This is my personal statement for my medical school application. Doesn't have to be specific about any particular school.
Any critique is great appreciated specially grammar errors. Thank you so much
I will always remember that night when I got back from school knowing my grandfather just passed away. I have never thought that this would affect me so deeply. For all I could remember, he had a Cerebral Vascular Stroke when I was at a very young age. This has paralyzed his whole body. All I can remember of him was a lying, emotionless old man lying on bed whiles the rest of my cousins and I surround him every New Year talking to him knowing there would be no response. However, witnessing him being buried down never to be seen again was much more difficult than I ever imagine. We busted out in tears. That moment made me realized there are certain bonds between people at the moment they were born. Sometimes we can't realize those bonds as we have no or very little connection with the people but it's still there. Only when we about to lose them, we realize their existence, and sometimes it's too late. Knowing I will never want to leave any of love one again, healthcare will always be where my career heading me. However, I did not know what to do as I understand no one can live forever.
It's the summer of 2007. I arrived in the US for the first time with dream and hope. I was so excited and thrilled for all the experience I was about to have. I was given once of a life time opportunities. From that moment, I realized it's would never be the same for me. However, soon enough, the sweet of a new adventure began to fade, replaced with the bitter of reality. Things were very difficult in a new land. Everything was different. People talk in different ways, about different things, and in a different language. It's not easy to connect with other people especially when we are not speaking the same language. The feeling that you are apart from everybody else is not an easy feeling. Imagine walking across the hallway and the people you know are actually across the earth. The following weeks, I changed my habits little by little. I became much better at time management. I also try to be more organized so I can fit other activities in my schedule. I always love soccer. I joined a couple pick up soccer games after school, which I enjoy. I found some people who share my interest. We talked and soon enough we became friends. I also noticed the difference in culture and try to be more appropriate. Before I know it, I was able to adapt myself with the changes in the cultures. I left behind my culture shock as I can learn so much from other different culture. Different cultures teach people to approach a problem in different ways. You can either tackle it down with a direct approach and constantly work to improve the efficiency; or you can think outside of the box and take a different approach. I know I need to combine the spirit of never giving up as I was raised by my culture with the ability to think critically to make the best out of this life time experience.
However, I'm still not sure about my career goal, and what I want to do in healthcare. It all changed in the summer of 2010. I came back home to visit my family and friends only to realize one of my aunts was diagnosed with breast cancer. We didn't know what stage it was yet but she was devastated. We tried our best to comfort her. All my cousins and I gathered around her every night. We talked, tried to make her laugh, and kept her happy or as it would seem. There were times when she just began to cry. We knew how hard it is for her to hold it in but sometimes it's just impossible. One night, she said to us one thing that would change my thought forever. She said that "no matter what happens, she would be happy to take it, she would be scared but happy because at least she knows in the end, in her life, she did the right things, and in these last moments, she still has everyone around." That's when I realized it's true that people will die one day but in the end, the most important thing is to figure what you are supposed to do in life. Some people don't realize what they really want until the very end. They might thought they do but when it's too late, they realize it's not. When people think that it's their last moment, everything will become clear to them what they really want. I want to be that person who can give those people another chance in life. Everyone deserves one. As a doctor, I can help them just live a little longer, and maybe then, it would not be too late for them to do what they actually want. Only then, they can leave in happiness and that would make their family and loved one relieved.
I I never thought this would affect my future so seriously.
have never thought that this would affect me so deeply.
This has paralyzed his whole body.This made his whole body paralyzed.
All I can remember of him was alying, emotionless old man lying on bed
whileswhile the rest of my cousins and I surround him every New Year talking to him knowing there would be no response.
.... the word "lying" is getting repeated.All I remember of him is the scene on every New Year day that he was lying in his bed with a feeble and emotionless look while my cousins and I kept talking to him knowing there would be no response.