Please review my SOP and suggest changes.
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
India is a country who has a very conservative approach towards women, Indian Constitution strongly believed in freedom and practicing justice. So, Are we FREE? I was very inquisitive person from my childhood days and always use to struggle for experiencing freedom. So, What is it I want to do ? With this passion, I stamped in my 6th grade slam book to become a Lawyer.
From an early age, I actively participated in discussions held in living room pertaining to legal matters with the members of my family which exposed me to the nitty-gritty of legal issues. In 12th grade when my colleagues were struggling to decide their Career, being clear towards my goal. I took up a five year law program immediately after completing of my secondary school. Hence my journey began to be a proud Lawyer and I completed my course with flying colors, I am proud of the fact that I am the first lawyer in last five generations in my family. During my law program, It made me realized that I have a great inclination towards Commercial laws and needs to achieve excellence and expertise in that area. My father, a chartered account is working with one of the renowned consulting firms in India; he guided me in my selection of major and specialization. Without a second thought, I have opted to go ahead with a dream to excel in commercial laws for my LLM.
I pursued a five year integrated undergraduate degree in Arts and Law with Honors in Business Law (BA.LLB) (Honors) with First Class Honors Distinction) from Institute of Law, Nirma University, Ahmedabad which imparted a high quality education based on a comprehensive curriculam augmenting my understanding of various facets of law especially commercial law for various legal issues. Being a law student the focus was on commercial law and Research work, during my stint with law school years. I did my research work in the subject of Corporate governance and Corporate finance in my honours course under the Research assistantship of Prof Divya Tyagi. In 2012, I was elected as the assistant editor for the flagship Journal of the Institute of Law. I took up this opportunity as a means to be able to voice my views and more importantly provide awareness in the society, which is otherwise dormant. I would be fortunate if given an opportunity to be a researcher in my LLM course/ as well.
During my clerkship with Honorable Justice A.L Dave, Judge, Supreme Court of India where I was exposed judicial decision making at the highest level. I gained immense practical experience through my internships, moot courts and debates throughout law school to enhance my communication and analytical skills. My Internship at J. Sagar Associates and Khaitan & Co which are the top tier Law firm in India gave me a strong understanding of research work, drafting of contracts and documents, compliances of due diligence, meeting with the clients and assisting associates for the legal opinions. Grappling with the legal problem faced by the firms on a day to day basis taught me to overcome my limitations and helped me to understand the amount of hard work and dedication required to become a successful legal professional in today's "cut throat" competition. Currently I am working as a full time employee in the Legal Department of an Indian Multinational, Kalpataru Power Transmission Ltd conducting business globally across 37 countries. I handle all legal matters regarding infrastructure and railway projects finances. The practical exposures has taught me the application of law to the needs of the company and their business with contractors and owners. I recently helped the management in the drafting of the Sexual Harassment Policy for women at the work place where I lay strong emphasis on providing a transparent and effective grievance redressal system . My Hunger for Learning was never ending so with law I started pursuing certified Company Secretary (CS) and have successfully completed three groups of professional course conducted by The Institute of Company Secretaries of India (ICSI). CS has supplemented me with exhaustive knowledge and analytical skills in the domain of the Companies Act in order for me to achieve better professionally with the rest of my classmates.
Apart from Academics I have tremendous interest in Dancing, I took training is Bharat Natyam, an Indian form of classical dance for Six years. I was awarded Nritya Jyoti for proficiency and excellence in Bharat Natyam. I had won many competitions at Intra-College level. Dance, I feel dance is a special way to express oneself by one's actions and expression, projecting in a beautiful way. I have also learnt other forms of western and Indian dances and still continuing to excel more.
The Course at UCL faculty of Law fascinates me as it is high in ranking and helps the student to stand out from the rest of the crowd. They provide a great platform to study with international students and cross cultural appeal with ethical outlook. I believe that my law education is incomplete without studying in the UK as Indian legal system has its roots derived from UK legal system and produce one of the best lawyers and academician of the World. UCL gives flexibility to specialize in Comparative Law, Corporate Law, International Commercial law. They have excellent curriculum, outstanding faculty, distinguished Scholars and inculcating high values and morals in the students. To be able to study such an interesting subjects fulfills my aspiration as Corporate Lawyer would be a dream come true.
UCL is one of the renowned and foremost institutions in the World known for high caliber students to expertise in specialized subjects and enhance their abilities to think critically, analyze legal arguments, articulate ideas, and research efficiently, and write effectively.
The ingenuity of traders and the complexity of modern commerce are truly increasing in India as well in global market. Upon completion of the course, I have a desire to serve to the needs of corporate world by working in the Legal department of Multi National Company or with a reputed Law firm in my home Country by advising on commercial transaction. Eventually, I intend to contribute my knowledge of law in commercial law area in India; giving it a new globally recognized dimension to it by essentially adopting transparent policies and practices as well as protecting the rights of stakeholders in a company at the highest level.
I recently had my SOP prepared for a Business program. So, I thought I could share my views on your write up.
Based on my understanding, the SOP is prepared to give the admissions panel a brief overview of "why you are interested", "what influenced your decision", "how your would relate the program's learning to your practice" and "how your expertize can add to the improve the interaction". Of-course that's my view.
The write up : You've got a great write-up, but do look out for singular/plural, subject-verb agreement, usage of articles and punctuations.
Ex: India is a country who
very (an) inquisitive person from my childhood
The Sentence in the 2nd paragraph "In 12th grade when my colleagues were struggling to decide their Career, being clear towards my goal. " needs more emphasis on who was focused on the goals.
"During my law program, It made me realized that...." I would suggest - "During my law program, I realized that ...." or "While pursuing the Law program, I realized that..."
The 3rd paragraph gives a great deal of information about your work. That's good. But try to shrink the long strings.
The last but second paragraph your focus shouldn't be on what XYZ University offers your or how prestigious holding their degree can be. Instead mention how you find the curriculum relates to your future job and how you believe their degree can benefit you.
Hope I was of some help.