum industry, thus forming overall advancement. Hence, it is essential that I seek the best of schools in furthering my education.

I do not only seek admission into University of Texas, Austin with hopes of transforming into a product of a devoted college; but also seek admission with the intent of integrating available information relevant to my career. I am poised that given admission, I would persist with a drive to perform excellently in research, analysis, teamwork, interpersonal skills among other secondary abilities to my field.

I have overcome a few obstacles of academic life and hope to conquer more. I look to University of Texas, Austin for support in accomplishing such a remarkable mission in reaching a highpoint of my career as a student. A graduate degree from the University will undoubtedly put me at the position to follow my course and fulfill my dreams of leaving behind a happier world.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 2, 2014   #2
- Don't lecture the admissions officers on a topic that they are already more than familiar with. Find another way to introduce your passion for the course you are applying for.

As a little kid, my dad helped me discover my strengths in physical science and mathematics.

- This could be a very good introductory statement.

My interest in energy was engendered in my Thermodynamics course, where I learnt about the behaviors of several types of heat engines.

- I developed an interest in Petroleum Engineering through my studies in Thermodynamics where I in turn, learned about the...

Earth's atmosphere and hydrosphere can be viewed as a heat engine inthat they continuously even out solar heating disparities through evaporation of surface water, rainfall and convection, when distributing heat around the globe.

- You are lecturing the screening officer again. Bad idea.

Progress has been made in efforts to improve petroleum extraction processes; however there is a lot more to be accomplished./quote]
- Excellent statement!
[quote=SkyrexA]While these courses helped me learn

- You have a tendency to lecture your reader, you have to avoid coming across as a know it all in the eyes of the admissions reviewer.

- While courses in Kinetics (continue the list of courses) helped me learn...

I am poised that given admission , I would persist with a drive to perform excellently in research, analysis, teamwork, interpersonal skills among other secondary abilities to my field.

- This is a strong statement. Don't weaken it by assuming you might not get in.

I have overcomea few obstacles of academic life and hope to conquer more

Overall just a few corrections and revisions are necessary to further strengthen you already strong statement of purpose. I look forward to reading your 2nd draft :-)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 2, 2014   #3
In highchoolhigh school I was taught that energy is the ability to do work, and work- done equals the product of force applied to an object and the distance which it moves. Matter contains at least one form of energy, be it potential, sound, or kinetic energy. When work is done when energy is transformed from one form to another.

Well, this sounds like a lesson on physics. I think this not a good approach for your SOP. The admin guys are not really interested in knowing these subject matters. They are more interested in learning what sort of a personality you've got. :(
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 3, 2014   #4
SkyrexA, I found just a few errors that we can correct to add strength to the paper. I hope you won't mind having to edit again.

Experts either speculate we are either approaching or have reached a period of maximum petroleum extraction.

remodeling of extant systems

- extinct systems...

in order to attain reasonablyhigher efficiencies in energy conversion .

- In order to attain reasonably higher energy conversion efficiency .

- That was an excellent introduction :-)

with skill set needed

- with developing the skill set...

to deduce a most appropriate

- ... to produce the most ...

because of my fascination of conversion of raw

- my fascination with the conversion of raw...

was prime objective.

- was discussed as a major concern for science and therefore solving it is a prime objective.

Aside from the few adjustments that I am suggesting, your overall paper is quite strong and informative about your desire to enter college and your future career plans. If I were to consider this a practice essay, I would give it 12 out of 12 :-) As far as I am concerned, this is definitely the paper you should submit for your application :-)
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 4, 2014   #5
This equipped me with developing the skill set needed for thinking through, and analytically finding solutions to problems.

- I believe the sentence sounds better this way.
Aside from that one editing note, your essay looks good to go. It is concise and delivers your desire to study at the university, what you hope to achieve during your academic career, and your future plans in a manner that shows a clear educational and career path for you. Good luck with your application :-)


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