I have done all the brainstorming but I am unable to join the dots and make it flow. Please help me with the beginning of the essay. I know its a lonngg text. I beg you. I'm planning to apply to Warwick, Cass, Manchester, LSE for SEP '11 intake.
1. List your major accomplishments/achievements (not responsibilities!) in each of your professional positions (see the example that follows). To the best of your ability, briefly describe the beginning, middle and end of what would constitute a story about these accomplishments.
Accomplishment 1: Earned a degree of Certified Financial Planner at the tender age of 18 and turned into youngest CFP in the country.
Beginning: Approached the degree with the hunger to learn one of the crucial factors leading to make me a good businesswoman. Accepted the challenge of Dean who said this course was meant only for graduate students.
Middle: I managed to secure a good balance among undergraduate studies, extra-curricular activities and CFP studies. Scored first class on undergraduate degree exam, A grade on CFP exam and won inter-college dance competition for a dance which I choreographed.
End: Became youngest certified financial planner in the borders of Indian Territory.
Accomplishment 2: Earned the title of Best Intern at ICICI Prudential Asset Management Company.
Beginning: The internship was based on Mutual Fund Industry. Grasping the minute details about the variety of mutual fund schemes and persuading the client the scheme that is most suitable as per his life style in a short period of 6 weeks was overwhelming.
Middle: Served as a leader to the team of 6 members. The prevailing pessimism on the marketplace and the sourness in the investor's sentiment after US markets crash down made the selling of mutual fund to the customer a challenging task.
End: My team broke the records by bringing in more business to the company than the permanent staff did.
2. List your major accomplishments in each of your community activities, following a similar format (template below).
Organization/Dates of involvement: Aria, February 17th 2007 to September 30th 2007.
Description of organization: Rural illiteracy and empowerment of women
Role: Teacher
Hours per month: 48hrs
Accomplishment: Led bright students from rural areas to best colleges
Beginning: Taught the basic concepts of maths and English.
Middle: Identified students who had immense potential and willingness to pursue higher degree. I identified Government loans and subsidies that can help rural students to pursue their degree courses.
End: Saw my dear students to make it to Top Colleges of the country.
Event: JYOT
Description: Event for unravelling the facts of Jainism.
Role: Execution Committee Member
Hours: 60hrs
Accomplishment: Attracted over 7 lakh visitors spanned out in 11 days.
Beginning: Curiosity to give inputs towards my religion. I joined committee for gathering information from scriptures and gurus.
Middle: I gathered the information and gave ideas for displaying the information in unique way and we employed craftsmen for pictorial display of information.
End: The project met huge success. Expected crowd was nearly 4lakhs which included retired people but the innovative strategies attracted visitors from all age groups.
3. List your major accomplishments in each of your collegiate extracurricular activities, following the format shown in the examples for Questions 1 and 2.
Grade 12:
Won the AdMad competition for my school at inter-school level in Quest Competition conducted auditions for the same and formed and led the team alone.
Participated in Drama describing life of St. Ignatius for triple jubilee celebration
Accomplishment in Year 1:
Represented dance team of college at inter-college competitions such as IIPM Amaze and Josh and won titles for them.
I wrote an article on 'Planning out Career' in college newsletter.
Accomplishment in Year 2:
Choreographed a dance at college for Josh inter-college competition and won the same.
Participated in themed modelling competition at inter-college level and won too.
Hosted the college festival in front of the audience of over a 1000
Accomplishment in Year 3:
Gave CAT (Indian MBA entrance exam), IELTS and GMAT in gap of one month and averaged on all the three. Pressure and time management makes me consider it an accomplishment.
4. List any instances in which you have made a significant difference in another human being's life (i.e., helping solve a family problem, teaching a child to read, mentoring a co worker who is having trouble, etc.).
Through the knowledge of reiki and mind power, I helped my friend recover from the trauma. After knowing about the death of his father, he was to occupy his father's position in family business and bring stability in his family. With all negativity prevailing and zero academic credentials, he had almost given up on his life. I had him read "The Secret" by Rhonda Bynes and spurted in motivation in his life to start a new chapter of his life.
I also taught my servant how to read and write in English.
5. List your academic accomplishments: awards, honours, distinctions, publications, etc. Briefly explain the nature of and selection criteria for each.
I scored highest in French Language Learning, Accountancy and Statistics class.
I scored distinction in modules such as Derivatives, Commodities and Mutual Fund exams along with studying for my freshmen year of undergraduate study.
I won best handwriting competition held in my school. I competed with nearly 200 students
Ranked 1st in 10th Grade within the class of 190 students
6. List the five personal accomplishments of which you are most proud (as they relate to yourself, not others-i.e., completed a marathon, published a poem in literary journal, overcame a fear of heights, travelled to 17 different countries, etc.).
During family holiday to China, I got lost in the markets of Guangzhou and couldn't find my family. When I thought, making it to hotel all by myself would be impossible as no one around could understand my language, I didn't lose hope. With the help of dumb charades and translating and interpreting sign language, I hired a taxi and reached to my hotel. It made me realise how important it is to know another person, another culture and gel with them.
Travelled to 15 different countries
7. Discuss any professional or personal setbacks or failures that you have experienced. Have you ever missed any opportunities, not achieved a goal or disappointed another person?
Failing in the first semester of CFP Exam which was Investment Planning killed me from inside. As I had known it was a graduate program and I had to outperform in order to catch the seat I had been offered in the course, it disappointed me and led me to believe I couldn't do this course. But with strong passion, I retook the exam and passed it. After that, there was no looking back.
8. List your hobbies and interests, past and present
Yoga, Reiki, Reading, Playing Table Tennis, Teaching, Browsing the internet, Socializing with friends, Watching comedy movies, Travelling, Scrapbooking, Pottery, Candle Making, Interior Decorating, Cooking
9. List five words or phrases your friends/family would use to describe you. List five words or phrases you would use to describe yourself.
Responsible, Confident, Friendly, Helping, Convincing power and Competitive
10. List any language(s) you speak aside from your native tongue.
English, French, Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati
11. Briefly, what are your short-term after business school?
"Watch, listen and learn. You cannot know it all yourself. Anyone who thinks he does is destined for mediocrity." As true these words are, I see myself working in the position of management consultant for a blue chip company post B-school. With the strong knowledge of finance and accounting, broadening my knowledge with concepts of management, I hunt for an exclusive post of finance manager. Strategic management and Business Management are my preferred areas. A master's in management can help me acquire the full range of skills and make available a wide range of career options. And obtaining this degree from the prestigious LBS will enable me to stand out from the crowd and will further refine my practical knowledge and skills and groom me to achieve the goals I have set for myself.
Post graduation, I aspire to do a Phd in Business Management.
12. Briefly, what are your long-term after business school?
To undertake high quality research in the subject area, actively contribute to teaching at graduate and post graduate level and to undertake administration work as required by Department Head. Alongside, I aspire to return back to my country and entrepreneurship venture wherein I'd establish schools and colleges for the unprivileged students.
13. List the reasons you feel you want/need to get an MBA. How do you believe an MBA program will prepare you to reach your goals, and why do you believe now is the best time to get this degree?
Why MBA-
Stability
Knowledge
Wide Variety of Career Options
Strengthening my Career
Earn a jackpot
Earning an MBA will gain me expertise in the field of management. Combining the knowledge of finance and management, I aspire to serve as a CEO of a business magazine. Do the research, attend the meetings, help out Government and devote in the prosperity of the country.
This is like when you apply a lot of pressure to something in order to refine it. I don't know how to forge a sword, but I'm sure it's something like that. You need to look at all this, drop all facades and masks you might be wearing, and honestly ask yourself what your intention is.
Based on all these accomplishments, what is it that is the meaning of your career? Your education is part of your career, so take inspiration from these accomplishments and frame the information within an introduction and conclusion that powerfully express that message or theme that represents you.
This is the part that needs a lot of work, and it is the part that refers to the theme I am describing: Earning an MBA will gain me expertise in the field of management. Combining the knowledge of finance and management, I aspire to serve as a CEO of a business magazine. Do the research, attend the meetings, help out Government and devote in the prosperity of the country. These are too broad and general. You should develop your opinions about the issued associated with your chosen career path and take an interesting stand. Show the reader what you stand for. Also, change the word devote to something different because it does not work in that sentence above.
:-)
"Knowledge Academy Campus" -SOP for Msc Management and Finance. UK Top 5 B Schools.
Please include any further information that may be relevant for assessing your suitability on the course, including a brief statement outlining your motivation for pursuing your stated course here at Cranfield, your career aspirations and any plans you may have immediately after completing the course.
On September 16 2008, failures of large financial institutions in the United States rapidly devolved into a global crisis resulting in a number of bank failures in Europe and sharp reductions in the value of equities and commodities worldwide. Not long time after this economic downturn, ICICI Prudential AMC came to Knowledge Academy Campus, where I pursued my diploma and Certified Financial Planner studies, for internship placement and gave me an offer for interning with them, the internship that made an everlasting impact on my life.
My role, as an intern, was to scrutinize the performance of mutual funds, compile the data and thereafter sell mutual funds to the clients. Mutual funds came in all sizes and flavours, the tricks for finding right ones improved my analytical and quantitative skills. Whereas selling mutual funds to fearful investors was not only challenging, for the economy was headed to south, but also the highest learning. Weathering the storm shaped me into an effective communicator, naturally persuasive, ethical and incredibly confident person. And my solid contributions to the company in short term of 6 weeks were refunded when they gave me the title of "Best Intern of the Year 2008".
Just as inching away from the comfortable class room seat and taking a gigantic leap into the market field was a great learning experience, so was vice versa. With work experience, I could relate practical expertise with theoretical concepts and thereby learning with finer clarity. This tactic blended with time management equipped me to finish CFP exam studies along with undergraduate studies at the age of eighteen, creating a record of becoming the youngest person to have cleared CFP Certification exams in India.
The knowledge of personal finance that I possess, when enriched with corporate finance subjects and management subjects taught at esteemed Cranfield University will help me acquire thie full gamut of skills and make me able to attain the goals I have set for myself. The Msc course will give me an opportunity to study electives, such as investment banking, mergers and acquisitions, which have direct relevance to my career goals. Innovative learning environment will groom my personality while doing thesis will empower my research capabilities. As I see it, Cranfield's Msc in Finance and Management is most suited for my enthusiasm and expectation in learning abroad.
As it is rightly said knowledge is only half the battle, challenging oneself everyday to act on the knowledge that one has is the other half. Similarly, to act upon the knowledge I would gain during the course, I intend to work as an investment banker. Advising the clients on high level issues of financial organization, managing the issuance of bonds, recommending and executing strategies for taking over and merging with other companies, and handling selling a company's stock to the public interests me beyond anything. Varying working hours, varying type of deals, such as big LBOs, IPOs and mergers and acquisition during boom cycle and so on attracts me towards the profession.
I believe I'd fit into the shoes of investment banker because of three reasons. Firstly, as a banker, one often needs to go through research reports, financial statements, and other data, which for some countries can be only available in the companies' native country language, my ability to speak three international languages, such as English, Hindi and French, will give me an edge. Secondly, my culture awareness from the travel to 15 different countries will be an asset when adjusting to multicultural ambience of banks. Thirdly, my pleasant personality and leadership skills that I gained by working with NGOs will set me apart.
QUESTION: Do I sound too boastful? Is the flow appropriate? This is very basic rough draft. I need a green signal to carry it ahead. Thanks in advance.
It will be helpful if you tell me how many words a statement of purpose should consist. By far, I've reached 602 words.
Please do refine/edit/critique it. That should be a great help in going ahead and giving it a proper conclusive stance.
