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Large factories bring pollution which affects people both physically and mentally - TOEFL


gbekil 7 / 17 2  
Oct 25, 2014   #1
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory?Explain your position.

Some of the people may support the factory, since it brings new jobs to community. However, the disadvantages weigh much heavier than the advantages. Factories cause both air and noise pollution and they destroy the quiet life of a smal town. In this essay, the reasons for why I oppose building a large factory near my community will be explored.

Firstly, factories causes air and noise pollution. If a factory is built near my community, it will make the air dirty with its smog, and this smog affects the health of people adversly. For instance, I often visit my aunt who lives in a big city where a great amounts of factories locate, I realize that everything is covered with dust,additionally a multitude of people get health problems because of air pollution. Moreover, the large factory make a lot of noises, because of the large machines. According to the researches, this noises causes mental illness.

Secondly, factories change the life of a smal town deeply. After building the large factory, a great amount of people migrate to our small town to have a job in this factory, therefore the population will increase, this migration firstly affects the price of renting a house, because there isn't enough. Not just the renting cost, but also increasing the cost of goods, for example fruits, vegatables. Actually, this factory makes our small town expensive place to live.

Last but not least, factories causes also traffic problems, since a myriad of trucks will come to factory to bring raw materials, or any other materials, furthermore the products which be sent any other places to be sold, so this actions causes traffic problems. In addition, increasing of the populution makes the traffic crowded, one day we may not find a space to park our cars.

To conclude, large factories bring pollution which affects people both physically and mentally, cause traffic problems and increase the cost of live. Some people may advocate that large factories give a chance to have a job, however the benefits of a factory are outweighed by the risks.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 25, 2014   #2
Some of the people may support the factory, since it brings new jobs to community. However, the disadvantages weigh much heavier than the advantages. Factories cause both air and noise pollution and they destroy the quiet life of a smal town. In this essay, the reasons for why I oppose building a large factory near my community will be explored.

- Gulsah, while this is a very good introductory statement, it does not indicate the restated prompt so if anyone were to read this essay without the prompt attached, their idea of the topic being discussed will be limited. You need to always completely state a rephrased prompt as part of the IBC essay requirements adherence So restate the part about the plans of a company to build a large factory in your town before you present the pov. .

and this smog affects the health of people adversly

- ... this smog adversely affects people's health.

a big city where a great amounts of factories locate[ /quote]
- ... where a great number of factories are located

[quote=gbekil] I realize that everything is covered with dust,additionally a multitude of people get health problems because of air pollution. Moreover, the large factory make a lot of noises, because of the large machines. According to the researches, this noises causes mental illness.

- It would help to mention a number of illnesses that air pollution and noise pollution causes since you mention research into the topics. A good way of dealing with these would be to mention how living in the city near factories has affected your aunt's health.

a great amount of people migrate to our small town to have a job in this factory, therefore the population will increase, this migration firstly affects the price of renting a house, because there isn't enough.

- there is an influx of migrants into our small town, these new residents work in the factory and cause a population increase in our area. This affects the cost of housing rental in the town because there are not enough houses to accommodate the newcomers.

- This paragraph became too long sentence wise because you used commas where you should have used periods. I am trying to show you a better way of discussing this particular statement above.

Last but not least, factories causes also traffic problems, since a myriad of trucks will come to factory to bring raw materials, or any other materials, furthermore the products which be sent any other places to be sold, so this actions causes traffic problems. In addition, increasing of the populution makes the traffic crowded, one day we may not find a space to park our cars.

- Last but not the least, factories cause traffic problems due to the various trucks coming to deliver raw materials and pick up the final product for delivery to the merchants. Traffic will become overcrowded and eventually, the resident may find that they do not have a place to park their cars anymore.
alberic - / 10 1  
Nov 16, 2014   #3
"According to the researches, this noises causes mental illness."

Never use this type of assertion when you cannot name specifically who conducted the experiment and how did they perform it. It is small not small. By the way, in conclusion you did not choose which side you are in.


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