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'My management team and my prospects' - Baker College Admission Essay for Doctorate


tinamiller1 1 / 2  
Aug 28, 2009   #1
Baker College in Michigan has recently added a DBA program in MIS. I have obtained three degrees from this college and want to pursue my doctorate. I have never submitted an admission essay and the college requests 500-1000 words to critique my writing skills. They ask the essay contain personal information; accomplishments; why you are pusuing a doctorate and what you plan to do with it. Here is what I have written: (I have run this through Word spellcheck and two online checks and some capitalize the degree names like Masters and some don't. Thank you for any direction or assistance. I really want to get into this doctoral program.)

Pursing a Doctoral Degree in Business/MIS

The thought of pursuing a doctorate or any degree seldom crossed my mind when I was younger. I started working at the age of 11 with a paper route and by age 15 I was working part-time at Taco Bell after school. My parents never discussed college or continuing my education after high school. They were focused on the idea that when you turn 18 you work full-time or enlist in the armed forces. Both of my parents never attended college and were employed in the airline industry for the majority of their lives. My father became an instructor at an airline academy in which I enrolled after graduating from high school. In five short months I obtained my travel certification and moved from Washington to Arizona to work for America West Airlines. I remained in this field until November of 2001.

In the summer of 2000 my husband was offered a position with General Motors and we moved to New York. It was at that time I entertained the thought of going to college because I was no longer satisfied with my career and the Internet was taking over my field. Online travel sites allowed anyone to become their own travel agent. My husband was informed that to meet the requirements of his position he needed to obtain a bachelors degree. General Motors suggested Baker College where we both enrolled in the associates of business program April of 2001.

After only a few months into my program I contemplated withdrawing from college. I had no focus and lacked discipline to read or complete the assignments. I was still unsure of the career path I wanted to pursue. I had been out of the learning environment for many years and courses like mathematics and economics had me completely overwhelmed. The online learning environment was easy to understand and follow, but the trick lay in attempting to recall information I had previously learned and relinquish my free time to read textbooks and complete homework assignments. November 2001 my travel career ended after the horrific events of September 11th. At this time I choose to focus solely on my education.

As my knowledge of the subject matter increased my attitude towards college and learning changed. I now had a desire to learn more from my instructors, other students, and the class forums. I quickly completed my associates in Business and graduated magna cum laude with a 3.74 grade point average in 2002. I decided to pursue a bachelor in Computer Information Systems and graduated in 2006 magna cum laude with a grade point average of 3.74. At this time I was working full-time for United Healthcare as an associate developer. Prior to the completion of my bachelors program I had decided to pursue a masters and a doctorate. In June of 2009 I graduated with a master in Management Information Systems. I graduated magna cum laude with a grade point average of 3.83. Learning is a lifelong activity that reminds me of how truly amazing and special the human species is. I enjoy learning so much that during my six month break before my doctorate program commences; I plan on pursuing my Black Belt Six Sigma certification.

Every degree I have successfully obtained throughout my years with Baker has opened doors within my current career. My management team respects and admires my accomplishments and consistently utilizes what I have learned to work on multiple projects. They respect my determination, drive and discipline. Obtaining a doctorate will give me a great sense of accomplishment. I am very proud of the fact that I have the ability to work a full-time job; attend college; maintain a high grade point average and still have time for a personal life. Once I complete my doctorate program, I would like to share my knowledge by teaching young people to believe in themselves and their abilities. A great many of our young people today are not focused on their education. I believe that I can make a difference by sharing my experiences and attitude towards learning. Although I began my college career late, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I relish the opportunity to pursue a doctorate degree with Baker and continue along my path of learning.
michelle4 - / 2  
Aug 28, 2009   #2
I think the paper is structured very well with proficient structure.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 28, 2009   #3
Skip the first line. Go through what you have now, editing ruthlessly to take out anything you don't need. Then answer the all-important questions of why you want a doctorate and what you will do with it.


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