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"People could find my name amont Notable Oslo Graduates" - Statement for Economics

Rashad 3 / 8  
Oct 21, 2011   #1
I am writing to express my interest in applying for a Master's Degree in Economics at the University of Oslo starting in autumn 2012. My decision to choose the Economics programme in Oslo mainly grounds on under given factors :

I finished my secondary school by the high marks in 2007 and at the same year I was admitted to Azerbaijan State Oil Academy. My first degree in Economics, International Economical Relations and Management from Azerbaijan State Oil Academy . My academic performance has been always on top of class, both, at the secondary school and at the university. Beside of this, I made a lot of academic researches and experiences in economic field during the university years . In addition, I was the receipent of scholarship's State Oil Academy during the four years, British Petroleum(Azerbaijan branch). at the last course of the university and SOCAR's fullbright scholarship.

This specific Master Programme comes from the fact that in the near future I would like to get to know more concepts, like modern economics and addresses issues such as business cycles, economic development, the functioning of markets and strategic interaction, the factors of motivation in firms and labour markets, how income is generated and distributed, and the role of economic policy . Thus, I work in "Elshan Ltd" ( Oil&Gas marketing company ) as an Assistant Manager from 2008 until now and I already got some ideas in my head. However, unfortunately until now I did not have the comprehensive knowledge and the right tools for elaborating and increasing them in practice. That is why I know that this Master Programme would be an excellent starting point for my further academic performance in order to reach PhD level.

South Caucasus especially. Azerbaijan plays an urgent role in the world's economical connectivity. Thus, the great projects -BTC and Nabucco which possess vital position in order to branch out natural energy resources to the Europe which are very important for providing fuel demands of European countries. If I am selected for the programme it will be an excellent starting point not only for my further education and career, but also a great opportunity for our government's projects.

In addition, as a being developing country our government has been always need well - educated employees. Fight with the corruption overturned priority of our Republic since our second independence in 1991. Hence, numerous students were sent to developed countries in order to get well - educated specialists by the Government. If I am chosen, I believe, I will be very useful and productive not only in economical improvement and development of my country, but also legal economical prosperity of society by the help of education which this specific Master programme will give me.

Moreover, I would like to emphasize that our countries have got similar hallmarks in economical, social and locality fields..Thus, oil, gas and fishing constitute major economical durability both countries. I hope the knowledge that I will get in UiO will give me opportunities to apply it to economical improvement of Azerbaijan. if I will get elected for this programme I will have the opportunity to learn from one of the best and the fact that I will study in Economics will give me the privilege to create new relationships with people from different cultures for making the world smaller. I am also aware of the kind of dedication and perseverance I will need to have for achieving the best results in the field and I believe my background will qualify me for such a Master Programme.

I would like to avoid say-ing clichés, but I believe that "diligence is the mother of good luck and success", You could be sure that I have enough educational background and motivation not to disappoint you. I hope you will accept me for aspired program and give me a chance to realize my dreams. If chosen, I will do my best to achieve success at your university as well as in every aspect of my life. And may be one day people could find also my name in the list of Notable Oslo Graduates.

Best regards,
Rashad Allahverdiyev.

Please help to enhance my statement's quality. Thanks all before!

admission2012 - / 481 90  
Oct 21, 2011   #2

Your work and academic experiences are amazing. However, your command of the English language is poor. This will be evident to Admissions staff when they read this essay as almost every sentence has some form of grammatical error. Also, the flow of the essay is a bit off. Always start a personal statement by talking more about your reasons for applying to the program. Then you should talk about your research, work and academic experiences and finally close the essay by talking about how that particular program can help you achieve your goals. - admissions essay advice
OP Rashad 3 / 8  
Oct 21, 2011   #3
Thank you a lot, i'll post it again after revising.

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