ISB YLP essay 1-Your role in a team that made a significant contribution to the organization/college

Tell us about your role in a team that made a significant contribution to the organization/college. (300 words max)

Guys, this is almost the final draft. How does it come across to you :)

leading a team of 120 volunteers

Success often has less to do with skill and more to do with the privileges we unconsciously enjoy. Growing up, my parents made me aware of my privileges in the hope that one day, I could give back to the society and help reduce the gap in opportunities. I got my chance during college, when I joined an organisation called Make A Difference. MAD focuses on providing education for children in shelter homes across India. My journey started as a volunteer, teaching mathematics to nine children every week. Working with passion and dedication towards the cause and the organization, I was soon promoted to the role of a mentor.My new responsibilities included guiding a team of twelve volunteers. I conducted meetings and debriefs after every class to track the progress of both students and volunteers. I was also present on-site for every class, to ensure smooth functioning of our programme at the shelter home. My strategy was to ask the right questions to help the volunteers arrive at their own solutions, instead of just mollycoddling them.

I believe I played the role of an enabler, helping my team become self-sustained and independent. 10th standard is a critical stepping stone in a child's education, so we went the extra mile for the 10th graders. Over 90% of them passed. We were overjoyed to have achieved it as a team.

After two years of working in MAD, I have been given the responsibility of an "Education Support Fellow" for Vellore. My role is to lead a team of 120 volunteers to achieve the goal I first mapped out - to actually make a difference.

Supreet, don't mention the second group anymore because you are only being asked to represent one organization or college in the essay. Since you don't have enough characters remaining to develop an explanation about that group, it is best to just focus all of the word allotment on the group you already presented. You need to develop the portion that pertains to the exam that the 10th graders took. Explain how you led the team to train the students and prepare them for the test. What do you believe your most pivotal role was during the exam preparation? Why do you think that qualifies as your most significant contribution to the group at that time? Just develop that portion because I believe it needs to be better presented because of the way that it connects to your leadership and influencing skills within the group. By the way, after you introduce the group name in full, you need to make a short reference to the fact that it is called "MAD" by most people. That way, when you first make reference to the acronym, the reviewer will not be shocked by it and wonder what you are talking about.