Master's in Computing(specialization) Personal Statement, any commends?

I plan to submit this to serveral universities(Imperial/Cambridge/Sheffield/UCL) , applying for masters in computing/MSc computer science. Is this good enough?

Among the things you may wish to include are:

-why you are applying for this course
-how your previous education and experience relates to this course of study
-how this course fits into your long-term academic or career plans

Technology has inevitably becoming part of our daily lives. Being a child of the early 90's, I was a part of the evolution of technology. From floppy disks to pendrives and commercialization of Internet, I witness how technology changed the world tremendously within two decades.

At young age, I was always awed by the artificially intelligent systems in the sci-fi movies where humans can easily interact with them by typing in commands or simply engage in a conversation. Since then, it grew into a passion of pursuing a career in computing. My reasons for applying this course are mainly to increase knowledge in this specialization and to achieve my life-long career goals. Secondly, I see this as advancement in life where I am able to enroll in a world leading higher education to obtain profession which is recognized internationally.

During my degree course, I was enrolled in Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA) course. I completed all four CCNA course. Besides CCNA courses, I was among the few chosen student from my CCNA class to enroll in sponsored Microsoft Windows Server Administrator course. My interest to take this course sparked when I was undertaking my final year project. My final year project was part of a module of a funded project called The MILE (Multimedia Integrated Learning Environment) that involves collaboration with Faculty of Creative Multimedia. One of my project objectives was to develop a multimedia search engine where I have learned the basics of natural language processing and came to a realization that I want to further my studies in this area.

My life-long career goal is to become a professional software developer and utilize my acquired skills in this area to develop potentially change or ease the lives of millions. However, I am still taking into consideration that there is a slight possibility of pursuing a PhD after Masters, but it is yet to be decided.

During my internship, I was involved in a project which was at the early stage of its software development life cycle. I was able to practice my theoretical skills about requirements gathering and analysis. I have learned that communication and resource management are important elements in a successful project. Moreover, my part time job as research assistance at MILE Project has taught me how to be a team player and collaborate with my colleagues to achieve the optimum results.

Aside from studies, I have participated in Red Crescent Society, attending Basic First Aid courses and Disaster Relief Camp. I enjoy participating in technical events such as Google Developer Festival and Microsoft's WOWZAPP Hackathon. Non-academically, I like to travel as it never fails to open up my mind to see new places and experience different cultures. One of my life goals is to backpack across European countries. I enjoy playing guitar or some online games during my spare time.

Studying abroad in a university that has long and rich history has always been my dream. I strongly believe that with passion, enthusiasm and hard work, I will make my dream into reality. I am looking forward to further my studies abroad in order to deepen and expand my knowledge and gain new insights on computer science. I see this is as an opportunity as the start of my exciting and challenging career path in near future.

Well, I feel you have not answered this part adequately. This is all what you have written to answer this question;


I think they would be most interested in knowing how you are going to be benefited by their course. So you should have first talked about your long-term academic and career plans in detail (you've done that, but very briefly) and then show how the features of this program are aligned with your goals.

Hi Pahan. Thank you for the informative feedback.
Other that the part that you mentioned, is there anything else I should change?

Let me also give my feedback to you;


I like if you elaborate a bit more about what your career goals are. By now you may be having something in mind and better talk about them here.


.... here you can also mention about the social factor - you would be able to network with people of diverse backgrounds and that will help you broaden your perspectives.