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Job market - Personal Statement (apply for graduate school in the UK)

oneouran 6 / 13 4  
Jul 11, 2019   #1
I appreciate for all advice!

my interest to obtain this degree

I am applying for a master's degree in {xxxxxx} as I believe this degree will set me in good stead for my future career. Recently I have taken on an internship opportunity at {xxxxx}; this experience arouses my interests in the world of commerce and industry. I have researched this career deeply and I wish to upgrade my academic knowledge and soft skills at the University of {xxxxxx}. I am convinced that studying this subject at your prestigious institution will help me reach my goal and become more competitive and successful.

Currently, I am a master's student at {xxxxxx} University in Accounting. In a class I took in college, called Financial Statement Analysis and Research, the professor asked us to analyse a company's growth prospects, and forecast its value. Without prior practical experience, this was initially very challenging. To gain insight into this company's financial structure and industry outlook, I gathered financial information from the company's annual report and spent extra effort to search for relevant business reports to evaluate the company's operational condition. Through numerous conversations and discussions, I integrated my collective knowledge and successfully completed this project.

Even though I was successful in completing this assignment and gained positive feedback from the professor, I learned from the case study that real-world business situations are far more complicated than class projects due to the degree of difficulty in gathering unbiased information. As a result, I am eager for the opportunity to gain more experience regarding the real market in my chosen career.

During an internship at {xxxxx}, I was working for various clients and managing plenty of documents. Through this internship, I realized the importance of excellent communication skills. It is necessary for everyone possesses great written and communication skills. Clients view us as the experts on the subject matter; therefore, we should always ensure that we communicate our opinions effectively and put our best effort to help them deal with difficulties.

I am enthusiastic about addressing problems for people or society. This summer I have participated in a programme called SATU SMART 2.0, which is about solving pressing issues such as water contamination or air pollution. Participants from different countries were put into groups and worked together to conduct this project. From this programme, I was able to sharpen my listening skills and also learn how to be a good team player. For example, we normally have different ideas in our discussions. In this case, it is essential that we can express our own opinions in a well-manner way and accept others politely at the same time.

I look forward to setting myself new challenges and building upon my existing experience, which will hopefully help me achieve my ambition of being an outstanding consultant. By studying overseas, I will gain precious life experience such as learning how to organize my life, handling unforeseen situations, being independent and self-sufficient. As for the reasons why I choose the UK as my study destination are that UK universities have an impressive international reputation and rank among the best in the world. Besides, English is the most important skill in today's global business arena. Speaking English fluently can greatly improve my job prospects.

My attraction to the degree as well as my suitability to the career is clear. The programme at the University of {xxxxx} not only offers me comprehensive professional skills, but as an international student, I am given opportunities for career guidance appointments, CV checks and mock interview. All of these resources are exactly what I need for pursuing my career aspirations.

After earning a degree in this course, I believe I can improve my professional abilities and increase competitiveness in the job market. My short-term career goal is to become a consultant at a company in the UK for assisting its decision making. If I am unsuccessful in securing employment in the UK, I plan to seek a position within a Big Four accounting firm in Asia. Ultimately, I want to build my career in a management consulting firm where I can fully capitalize on my cumulative abilities and experiences.

Maria [Contributor] - / 827 313  
Jul 12, 2019   #2

First and foremost, the general composition, structure, and writing flow are all well-done. You had a strong and firm grasp of the language, making the build-up of your meaning excellent in the long-run. What I would primarily suggest is attempting to not overcomplicate the sentences as it can often overwhelm the eyes of the readers, making the text (although great) quite hard to comprehend. Simplification of texts will help you curate a firmer structure that's easier to digest.

Furthermore, I suggest that you organize your thoughts in a more meaningful manner. For instance, try dividing your thoughts into short-term and long-term plans to create more dynamism.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors.
OP oneouran 6 / 13 4  
Jul 13, 2019   #3

Thanks for your advice!

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