masters programme application essay
Hello distinguished, kindly help me review this essay i intend to submit for my masters programme in chemical engineering
A constant urge to learn and explore, an ambition to become a researcher, a desire to be a part of the fast-growing technological world and contribute to its development has been instrumental in my opting for graduate studies. My fascination with Engineering is of long-standing. An engineering course, provides a comprehensive and a quite unlimited scope for specialization. Both to the theoretical and pratical course. At this juncture, I have come to realize that the knowledge gained so far is inadequate. Thus, I am interested in doing my Post graduation studies (MSc.) at your university, which will help me to make a firm foundation for my future.
My professional goals are to learn as much as I can about higher education. That, I believe would strengthen my awareness about trends within the process engineering landscape and most importantly, the area of environmental engineering on how to contribute my parts toward the reduction and further control of greenhouse gas emission (GHG) and how I can contribute to the overall mission and purpose of the profession. I believe my past and current experiences have prepared me tremendously to serve as a senior engineer. As a graduate student at Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH), Ogbomosho, Nigeria. I completed my Bachelor in Chemical Engineering with a CGPA of 3.36 from a maximum point of 5. There I was exposed to chemical processes, unit operation, thermodynamics, and process design in addition to that I took it a bit further acquiring skills in MATLAB and APEN HYSYS as applicable to chemical engineering. I had practical experience of modeling, simulation and data analysis from my research thesis as an undergraduate. Here, I applied ECLIPSE 300, MATLAB and Design expert to model and simulate an oil rim reservoir to test for the optimum completion strategy for mature oil wells. I further enrolled and got certified in health safety and environmental courses as well as Energy transition courses with IFP, France.
I studied and worked in several capacities as an operation engineer, utility engineer, Laboratory analyst and presently as a Data engineer in different processing outfits of different, cultural and regional backgrounds. This multicultural professional background and industries have challenged me to think critically and provided me with skills to work with different cultures, lifestyle, beliefs, and backgrounds A case study was when I was tasked by the engineering manager on energy optimization project across all section in the company, I was able to motivate a team of four ladies to help to achieve a fifty percent reduction in energy loss experienced by the company. Industries such as power and energy, fast-moving consumer goods (FMCG) and technology industries also, the experience I had with these organizations deepened my understanding of the field and how chemical engineers operate and what else needs to be done to improve waste management in the processing industries. Such experiences helped me to deepen my understanding of higher education and how to apply theory to practice.
As part of giving back to the community and creating a safe and enabling environment for the younger ones, I was the team leader of an organization that works to improve the lives of others, I believe I have not only been a catalyst for change but have instilled a "sense of responsibility" for many young students during my NYSC years (NYSC is a one-year compulsory program set aside by Nigeria government for graduates). During my Compulsory national youth service program, I was in charge of the facilitation and setting up of a drug-free club in high schools. This club was set up by me and my teammates in the secondary school to curb the menace of drug abuse. We believe institutions like the secondary schools and other pre-tertiary institutions have a greater influence on what a child eventually becomes in the social space. So, the club has the "catch them young" theme in its whole aim and objectives.
In conclusion, like my late father (of blessed memory) always tells me, "on your way to the top, I never promise you it will be easy, but it will be worth your time and stress". This foreword has always been my guide anytime I am taking up new challenges, the journey ahead might be a challenging one, it may doubt be arduous and demanding at times. After a careful study of various schools and the courses offered by the university, I finally decided to apply to your university owing to the quality of courses it offers. I strongly feel that I can match the high standard of your university and contribute fruitfully for the research endeavors at your university which my experiences have greatly prepared me for. A graduate assistant role besides providing financial support would give me invaluable research-teaching experience. I am keen to join as a graduate student in your esteemed department with suitable financial assistance.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 This essay doesn't really explain a solid purpose for your studies and your credentials are too numerous to keep track of. The main point of a statement of purpose is to explain how the studies will help you in accomplishing your current work tasks. You specifically stated that the information you have at the moment regarding your job is lacking. Why do you feel that it is lacking? What areas of improvement do you see advanced studies improving in your skills as required by your job? More importantly, what theoretical shortcomings do you currently have that affect your ability to competently complete your work tasks? Those are the reasons that develop the purpose of your studies.
Next, if you really want to impress the reviewer, then depict your accomplishments within the workplace that would support the idea that you have a professional foundation, no matter how shallow, to compete as a student in this particular masters course. Choose one or two of the most relevant examples then write about those as individual paragraphs. Detail the discussion of each accomplishment. Don't just enumerate it. You have to make it more convincing than merely indicating you had such an accomplishment.
Do not include any reference to NYSC, that is not relevant to the job description or course choice. You should instead, make sure that you include a solid instead of general reference to your skills as a researcher and problem solver. Not in an inclusive paragraph, but as individual paragraph discussions. Focus on your strongest points for both. If possible, include a reference to your undergrad thesis which you might be able to continue pursuing as your masters thesis. That way you can show a continued education process in relation to your current workplace duties and responsibilities.
There is no need to quote your dad at the end of the essay. Instead, detail certain classes at the university that you hope to take which directly address core weaknesses in your technical and / or theoretical expertise. The choice of university must relate directly to the curriculum and training programs you hope to receive. Showing a familiarity with the course syllabus that you will be expected to complete and why these areas of study are important to your line of work / learning.
The final verdict is this: write a new essay. A more applicable essay that delivers on the important points of a statement of purpose. Provide the information that the reviewer needs to know about in a manner that will interest him as a reader. This is like a job application. The student with the best credentials and most convincing purpose wins a student slot.
@Kilekun
This Essay does not show any purpose of you undertaking your studies in XXX University. You didn't make any provision on the University you would be doing your Master's studies, what the university has to offer you, the skills and knowledge you will like to gain and your career plan after your studies. Rather, the essay is just full of stories. Please rewrite a new essay that addresses all these.
