Could plase someone check this an dlet me know how it sounds like and if it is still subject to changes?
thank you
I am the oldest of a family of four children. I was brought up in a hard working Turkish family in Berlin, that is intellectually and culturally diverse. The blending of these two diverse cultures has had a unique impact on both my character and my perspective in life. In this application I hope to demonstrate not only the academic and the field of interest that makes me an exceptional candidate to LSE Master's program in Finance, but also the personal characteristics that will allow me to obtain the most from studying at London school of Economics and Political Science.
I graduated from London Metropolitan Business School with bachelor's first class honors degree in Economics and Finance, august of 2009 and studying currently MSc Economics at the University of Birkbeck. My revived interest in academic study is fueled by my recollection of the enriching experience I had had as an undergraduate at Metropolitan. Surrounded by intellectually engaging individuals from diverse backgrounds, I had developed an intense love of academic pursuits, especially for finance. Each semester, I hunted down professors, seeking to discuss finance as well as economic theories and how those are applied to the realities in the financial markets.
That diverse syllabus content of those two universities have given me a comprehensive exposure to advanced Economics and Finance disciplines and provided me with a strong logical analysis and mathematics training. I can analyze and explain real life economics and financial events by using mathematical, econometric and quantitative models.Furthermore, the splendid lectures given by those intelligent professors at Birkbeck enlarged my understanding and vision in economics disciplines and confirmed my determination to have career in finance. During my time at Brikbeck I have noticed the greatest advantage of Birkbeck is its variety of different teaching methods: this helps students to be more flexible and learn how to work with different methods of information delivery.
I had my first experience with LSE when I was doing Econometrics during the summer course 2009 with Professor Christopher Dougherty, a very lovely and charming person, always with a smile on his face even at 9 o'clock in the morning, who also always tried to encourage his students to ask questions. One memorable sentence of his was that we could also visit him even though without having any questions about the material we have been taught, just purely for a chat. We had almost 150 students in class from different countries with diverse academic and professional backgrounds. I did not only learn econometrics at LSE but also about different cultures, languages as well as the different way of thinking outside of Europe.
My personal interests are very multifaceted and I have found myself constantly involved in extra-curricular activities. Mostly, I am passionate about two things. The first is playing the piano which gives me a sense of calmness and allows me to clear my mind. Secondly, I am passionate about sports, whether it is swimming through school or kickball through college, or just enjoying a casual jog. I believe in team work and in my experience being in a team allows you to learn about sportsmanship, but also about winning and losing. I have always strived to win, but in sports like in life losing is part of the game, the important part however is that you should aslways learn from those experiences and especially from your mistakes. As Denis E. Waitley( 1933), an American author, quoted once
"You must learn from your past mistakes, but not lean on your past successes"
One of the most rewarding activities I have been involved with was private tuition. During my undergraduate years as well as my A-levels I assisted students with theoretical understanding in economics, mathematics and finance. I found teaching to be a very demanding activity; however, it always gives you a trickle of good feeling when you see the expression of understanding on the face of your students when the penny drops, which makes all the effort worthwhile. Teaching also not only requires knowledge and patience, but also the ability to be able to transmit that information to your students in the most understandable way. In addition it requires leadership, character, patience and especially knowledge of human nature. The best instructors are able to connect with their students and teach them not only class content but life lessons. I believe that my focus, helpfulness and my accessibility left a positive impression on my students. As the 30th President of the United States "John Calvin Coolidge (1973)" put it once;
'...unrewarded genius is almost a proverb... Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent...'
People are not rewarded for being smart. They are rewarded for what they accomplish. Talent, brains and education is not worth anything if you cannot make things happen.
What sparked my interest in pursuing graduate studies in finance? The first time my interest in finance and economics was provoked was during my vacations in turkey as a young child. While my parents exchanging their money from " deutsch mark" to "Turkish liras" I always start asking myself about the mechanisms that lies behind the forces that determinates those rates and whether it would be possible to forecast the next periods rates in order to gain an advantage for my parents. Furthermore, an article about "The Big Mac Index", published by a weekly magazine called "The Economist" had also enamoured me. Back then, it never crossed my mind why an omnipresent item is sold at different prices around the globe. This phenomenon still fascinates me, and I have not missed an issue since then.
Consequently, I start to expanse my readings on the subject, taking in established academic works and progressed to university textbooks to make sure I well understood the theories and concepts in articles. This experience had shown me that I was really gaining a deep interest in finance. I was able to use my basic knowledge to form opinions and arguments about finance, and there was no doubt about that finance will be my eventual area of study at a higher level as it simply concerns me personally and provides me with logical explanations about ordinary daily events I was observing.
I am most riveted by the areas of stock markets, exchange rate theories and movements as well as valuation of shares and derivatives and in particular financial behavior. I enjoy studying about financial markets and their constituent entities - the firms and the investors- and how they interact and behave with one another in different circumstances. Equally interesting is the econometric analysis involved to determine the different levels of risk in the financial markets. I have taken courses in my last three years in university that allows me to have a core theme on these areas of interest, yet maintain an expansive enough variety to keep my knowledge base deep. The real world scenarios and events motivate me to study more about these areas in order to complete my education in this field.
The financial aspect appeals to me differently since I have always found a natural preferenace for mathematics and statistics. The econometrics issue allows me to use my quantitative skills while still using strong economic and financial theories. My interest in econometrics and its importance in finance Master's course makes me believe I will derive much benefit from it. I have always actively taken more additional modules (as my transcript indicates) to prepare myself for a master's course throughout my undergraduate degree.
My Long-Run Goals; I intend to become a successful financial analyst either at the Bank of England or at the FSA, who learns to combine strengths in the various disciplines in order to solve the diverse dimensions of real-life practical problems of finance industry, the financial markets and developing econometric models that helps us to understand financial crisis's a bit better and provides us with a tool to handle bubbles which is still an unanswered question at the end of this current financial crisis. However, studying a master's course in finance is a definite requirement and a foundation I will eventually need to build upon. Regarding my long-term goal, although it's difficult to predict things far into the future, I clearly know what direction I desire to develop toward. After joining the financial industry, I would like to become a top financial analyst and expert whom others rely. I have fully prepared myself through years of work experience as well as intellectually through my education in the UK to take any challenge and responsibility that might be presented in the long term.
The reason for pursuing a MSc in Finance from LSE; I made my first steps toward the goal by studying Economics and Finance. But the challenges I will be faced in the financial sector will uncover the need for a more advanced finance education. Learning doesn't stop when you graduate, it is a process that continues throughout life.Consequently, to accomplish my goal, I would like to further enhance my expertise, as there is much yet for me to learn, especially in capital budgeting, strategic financial decision making and financial engineering.
After thorough research, my choice came down to Oxford Said Business School and LSE. However through my previous experience at LSE during the summer course this eventually persuaded me to selected LSE's MSc program because of its international focus, the intensity and quality of its teaching and research however predominantly because of its well chosen modules such as international Finance and Financial engineering which will be a great asset for my future work place.
I am excited to engage in the case study-orientated curriculum and its diverse materials. In addition, I expect the program to provide courses that would prepare me in acquiring professional licenses such as the Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA)( which I definitely intent to take), and to properly train its students to critically analyze financial statements using learned statistical and econometrical skills.I also strongly believe I can contribute significantly to the program and to the university in many ways as I am a focused and hard working individual. I would like to share my cheerful personality, and my colorful experiences working in foreign countries with other LSE students. My optimism, open-mindedness, and industrious attitude have always been appreciated by my colleagues and friends.
I show my determination to learn by never giving up on understanding concepts. This, at first, was a little demanding, but I believe that everything I am learning will serve as a strong foundation for me to build upon in the future. Economics and finance have now become a part of my everyday life, and I am always trying to expand my knowledge base.Even though I may not get all the answers from the LSE's MSc program, I will learn where to find them when it matters the most.
I hope I will be given the opportunity to improve my education and also myself as an individual. The opportunity to study in an environment with others as passionate about the subject as myself would mean that an exchange of views and ideas would benefit both sides. I have always strived to be the best at what I do, and I am sure the academic environment at LSE is conducive to my progress and will allow me to explore finance at a deeper, more advanced level. I appreciate your taking the time in considering my application and I hope that the information I have shared has effectually demonstrated my technical competence and my passion to form part of your prestigious academic institution as an MSc student.
Additional information
As you have probably noticed my record shows a failure in Business Psychology and Introduction to Macroeconomics. I took those additional modules only out of sheer interest, and which I had to register; however, I was not allowed to take the exam as it was not deemed necessary.
A little trimming will help. Cut out unnecessary words and phrases. That is the way to write powerfully:
...a family that is internationally oriented, and intellectually and culturally diverse.
My parents were originally from Turkey, but I was born and grew up in Berlin. the capital of Germany.
I successfully graduated from...
My revived interest in academic study is fueled by my recollection of the enriching experience I had had as an undergraduate
I have an opportunity here to, in effect, improve not only my education and also myself as an individual.
In the future, I intend to become a successful financial analyst either at...
You have some specific goals, and that is powerful. Those specific goals show your seriousness, and they answer the prompt question for this essay. I think you should cut out what is unnecessary and focus on the answer to their question. Answer their question in the first paragraph, and then let the essay explain it. I think this needs a rewrite, and make it less wordy. Good luck!! Let's see the next draft! :)
This is excellent, and I think is responds well to the essay prompt. You seem very serious and motivated. I am glad I was able to find some mistakes to correct:
My personal interests are very diverse, and I have found myself constantly involved in extra-curricular activities. I am passionate about two things. The first is playing the piano, which gives me a sense of calmness and allows me to clear my mind.
This sentence had no verb:
Secondly, I am passionate about sports, whether it is swimming through school or kickball through college, or just enjoying a casual jog.
Consider switching to the active voice: I show my determination to learn by never g iving up on understanding concepts. This, at first, was a little demanding, but I believe that everything I am learning will serve as a strong foundation for me to build upon in the future.
Economics and finance have now become a part of my everyday life, and I am always trying to expand my knowledge base.
