Pharmcas- Pharmacy school personal statement!

This is typical personal statement for pharmacy school. please let me know if there's anything I need to change!
4500 character limited

experience in Cebu

Even though I grew up in an environment surrounded by pharmacy, nothing allowed me to understand the importance of the work until my volunteer trip to Cebu, Philippines. I was an eleven-year-old from South Korea, and my mother, as a pharmacist, brought me there to help her with her philanthropic pharmacy volunteer mission. Once we arrived there, it felt as though I was transported to a completely different world. The sight of a completely run-down village, and the overwhelming stench of pure waste is what awaited me as I stepped out of the vehicle that brought us to our camp site. Hundreds of local villagers, whom didn't speak the same language as us, immediately lined up each day to obtain whatever medical attention they needed. As the days went on, the work became more and more grueling, which led me to ponder on why my mother would put us in this situation. Why would she bring us here when we could be enjoying a nice vacation somewhere else? I knew that I was suffering due to the intensive labor in the hot and humid climate, and it was obvious that my mother was suffering as well, but she would never show it. Every single time a patient would come for help, she would welcome them and treat their ailments with a smile on her face, and every time they left they would leave with the expression of pure joy on their faces, as if they had just been cured of cancer. I still clearly remember their repeating expression, "Maraming salamat po", which means thank you in Tagalog. I began to understand that it didn't matter that I was under a fair amount of distress, because the amount of suffering that I had to go through was nothing compared to the potential suffering, and even death, that these villagers were saved from. I wanted to give them not just any help, but a medical care they are in need of. In order to pursue my passion, I have to become someone who has professional knowledge of medicines for various illnesses. That was the moment I started to admire to become a pharmacist like my mother and the moment still sticks with me to this day.

This experience in Cebu changed my entire perspective when transitioning back into daily life in South Korea. Starting my sophomore year of college, I had a chance to work as pharmacy technician at pharmacy in Ulsan, South Korea during every school breaks. Since my local area grew more and more diverse, I also grew a fascination with multiculturalism. This also posed problems because there were very clear language barriers between pharmacists and foreign patients that were difficult to overcome. People from all over the world, such as Nepal, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, Thailand, and Japan, started coming to the pharmacy with their medical needs, but their Korean language level was pretty low, which made treating their specific needs very strenuous. This barrier was made very clear when our regular Nepali patient came running into the pharmacy in a panic and was frantically explaining how his child just lapsed into a coma. We weren't able to understand him until we eventually used poor quality translation websites to finally figure out the proper medication his child needed. This life threatening experience allowed me to realize that we needed a system to deal with these language barriers. Over time, and with a lot of communication with on-site pharmacists, I created a translated OTC guide brochure and database that allowed foreign patients to search their particular symptoms in their languages, which then allowed us to give them the proper medication. So far, I've formulated the guide in Nepali, Sinhala, Japanese, Thai, Lao, and Vietnamese. Seeing patients use the guide to help their needs, and then seeing their happiness when their needs are met, gives me an extreme amount of gratification.

These experiences throughout my life have led me to want to pursue a career as a community pharmacist in a multicultural setting, as well as participating in philanthropic pharmacy volunteer work, just as my mother did. The doctor of pharmacy degree will let me become a pharmacist that I've been dreamed of and the knowledge that I will obtain through pharmacy school will allow me to fulfil my uttermost passion in helping those in need.

First of all, let me praise you, you did a great job!

About the content. From my perspective, it will be more appropriate if you avoid going too deep into details in your stories, outlining main problems that exist and showing how you found out about them shortly will be enough.This will give you space to mention why you choose this university and this department. May be it's about a specific programme that they conduct or subjects you want to follow. I would be more precise about how the degree would help to solve the problem that i mentioned.

Wish you luck!

The main thing that I find confusing here is that as a pharmacist, your mother was never in a position to diagnose the patients. She only administered medication. Yet in the discussion, you make it appear like your mother was providing medical diagnosis to the patients rather than just dispensing medication. You may want to clarify that point so as to avoid any confusion regarding what your and your mother's task was during that visit to Cebu, Philippines. Your depiction is misleading and could make your experience questionable. Clarify to show that you were both there to just administer medicines, not diagnose them. Adjust the content of that paragraph accordingly to suit the clarification of your actual roles during that trip. Save for that observation on my part, I believe the essay is strong and provides a clear idea regarding your determination to become a licensed pharmacist that can help your application.