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'More than mere pronouns' Writing my statement of purpose for MFA in design


nuyoguru23 1 / 3  
Dec 3, 2009   #1
So i will preface this with that this is just a starting point, I am in the process of applying to grad school. This is what i have so far, I am interested in if it makes sense and is appropriate to an admission essay?

please be kind, but not really... the only way for me to learn is to hear the harsh criticism.

thanks in advance to anyone for helping!

As a visual communicator, a graphic designer, a creative individual it is my job to understand, create and giveback to my audience. Only until recently, with deeper exploration have I come to visualize and appreciate my design audience is.

More than mere pronouns, you, me and them are the audiences that I have designed for my entire creative career. They are what has made me stronger and what and who will push me as a designer. The realization of these 3 audiences have come together to make me realize the need to further my education and seek of the grad program at SVA to pursue my goals teaching and become a critical thinker.

You, has always been my primary audience in my career. It's vast, it's the most influential and the most painful. The you audience has been my family, friends, teachers, bosses, and clients. I have designed for your needs and approval, doing this while honing my craft. I learned by making mistakes and have grown from your criticism. I have struggled to show you my value, but the rejections, heartache and pain have kept me going.

Through you I have uncovered how to design for me, create work that is valid to my experiences and pushes my boundaries. finding my voice is difficult in the sea of many designers, but I have created my niche and found ways to expand on my talents. I helped create an inspirational t-shirt line that showcased a clean, classics and urban aesthetic, using the graphic tee as a mobile canvas to bring our design to the public. Then when faced with the challenge of doing self-initialed design, I help found The VS project: A collective of artists and designers whose purpose is to motivate each other through visual stimulation. It has helped me to find my style.

Sharing information, skills and my creative outlook is how I plan to reach them, my final design audience. Them, is the audience i can effect personally and indirectly. This is the most significant and most rewarding; it's my student and members of the design community. As a mentor with the AIGA/NY mentoring program I have a seen first hand the benefits of giving back to the future design community. This experience where my interest in teaching peaked and it has lead me to my position as an Adjunct at CUNY, College of NY City Tech. I no longer design, create or write for myself, I also provide knowledge and passion to the field.

Applying for my Master at SVA is a final creative push. Grad school will definitely give me a new outlook, it will allow me to focus and change old habits into new effective ones. I think the environment of SVA breeds innovative and out of the box thinking, that is exactly what I hope to gain. I want to surpass my own conventional ways of doing things for a more intuitive and experimental ways. I am constantly learning via my experiences, my contemporaries and through technology, but the ability to learn first hand from creative icons in the field is priceless. No book, blog or interview can bring me closer than the ability to ask direct questions to teachers like Glaser, Sagmeistar and Heller. Now is the best time. I have come into my own, achieving my design style, but still evolving. I want to to evolve more into a critical thinker as well as visually stimulating creative, I believe I can gain this with the Design as Author program.

Currently my work consists of many components. fashion design, editorial design, print and iconography. Through these disciplines I have attained a keen eye. I am a bold designer, with an urban and classic slant. Being accustomed to the fast paced city atmosphere, I have seen the need to be clever, bold and memorable and I apply that to my designs. Street artist turned cultural icon such as Ryan McGuinnes, Steven Powers (ESPO) and Shepard Fairey are designer I align myself with. By sticking to their own beliefs and design aesthetics it allowed their audience to come to them, not succumb to the mainstream, they created a niche and it has paid off. These contemporaries are looked upon as innovators and pioneers, I want to be looked upon as a catalyst, creating my own contribution of knowledge my field.

I have always been intrigued with the way we as creative people think because we see the world differently. What sparks our ideas? Why are we compelled to create? What is our process? These are questions I would like to tackle. The Design as Author program will not only give me an advanced skills set, but it will help breakdown my thoughts and allows me new ways to address these design concerns. I feel that it's an essential tool in making me a knowledgeable teacher and fostering creative thinking.

The culmination of my thoughts and the visualization of these stages in my design career is what you, me & them is all about. I am ready to meet my next challenges head on look forward to have SVA guide my path to reaching my goals.
Mayada 6 / 96  
Dec 4, 2009   #2
please be kind, but not really... the only way for me to learn is to hear the harsh criticism.

Haha, you better make up your mind :P

Only until recently, with deeper exploration have I come to visualize and appreciate my design audience is.

creative career.

You repeated the word creative.. and to avoid implying arrogance, it's better to show how you're creative rather than stating it..

You, has always been my primary audience in my career.

You, have always been

It's vast, it's the most influential and the most painful.

You're referring to "you" as it?

The you audience has been my family, friends, teachers, bosses, and clients.

Seriously?..
I think you should say it in an indirect way.. like: "Whether you are a relative, friend, teacher, boss, or client, I design for your needs and approval, doing this while honing my craft..

I learned by making mistakes and have grown fromby your criticism.

but the rejections, heartache and pain have kept me going.

That isn't usually what keeps you going.. hope, support, having a goal, motives are things that keep you going.. what you mentioned is what you have to put up with..

Through you I have uncovered how to design for me,
>> Confusing.. rephrase..

finding my voice is difficult in the sea of many designers, but I have created my niche and found ways to expand on my talents.

>> don't tell, show..

I helped create an inspirational t-shirt line that showcased a clean, classics and urban aesthetic, using the graphic tee as a mobile canvas to bring our design to the public. Then when faced with the challenge of doing self-initialed design, I help found The VS project: A collective of artists and designers whose purpose is to motivate each other through visual stimulation. It has helped me to find my style.

>>> ok.. that is showing.. better than unsupported statements..

Them, is the audience i can effect personally and indirectly. This is the most significant and most rewarding; it's my student and members of the design community. As a mentor with the AIGA/NY mentoring program I have a seen first hand the benefits of giving back to the future design community.

>> grammar..

I no longer design, create or write for myself, I also provide knowledge and passion to the field instead .

I have always been intrigued with the way we as creative people
>> creative... you say it a lot about yourself.. although I don't really see it..

I like your idea about making your thesis statement about 3 types of audiences.. but you have to make it well-organized and easy-to-"get".. you didn't really talk much about how "me" is an audience.. and isn't "you" kinda like "them" as an audience?

Try to revise it.. and edit grammatical errors.. you can use other three audience is "you" and "them" are too similar.. like "him, her, and me".. or "the adult, the teenager, and the child." You can make it even more creative by using symbols for each category, but then you'd have to make sure that it's not confusing.. you can describe the kind of design, the colors and details that you create for each category..
OP nuyoguru23 1 / 3  
Dec 4, 2009   #3
Mayada, First off, thanks for going indepth.. I will being to read this now and then may ask questions based on your great feedback.

Thanks again for you time.
george
OP nuyoguru23 1 / 3  
Dec 4, 2009   #4
Ok I am back..

I was attempting to use the "you" "me" & "them" as "It" and make them their own thing, i guess not to successful. I will support the "you, me, them.. " with the design collateral i send in with the statement of purpose.

I have always been intrigued with the way we as creative people
>> creative... you say it a lot about yourself.. although I don't really see it..

I will looking in to being able to show what i mean about being "creative"... and i will not go overboard with the word either. :(

I will look in to explaining the "me" audience better.
the "you" audience to me seems like the direct people that have affected me, while the "them" is the future... because i will not know who i will come across, meet or effect.

thanks you so much, this help. I hope the meaning of the paper came across.
have a great day!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 4, 2009   #5
The first sentence tries to do more than it can do! As a visual communicator, a graphic designer, and a creative individual, it is my job to understand, create, and giveback to my audience.

But that is not quite right!----> As a visual communicator, a graphic design artist, I am a visual communicator whose job is to understand and actualize the vision of my clients. How about that... is that something that inspires you to write a little more? I feel like that is a col sentence...
Mayada 6 / 96  
Dec 6, 2009   #6
I will looking in to being able to show what i mean about being "creative"... and i will not go overboard with the word either. :(

I am sure that you are creative.. but you have to let the essay readers come to that conclusion themselves..

I will look in to explaining the "me" audience better.
the "you" audience to me seems like the direct people that have affected me, while the "them" is the future... because i will not know who i will come across, meet or effect.

The readers won't know what's the difference between you and them.. or at least I didn't.. I got the impression that "you" is speaking to my taste as a reader, and "them" as people who aren't similar to me in taste.. like you're putting every taste into perspective when you design.. but you meant something totally different..

How about changing it to "past, present, and future"? since you already wrote about "you" as the present and "them" as the future.. Using pronouns isn't clear..


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