Prompt : This is your academic statement. It should include a description of why you want to study your proposed subject field, why you want to study at UC Berkeley, and how our program can help you achieve your professional goals.
[My essay starts here]
My interest in urban studies emerged by accident. It was sometime in early June of 2010 when one of my professors asked me to participate in the upcoming joint studio workshop that was still lacking of participant because most students were away from campus for holiday break. Neither my colleagues nor I had expected to take part in this workshop before, because I knew that there were more competent students that deserve to take the chance. Moreover, I was not familiar with the subject since I had never taken any urban study class before. However, after having a discussion and an explanation from my professor, I decided to take the chance and do my best.
It was an international joint studio workshop initiated by [University A] in collaboration with [University B] and [University C], which concerned in urban studies along the North Coast of [City A]. It was my first exposure to urban studies although I had worked on community engagement project before in the similar part of [City A]. I learned to examine the intersection of extreme environmental circumstances, the inundation effects to urban and architectural composition. Together with my team, we conducted intensive site-based researches, made visual analyses, and then produced images and design proposals that respond to the specific issues through specific context. This studio gave me a strong motivation to learn more about urban circumstances and lean how it related to architecture and people's everyday life.
I voluntarily offered to participate in other joint studio workshops because of this new enthusiasm. I also helped my professor's research that focused on urban study and continued to participate in several community engagement projects. I realized that after the first joint studio workshop, I had been trying to involve in architecture practice that pays attention to the community development. I saw this as my way to understand how urban circumstances affect them. As a result I found out that those experiences were different from what I learned during my undergraduate studios. They gave me new methods of thinking and analyzing; as well as evolved my soft skill in community approaching, language, presentation, and teamwork.
In my final year, I decided to conduct my undergraduate thesis research in an urban street of Greater [City A]. I studied about how [A Citizens], particularly in [Region A], developed a method to deal with congested and chaotic streetscape while trying to accomplish their objective in a public space. The study used timespace mapping and qualitative surveys data to observe how these methods developed, used, and become a general understanding for them to form informal rules in public space. This research was my respond to the government mismanagement of pedestrian paths specifically in [City A]. Certainly, I am pleased with my works during undergraduate time, especially my thesis. But I have to emphasize that at the heart of my narrow research focus, lays a more general interest in the potentials of [Country] cities.
Prior to my graduation, I found myself having a strong desire to choose a specialized field. Although I got accepted to continue the architecture professional program after my graduation, I eventually opted to take a year off to get wider perspective on what I want to be. Subsequently, I got an offer to work for three months with my former undergraduate thesis adviser to form a project proposal for rural development that focused on slum prevention in the outskirt of [City A]. Based on my work experiences in urban areas as well as in rural area, I proposed to build a healthy connection between urban and rural by first building a strong community and economy as its foundation. However, I thought that my lack of knowledge in urban planning limited me in providing a practical and grounded scheme of design. This is why I need to learn more about city planning. Thus, at this moment, I decided to take master degree in city planning with an emphasis on community and economic development.
[University D]'s Master of City Planning program, offers an opportunity to specialize in areas that I favor. Honestly, even before I decided to continue my education to the next level, [University D] had already become the dream school of every architecture student in my school. It is because several notably professors from my faculty were alumni from there, also a lot of our reference books were written by its faculty. One of them is my favorite; a book entitled [Book Tittle]. The book introduces me to significant perspective on how to perceive geographical economic of urban informalities. Knowing that both of the authors, Professor [Name A] and Professor [Name B], are faculty advisers at area of concentration that I am interested in, I became more motivated to study there and believe that nothing can compare the experience to share thoughts with the people I really admire.
I believe being a student at [University D], particularly in City and Regional Planning program will narrow down my specialties in urban studies. Beyond my status as a student there, it will open vast opportunity for me to participate on one of its distinguished project, the [Project Name] which I am a huge fan of. Their areas of work are great interest to me and I am looking forward to know and work with them. The opportunity to learn in an international environment and to collaborate with fellow students from various fields and backgrounds will expand my knowledge and provides me a new perspective which I would rarely meet if I continue my education in [Country]. I believe the opportunity and the experience will benefit me in my analytical and critical thinking, as well as my designing skill. Finally, I believe this opportunity will be the foundation of my future career as a professional planner back in my home country [Country].
[My essay ends here]
I hope to get a critics not only about the content and the grammar, but also the content, anything like cliche, unnecessary sentence, redundancy, overuse word and self-reference, anything, and also I felt that my opening is so weak, I hope an advice. Thanks for any response in advance :)
