Hello everyone. I would like your help in my
SOP for MSc in Accounting at Manchester Business School.
Any help regarding essay structure, key points, grammar, and vocabulary would all be appreciated.
"Come over here, I want to tell you a story", said my mother every weekend after we had finished dinner. Most of her stories were fiction stories with a moral lesson, but she would slowly share stories of her life living in a small island village with barely enough money to afford education. On a certain day, as I was contemplating on which university and major to choose for the next step in my studies, she told a different story. It was a story of how my father was fired from his job as a financial controller at a reputable hotel in my town. In short, my father was caught embezzling the profits earned by the hotel. The hotel was audited after the boss of the hotel found multiple money transfers which would then be transferred back after a certain amount of time had passed. The bank account was tracked, and it led to my father as the bearer of the account. My mother ended the story with a message that whatever major I chose and the job I ended up in the future, I would have to be responsible with the power and authority I would be holding. The story made me realize that fraud, embezzlement, and corruption are prevalent in this world, and I want to become someone who can bring light to the various mishandlings that devious people/corporation do for their own personal gain. I decided that I want to become an auditor myself.
To be an auditor, I would first need to learn more about the world of accounting, which led to my BBA specializing in Accounting & Finance. The next natural step would then be for me to continue my studies, deepen my knowledge and prepare myself to get a job, preferably in a country with a strong business hub. Alliance Manchester Business School is the perfect choice for me as it ticked many of my ideal choices for my next step in my studies. As the United Kingdom's 'ORIGINAL' modern city, the world's first industrialized city, and now one of the biggest economic hubs in the UK and the world, Manchester offers loads of potential jobs and opportunities, meaning that there will also be more demands for the services provided by accounting firms whether big or small. It is a perfect platform for me to 'APPLY' the theories and practices learnt during my studies. Being one of the oldest business school in the UK, getting my masters in the UK would enable me to interact with smart and motivated people in an environment that has successfully nurtured the 'THINKING' minds of many successful businessman such as former KMPG UK Chairman Simon Collins and former chairman of the London Stock Exchange Sir Donald Cruickshank. Should I get the offer to enroll, I am looking forward to learning from some of the best lecturers that the university has to offer. Specifically, I can imagine myself talking for hours about Audit Technology with Professor William Turley, who had recently published a publication about the incorporation of Big Data Analytics into audit firms.
Being an auditor requires certain skills and capabilities such as critical thinking, attention to detail, and problem-solving skills. I would argue that I had started developing those skills during my time in Japan. After 2 years of part-time work at a convenience store, I had earned the trust of the owner and manager to be able to handle day-to-day closing entries. I had to be careful in entering the data to minimize any potential trouble, and in cases where the account does not balance out, I had to figure out what caused the issue and solve the problem. The rigorous and challenging nature of the MSc Accounting course would then enable me to further polish and develop those skills. From that experience, I have also learnt about the accounting systems and practices that Japan is currently utilizing, and I would be more than happy to share my knowledge with the rest of my peers.
to explain a little bit about the 3 air quoted and bolded world 'ORIGINAL', 'APPLY', & 'THINKING', it is an attempt to incorporate Manchester Business School's brand of "Original Thinking Applied". Do you guys think it's too forced? Are the bold and air quote unnecessary? Any idea on how to incorporate it better? Please give input on this as well.
Once again, any help is much appreciated.
Thanks in advance for the help.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 12,703 4121
Fabian, without knowing what the actual sop prompt requirements are, I can tell you that this paper is not going to work for the basic SOP purposes because your information, as presented, is more related to the personal statement aspect and motivational considerations. As such, the SOP is not appropriately stated in this essay. The SOP should be able to represent important details with regards to your undergraduate and professional training in relation to your chosen masters course.
In this instance, you would need to revise the whole essay and use certain parts of this essay in the new version. Paragraph 2 and 3 work well for the professional training requirements, but paragraph 1 is not necessary. I know that you want to integrate keywords from the objectives and mission of the university but throwing in the words, without actually relating it to you in an expanded manner does not work well. Instead, it appears that you are merely applying lip service to the presentation, hoping to impress the reviewer. My advice is, don't use the keywords. Instead, show the reviewer how you embody these characters. It is one thing to "imply" and another thing to "embody". It is the latter that you have to show, without trying too hard to present it.
Now, a standard SOP explains the following information in paragraph form:
Par. 1: The "purpose" of your advanced studies. Not to be confused with the motivation which is the "reason" for the study. The "purpose" explains what your end game is for the course of study.
Par. 2: An explanation of your academic achievements as an undergraduate. Include any relevant internships and awards you received as a student to lay the groundwork for your actual academic preparedness to complete the course.
Par. 3: Your current work experience and how it relates to your MS course choice. Include any continued education references such as profession related seminars and training programs. These will explain your professional development, goals, and requirements for advanced studies and training.
Par. 4: The reasons why you chose the university, base the explanation on your academic and professional learning goals and why this university can help you achieve these purposes. A simple study plan reference may also be included in this section. The study plan will show the reviewer how you plan to spend your time as a student at the university and convince him that you are serious about completing your MS course.
Par. 5: Explain the potential real world application of your studies in relation to your 5 year career plan. This should be the concluding part of the essay so make this portion as strong as possible with a convincing closing statement.
If your SOP comes with any specific prompt requirements, you will need to work it into the aforementioned paragraph presentations. That will help to increase the profile of your application and also create a more interesting presentation for your existing information.