Hello Everyone.
I'm writing my motivation letter for Erasmus+ Мaster's Programme of EMARO+ . Could you please take a look at my letter? Don't hesitate to correct or modify whatever you feel is needed. And don't have any second thoughts on being direct and honest, that way I can learn more efficiently! :)
Thank you very much!
Dear Sir or Madam,
With this letter I hereby wish to apply and my motivation for the scholarship for the European Master on Advanced Robotics Plus Programme starting in September of the academic year 2015/16. I wish to be trained at an advanced level in various fields of advanced robotics and mechatronics. My ultimate goal is to become an expert researcher in robotic prostheses. I believe that advanced training in a graduate program of such great quality will help me to realize my dream.
I appreciate this opportunity to introduce myself at your university and I perceive it as a perfect opportunity to support my application for the EMARO+ Programme. In high school I graduated with mathematics and physics as my majors, where I finished my 4th and final year with honors. I am continuing my academic career with the study of "Computer-System Engineering and Automatics" at the Faculty of Electrical Engineering and Information Technologies, Ss. Cyril and Methodius University in Skopje, Republic of Macedonia, where in January 2015 I will graduate with a Bachelor of Science degree.
During my undergraduate years I was fascinated by subjects from the fields of Microprocessors, Analog and digital electronics, Sensing devices, Artificial intelligence and Computer-world interaction. As my first exposure to autonomous intelligent robots and advanced robotics I took the course "Introduction to Robotics and Intelligent systems". I was utterly impressed, which complemented with my lifelong curiosity for unmanned exploration and control, paved the way for my further development and research in the field of intelligent autonomous systems. Most of my experience in advanced robotics was research on faculty premises. After being introduced to the Erasmus+ program, I read thoroughly about this program and I found out that it provides the opportunity to study the engineering and development of numerous types of applied advanced robotics.
Throughout my academic career I have shown great interest in spreading the spectra of the knowledge provided by a given course, pushing my research further, as well as always picking up projects that will help me go one step further in understanding the studies and developing proficient ideas using the knowledge gained. By the 3rd year of my undergraduate studies I had already done many projects among which Face Detection software in Matlab, Modeling and Simulation in Simulink, Microcontroller applied projects, Machine learning algorithms in Python and many computer simulated researches. I am proud and fortunate to have participated in a competition such as the Worldwide NASA Apps Challenge where I and my team were working on a cloud based asteroid tracking software. My Graduate project was my first contact with something that is directly connected to robotic prostheses. It being real-time analysis of anthropomorphic hand gestures, is a combination of many fields of studies such as robotics, kinematics, electronics and machine learning. After the project was done I was given the opportunity to develop the project to a more advanced level as part of my independent research. It is genuinely a multidisciplinary project and a proof of my willingness to combine knowledge acquired from the majority of attended courses during the Bachelor studies.
All the experiences acquired from whether courses or internships or extra-curricular activities have helped me carve a definite idea how I want to proceed with my studies and research. Since then, I have always wanted to learn more about the control, movement and algorithmic intelligence of all kinds of autonomous vehicles as well as process and robotic systems. The central focus in my interest of research and further education is the design of advanced robotic s, process systems and with central focus on robotic prostheses.
I want to attend the European Master of Advanced Robotics because of the widely known outstanding educational system of each of the four institution of the Consortium and the excellent educational facilities. After I read carefully the curriculum and the course requirements, I believe that it perfectly matches my research interests and profile and I am confident of my decision. With many distinguished scientists and professors, I know that I will gain expert knowledge at the forefront of discovery. Moreover, by combining my theoretical and specialized education with hands-on research, I will gain critical work experience with the use of your university's advanced equipment and cooperation. All of these strong positives allow me to research autonomous systems and to pursue my dreams and ambitions.
Bearing in mind the previous and given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and research skills as well as the experience gained by multiple internships and extra-curricular activities. I am certain to enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature.
Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your acceptance.
Sincerely yours,
X Y
The reader will be impressed with your very sophisticated sentences structure and style of writing. But I think the reader will assume you are the sort of person who does not know how to dance. If that is true, I sympathize because I can't usually dance well, either. I mention this, because your style of writing seems inhibited. I think you need to loosen up enough to express real ideas from your heart.
This is not supposed to be a demonstration of your ability to write in a formal way. You wrote this:
confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program.... --- This is an example of a comment that could be said of any student. They all want to bring abstract things like enthusiasm, etc. But it doesn't SHOW the reader your real aspirations.
The reader knows most of these essays to not reflect real aspirations (because most people do not have any very clear goals). To say "I want to be a scientist", for example, is not really a goal. "to become an expert researcher in robotic prostheses" is much better than the average student's essay, but it can still be better! I assume you want to be a researcher so that you can make a difference for certain types of people... and perhaps combine ideas from different disciplines.
I believe that a Advanced training in a graduate program of such great quality will help me to realize my dream. --- Here, I don't like' of such great quality' because it makes the whole sentence too abstract to be meaningful.
I don't mean to ask you to rewrite the whole letter. The goal is to build on those GREAT paragraphs where you give specific examples of your accomplishments. I like the middle paragraphs the most. I don't like the first and last paragraph. Think of this as telling a story to the reader. Show the reader what you have accomplished, and show also what you intend to accomplish in the next few years.
: )
Thank you so much for the reply and it was in with perfect timing as I was about to upload it. I know I tried to make it more formal, because I actually was looking through some other really good motivational letters and tried to follow their style. I'll try to be more personal, I guess that's what you meant. :)
