Motivation Letter in Geo-information for Natural Hazards, Risk, and Engineering Master Degree

Dear Everyone,

I am writing a short motivation letter with maximum 500 words to apply for a university admission in University of Twente. The letter should state what problem I concern with, why I select the program, and how it can help achieving my goals in the future.

And below is my draft of essay. I need advice or correction for improvement of my draft. Thank you very much.

University of Twente application

Motivation Letter:

Hundreds million people in Indonesia are living in disaster-prone areas, exposed to various kinds of natural disasters. This is a country where we need to live in harmony along with hundreds active volcanoes, earthquakes with more than one per day frequency -some of them may trigger tsunamis-, floods, and landslides everywhere. Yet, Indonesia is lacking of disaster awareness in regional planning.

However, Indonesia is getting better and there has been an array of efforts in reducing disaster risks in recent years including several steps of risk assessment, spatial planning, structural preparedness of buildings, and community awareness due to simultaneous major disasters happened during 2000s. But still, there is a lack of resources in conducting a good geospatial analysis due to the vast area Indonesia has, especially in regional level. To address this issue and be a part of those who thrive to transform Indonesia to be a resilient nation toward disasters encouraged me to pursue higher education in Geo-information Science & Earth Observation for Applied Earth Sciences, with specialization in Natural Hazards, Risk, and Engineer.

Studying Geological Engineering and taking all of natural hazard related courses during my undergraduate program give a strong basic knowledge which is useful in risks assessments. However, having involved in a project of installing landslides and flash flood early warning system conducted by UGM and National Board for Disaster Management in Papua Island and attended several forums discussing disasters risk reduction open up my awareness that it is vital to be able to provides geospatial information accurately for government to enhance the planning policy and for community to improve preparedness. To link up my previous study to practical uses in disaster management by achieving both of understanding and technical skills on evaluating hazard by societal and engineering perspective is the main reason I am keen on joining the course. I am looking forward with great enthusiasm to have an opportunity of learning the "empirical modelling of hazard processes" and "process modelling of natural hazard" modules.

There are rising needs in Indonesia of geospatial analyst as it is an emerging expertise recently recognized its importance by the most of regional governments. Being able to contribute in a government institution reducing disaster risk would be my main purpose in the future and education from the ITC is going to be valuable in facing continuous challenges in hazard management.

I stand strongly that your university offers the perfect blend of courses so that it could be a rigid foundation on which the zenith of my career may lie. With a burning desire to learn more and venture ahead in my favourite field, I apply for the mentioned graduate program that may ultimately stretch my passion of becoming a Disaster Analyst.

@hafizfatah
I think your motivation letter is already good and answer the questions point.
But I notice on your 3rd Paragraph, the first and the second sentence. Are they contrasting each other? because you used "however" as your conjunction.

Hafiz, improve the presentation of this problem statement by combining the first and second paragraphs into a single new paragraph. This will be your statement of the problem and also double as your opening statement. Your essay lacks elements of the "achieving my goals" in the future response. Such a response is related to the reasons why you chose to enroll in a specific university and the program that you will be studying there. How does their program of study relate to the ideas that you have for the resolution of the problem in your country? Which parts of the study program are most relevant to your interests? In your opinion, why would this program be more effective in helping you resolve issues in your home country rather than studying this in your homeland? The motivating factor here should relate to the way that your country's universities do not have the kind of academic offerings that could help you advance your career to the state you wish it to be in so you have to go outside of your country for the education that you desire to have.

@Holt
Thank you, I'll work on that.

@bagusstyawan,
thank you, for that sentence i am trying to say that i am confident wiith my previous studies to cope up with the problems, turn out it still many to work on.