Hello everyone, I am working on my personal statement for the above course at Bristol Uni. I would be glad to receive your comments and feedback please?
why I choosed this course?
"I wish to specialise in Labour Law and Corporate Governance at the University of Bristol because I have the firm conviction, after having extensively explored the university's website and students' testimonials, that this is the place where I can blossom both professionally and on a personal level. Having undergone a year of pupillage in XX and having thereafter practised as an independent barrister, it is now time for me to aim higher and elevate my career by choosing to specialise in a specific legal field. Therefore, this programme is an ideal course meeting my ambition. The course structure is appealing and challenging, and I am more than determined to make it through the programme with flying colours. I have the intention of assimilating and developing the necessary skills to arm myself with the proper weapons to rocket my career.
I have chosen the University of Bristol for its excellent reputation in the UK and for its reputable teaching staff. Arming myself with an LLM from this prestigious university, I am confident that I will have the required baggage to achieve higher professionally and gain in expertise and reputation. I have lived in Bristol for a year having pursued the BPTC at the University of the West of England, and I have fallen for this lovely city. I eagerly look forward to coming back to the beautiful city of Bristol and to its incredibly friendly people.
I have the privilege of regularly assisting and collaborating with my Head of Chambers, Mr. XX who has previously served as Minister of Labour and Industrial Relations from 1979 to 1982. I have therefore acquired a respectable amount of knowledge and experience in dealing with labour disputes both in and out of court. I often represent employees or employers in disciplinary committees where I have to present arguments and evidence as per the XX Employment Law. I have also had the opportunity of chairing two disciplinary committees for two private companies and I have duly delivered a finding following the hearing of both parties. Therefore, I have a sound knowledge of labour law in XX both theoretically and in practise. Throughout my year of practise in the labour field, I have grown to be passionate about Labour Law and I wish to pursue my specialisation in this field.
I have undergone seminars and workshops as a member of the XX Institute of Directors focussing on corporate governance which is a primordial concern of all companies and commercial entities. I also act as Company Secretary for two private companies where my main duties are to maintain the concept of good governance and ensuring that the companies' policies abide by the law. Consequently, an LLM in Labour Law and Corporate Governance would undeniably lay a strong foundation to my career.
As a student and professional, I am dedicated, determined, perseverant and hard-working. I have acquired self-discipline and professionalism. I can handle tension and pressure of deadlines, having successfully completed my Bar Professional Training Course on the first attempt. As a practising barrister I have the duty of diligently preparing all my cases for court and carry out extensive legal research. This has taught me time-management, self-discipline, and researching skills. Furthermore, as a social activist, I am actively involved in campaigning against domestic violence and sexual harassment. I regularly give talks to the both the general public and to specific groups of the public including social workers, police officers, other NGOs. Therefore, I have acquired considerable public speaking and communication skills through my professional life and my social involvement. I can also efficiently manage considerable amount of work load within time constraints. I believe these are the requisite skills and qualities for successfully undertake this course.
I am constantly thriving for novel experiences susceptible of providing me with enhanced skills and knowledge. Therefore, I am certain that this course is just what I need and simultaneously I can share my expertise and experience in the labour aspect of the XX law.
With an LLM in Labour Law and Corporate Governance in hand, I will be confidently moving forward to undertaking a PhD. These qualifications will undeniably boost my legal career, and lead to new opportunities in terms of professional expansion in the African region and globally. My future career goals after completion of the programme would be to practise as a specialist in Labour Law and after accumulating sound experience in the field, I look forward to joining the XX Commission for Conciliation and Mediation which provides conciliation, mediation and advisory services for promoting the improvement of industrial relations in the workplace, alternatively the XX Employment Rights Tribunal."
Thank you all!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,224 3651
Pooja, when you are asked why you chose a particular course, the reviewer will not be impressed when you say that you chose the course based on the university website and student testimonials. That sounds like you are ordering food off a fast food menu. That is a highly unprofessional reference. Remove that and replace it with academic reasons. The reviewer also knows the capacity of his teaching team and the reputation of his university, so that can't be another reason to choose this course at this university. Go deeper into the teaching staff and pick some professors who may have fueled your desire to enroll in this course for the opportunity to learn from them. The location of the university should be the worst reason to choose the course as well. You are going to school, not taking a tour. Nobody cares if the scenery is one of the best in the world. That does not relate to the course choice considerations which are central to this essay. The rest of the information you present is for a statement of purpose and does not directly relate to a specific career plan that is driving you to enroll in this course. I am afraid you need to write a totally new essay. One that focuses solely on your future career plans and how getting this advanced degree will assist you in achieving that plan. More importantly, you need to discuss how the university faculty and facilities will be pivotal in your future training. That is what this "Why did you choose this course?" essay should contain.
@holt Thank you so much for your critical feedback. I have re-written the text and would greatly appreciate your feedback please.
"I have been practising as independent junior barrister for a year now and I have gained a considerable amount of practical skills and experience. For instance, I have worked on and handled a variety of cases ranging from criminal matters and civil lawsuits to commercial and labour disputes. I intensely feel that I should now pursue a specialisation and become a master of a trade instead of a jack of all trades. Therefore, I have chosen to undertake my masters in Labour Law and Corporate Governance to give a direction to my legal career and become an independent expert. The University of Bristol is the sole institution offering specialisation in both Labour Law and Corporate Governance, which perfectly fits my ambition of refining my attributes in employment and company law. I sincerely look forward to be taught by world-leading experts and benefit from the wide range of module choices which will definitely set a foundation for further academic study at PhD level which I hope to pursue at the University of Bristol.
XX, being a small country, has an exorbitant number of lawyers which keeps increasing each year. Therefore, it is imperative and primordial for me to get a specialisation from a prestigious university in order to remain competitive and flourish in the profession. I have chosen Labour Law as a specialist area because of my growing interest and passion in the field following recent cases that I have worked on. Moreover, I have the privilege of regularly assisting and collaborating with my Head of Chambers, Mr. XX who has previously served as Minister of Labour and Industrial Relations from XX to XX. Under his careful supervision and guidance, I have acquired extensive knowledge of the XX Labour Law and I have accumulated diverse experience in dealing with labour disputes both in and out of court. For instance, I regularly assist and provide legal advice to employees or alternatively employers in disciplinary committees. I have also had the opportunity of chairing two disciplinary committees for two private companies which provided me with an insight into the role of an assessor of evidence. Moreover, I also act as Company Secretary for private companies where my main duties are to preserve the concept of good governance and ensure that the companies' policies abide by the law. Consequently, an LLM in Labour Law and Corporate Governance would undeniably enhance my intellectual skills and other proficient attributes needed to excel in this area of law.
In addition to my ambition of being an expert in Labour Law and Corporate Governance, I am motivated to pursue this field of study to help my society. Indeed, I wish to share the expertise and skills gained from this course, with Mauritian women struggling with unemployment and poverty. As a social activist and Founder of Mafubo XX, the XX branch of "Fédération Mafubo Internationale" militating for the rights and welfare of women implanted in XX, I regularly encounter women of different age groups and of different social backgrounds who are burdened by economical barriers. I noted that the alarming increase in violence against women is proportional to the increase in unemployment in XX; a battered woman is more likely to stay with her perpetrator when she is financially dependent. Therefore, I have the intention of setting up am Employment Guidance Unit providing assistance, counselling and legal advice to unemployed women with respect to their search for employment. I am confident that with a masters in Labour Law and Corporate Governance, I can definitely arm myself with the requisite weapons to help the underprivileged and struggling members of the XX Society. "