one of the best economics graduate program in Germany
I am a 23 years old Indonesian who has a great passion in economics. I was graduated from Faculty of Economics and Business University of Indonesia. During my time in college, I had great opportunities to deepen my knowledge about economics by choosing some subjects such as development economics, industrial economics, monetary economics, and other related subjects. I managed to complete my study on time and receive a very good GPA (3.22 of 4.0) for my bachelor degree in economics.
After I graduated, I am work as junior researcher at Institute for Development of Economics and Finance (INDEF), one of the best think-tank in economic issues in Indonesia. I handle some research related to the economic issues, such as "Encouraging the Role of Village-Owned Enterprises To Increase Rural Area Economic Development" and "Impact of Financial Technology Lending to Economic Growth in Indonesia". Besides that, I have responsibility to be teaching assistant in Faculty of Economics and Business for three semesters after I graduated.
From that experience, I have proven not only to my family but also to myself that I can be responsible for my own decision and do well in something that I have interest in. That experience also becomes reason of why I am planning to continue my study for my Master degree in economics fields and do great in it as well. Thus, I am so greatly encouraged to continuing my study in the MSc Economics at Universitat Hamburg.
MSc Economics at Universitat Hamburg, as one of the best economics graduate program in Germany, not only give me range of choice and variety of topics in economics but also show me economics in big picture because approaches the issues from a point beyond "homo economicus". Thus, this "research-oriented"graduate program will help me to improve my capabilities as a researcher who can provide accurate and objective analysis of various economic issues. Hamburg as international city also ideal location for coming to grips with the larger economic issues of an economy in the globalized world because of its harbor metropolis and the headquarters of large corporations, NGOs, agencies, and insurance companies.
When I finish my study, which I will be back as a researcher at INDEF, I hope that I can share the new point of view and broader perspective about economic issue in Indonesia. By the new knowledge I will get, I can implement to deepen analysis to solve many economic cases. Universitat Hamburg, who have around 35 scholars from many parts of the world, and I in Indonesia can also expand our network by sharing the benefits of each other so we can give greater impact to economic fields.
Finally, I am hoping for your kind consideration and I do have a great hope to be accepted in this program. Taking the master in MSc Economics at Universitat Hamburg will help me to pursue my dream. I believe I will have a significant role to economic issue in Indonesia and the world after finishing my study.Inzzudinfarras,
I suggest that you review basic grammar rules and punctuation. There were several slips in your essay. I also noticed that you have a tendency to create run-on sentences - or create lines that do not flow naturally. Like what I always tell people, it would be nice if you could articulate things in a precise manner. This means you should shorten your sentences to make them easier to understand.
For instance, I would suggest revising the third paragraph to something similar to this:
From this experience, I have proven to my family and myself that I can be responsible in accomplishing tasks I am interested in. This is also the reason why I am pursuing a postgraduate degree in economics; and I also aim to be successful in this. That being said, I wish to carry on with this dream under the MSc Economics at Universitat Hamburg.
You will notice that I have done two things: ensured that there is an organic flow in structure and capitalized on how this is truly a dream for you. If you emphasize more on the idea that you treat this as something you have been aiming for your entire life, it could heighten your chances. There were instances, however, wherein the admissions essay had sections that were quite repetitive already (mentioning how this is your dream, that you are a competent learner). While these sections are good, you should still consider adding more of a personal touch. Perhaps tell a story about your life that makes it more intimate for the admission's officer. People are touched by stories.
You should also consider adding a section from your letter dedicated to showcasing your skills and how you can contribute to the university. It is imperative that you can show that not only is this your dream - but that you can also bring something to the table that other applicants do not. Keep in mind that they receive hundreds if not thousands of applications. Show why you are different - and explicitly mention why your Indonesian background makes you an exceptional candidate.
Best of luck.
