So You want to be a parelegal, how come?

Hi all! this is the first time I am using this website so please be nice I was asked to write a personal statement on why i want to become a paralegal. there really wasnt much of a format other then why and what will i do so here goes nothing:

Martin Luther King once said "Take that first step in faith...you may not see the whole staircase, but take that first step." Becoming a paralegal for me would be the first step in a legal career. Law firms and even attorneys in private practice rely heavily on the accuracy of information their paralegals provide them. Their practical skills and technical proficiency is an asset to their practice. I have always been fascinated with the law as it applies to Alternative Dispute Resolution, Matrimonial Law, Criminal and Civil Law and preparation for litigation and trial. I have spent a lot of my career as a mediator but have always felt that I was meant to have for a more active role in the legal field. When I applied for graduation from John Jay College I noticed that something was missing from my transcript, I did not declare a concentration. I looked at all the course work that I had completed during my time there and noticed that all the classes I enjoyed the most were in Law, the court, and criminal justice. In those classes I felt like I belonged. It felt natural to me; my ability to articulate my position, to think on my feet, and my passion for justice became all the more advantageous. I had a passion for the law and I did not know at the time where that love and drive would take me. I was offered an internship that allowed me the opportunity to work inside Family Court I mediated case for parents that found themselves in litigation for custody of their children. As my experience in mediating cases I was allowed mediated cases in criminal and civil court. It was at that point that I knew that the inside of a court room is where I wanted to be. I hope to obtain a certificate in Paralegal Studies from this institution because I feel that the research and writing techniques of the legal field are not something that my current career would supply me with. These techniques are only learned through vigorous training and course work. I have been fortunate enough to wear many hats throughout my career: I was a Mediator, Trainer, Case Planner, and an Advocate, but the one hat that I always felt I was meant to wear was that of an Attorney. I intend to use what I learned as a vehicle to help me achieve my ultimate goal of working in a law firm and becoming a Collaborative Attorney in private practice. I believe the diversity of my resume and my academic background, my drive, my passion for justice and the tools that I have learned in your institution will allow me the opportunity to work in a law firm.

Hah, ha, okay, I'll try!

Use a comma before quoted stuff:

Martin Luther King once said, "Take that first step in faith...you may not see the whole staircase, but take that first step."

This is a run-on sentence:
When I applied for graduation from John Jay College I noticed that something was missing from my transcript, I did not declare a concentration.
When I applied for graduation from John Jay College I noticed that something was missing from my transcript; I had not declared a concentration.-----I don't know if I like this sentence! It suggests that you did not realize you forgot to declare a concentration!

You have a great, eloquent way of writing, but you did not use any paragraphs! You cannot write in all one long paragraph. That is like when someone calls you on the phone and tells you 10 different things without stopping to take a breath. The reader cannot follow it.

You have great potential as a writer, I think, so check out Strunk and White. Divide this essay into paragraphs. Think of one or two important ideas you want the reader to remember, and express them at the end of some of the paragraphs after you divide this into paragraphs.

:-) Welcome to essayforum!!