Hello. I am trying to write motivation letter for a master's study in the field of Fluid Mechanics. Could you give feedbacks? I have no experience with them and English is my second language. Thank you for your time.
motivation letter
Philip Kotler once said "Curiosity is the starting point for great science." Now, I'm at that starting point because I am sure what I'm curious about and I want to follow the steps that many other scientists and engineers have taken in XXX.
Since my childhood, my curiosity towards the unknown and the questions I asked to satisfy this curiosity have always formed a link between me and science. This bond was sympathetic when I said I wanted to be a physics professor in the first grade of elementary school. In later years, it felt different to people when I read scientific books in middle school and talked about what I learned. When I started to high school, this bond encouraged me to ask questions and enabled me to take part in projects in different fields. One of them was a biology project on the determination of the genotoxic effect of hair dye and smoking with micronucleus testing and its effect to the ecosystem. With this project, I was awarded with a silver medal in the science category in XXX, which was held in Oswego, New York, USA in 2012. The other one was a model rocket project in the field of physics. My team and I have made several model rockets including their fundamental parts, such as basic rocket engines and drogue recovery systems. We completed the first and second years of the competition in first and third places, respectively, which was organized XXX in Turkey. When I completed high school education, my interest in math and science became prominent that is why I choose engineering and enrolled Mechanical Engineering Department at XXX University.
XXXX University, which proved its qualified education with a MÜDEK certificate (Association for Evaluation and Accreditation of Engineering Programs) , is one of the most privileged universities in Turkey. During my undergraduate education, I have worked on several projects. I have made calculations and design of 180 degree opening hinge and a cross-flow heat exchanger for my system design project and machine design project, respectively. I have selected the Energy branch as my final year specialization field, because it fits with my goal and is related with my favorite courses, Fluid Mechanics and Heat Transfer.
Fluid sciences have fascinated me during my undergraduate studies. For this reason, I wanted to continue my education in the field of energy and in 2020, I was accepted to the graduate program of XXX University, Mechanical Engineering Department. During first semester of my graduate study, importance of mathematical modeling for engineers and applied scientists encouraged me to improve my knowledge about computational methods in fluid mechanics. Hence, I enrolled in diverse courses and studied the disciplines of fluid dynamic, heat transfer and simulation methods. By taking Finite Element Analysis in Thermofluids, Computational Fluid Mechanics on Buildings, Microscale Flow and Heat Transfer courses, and carrying out programming projects and making use of well-known commercial software during my lectures, I have achieved an in-depth knowledge concerning the most important computational methods for engineers including FDM, FVM and FEM. I have completed the first semester with an average of 3.50 / 4.00. Currently, I am taking courses in Turbulent Flow, Heat Transfer and Numerical Methods in Fluid Dynamics, Flow in Separated Flows and Heat Transfer to gain more knowledge about turbulent flows and heat transfer.
With the Falcon 9, an exciting new era of human space exploration has begun and vehicles like reentry capsules will become a key transporting systems to bring humans safely back to Earth or even for that matter land safely on other planets. Understanding the flow physics around these capsules through wind tunnel testing and CFD becomes a critical aspect for the optimal design of reentry vehicles for all flow condition. I want to continue my doctoral studies in the field of aerothermodynamics and do my research in atmospheric re-entry vehicles and thermal protection systems. Therefore, in the first semester of FME program, I am willing to enroll elective courses in Aerodynamics and Combustion, Advanced Heat Transfer and Energetics and Advanced Numerical Simulations. The reason I chose these courses in particular is that I am not only get the information that will help me achieve my goals, but also the excitement of having the opportunity to work with excellent mentors in this field and work in teams with the students selected for this prestigious program. Addition to this, I am interested in Numerical Simulation and Modelling of Turbulent Flows and Cavitation for the research courses. I want to continue my doctoral studies in the field of aerothermodynamics and do my research in atmospheric re-entry vehicles and thermal protection systems. Therefore, in the first semester of FME program, I am willing to enroll elective courses in Aerodynamics and Combustion, Advanced Heat Transfer and Energetics and Advanced Numerical Simulations. The reason I chose these courses in particular is that I am not only get the information that will help me achieve my goals, but also the excitement of having the opportunity to work with excellent mentors in this field and work in teams with the students selected for this prestigious program. Addition to this, I am interested in Numerical Simulation and Modelling of Turbulent Flows and Cavitation for the research courses.
Another reason why I applied for this program is that France is a leading country in many fields of science due to the importance it attaches to disciplined study, quality learning and scientific development. As a person who believes in disciplined work and continuous progress, I want to continue my education in France because I want to contribute to scientific studies by doing my research in such an environment.
I would like to be part of XXX family because with world-leading research opportunities, academic heritage and multicultural environment, XXX offers one of the best master's degree program in fluid mechcanis and energetics to further my goals. Since the content of course offers what I want from graduate schools, strong faculties and solid background, I will be glad to attend to the MSc. in Fluid Mechanics. Also, I would like to have deeper knowledge of cultures and languages. I believe that XXX can provide me this breathtaking experience.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 This is a personal statement. It contains information that shows the development of your interest in Fluid Mechanics. It does not show the actual motivation for your interest in the masters course. You are reaching too far with the reference to Falcon 9, among others. Lower your discussion to the immediate application of this masters course as one of the major motivations for your desire to gain advanced training in this field of specialization. It appears that you are trying to throw in all of the information you think should be included, but actually should be in the career goals and purpose essays. Now, this observation is based on the general rule for writing a motivational statement which are:
- To prove an academic need to gain advanced training in the filed
- The professional necessity that propels you to gain advanced technical knowledge or training
Proving that there is an imperative need for your academic and professional advancement will be the most appropriate motivational presentation in this case. Inclusive to this discussion will be the academic goals that you feel align with the course program the university is offering. It is important that you show how the university courses have motivated your academic interests. You do make reference to this in the essay, but it is incomplete and needs further development.
