Physical Therapy: Characteristics you possess that would make an excellent PT

I am applying to PT school and have a short essay that asks "Which personal characteristics and professional behaviors do you possess that will assist you to be come an excellent physial therapist?" The problem with this is that there is a 1200 character limit and I have having a very hard time trying to be able to thoroughly answer the question with such a length restraint. Here is what I have so far. The second paragraph and third paragraph are two separate options. I don't feel as though the second paragraph is complex enough whereas the third paragraph is too long. Any help would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you!

Multiple factors contribute to the successful outcome of therapy including proper technique, thorough education, and appropriate follow up by the client or patient. A therapist's personal characteristics may have an even larger impact. Interpersonal skills, patience, problem-solving skills, accountability and motivation are all essential for the physical therapy profession. Working as a Rehab Tech at Saint Mary's Hospital for the past year made me aware of both of my strong suits and shortcomings in the skills required.

As a tech, I have noticed I can communicate efficiently and easily with patients. I have been able to find different solutions to problems that arise within treatment. I have held patients accountable for performing at their maximum potential. Above all, I have learned patience is one of the most important characteristics to have. My amount of patience has increased dramatically since starting my job.

*(SECOND OPTION) In the winter of 2011, I was working with a patient with multiple sclerosis. The crippling disease overcame his body in a short amount of time, leaving him and his family stunned. Treatment after treatment, I saw vast improvements in his mobility. One afternoon, we told him we were going to try to stand. Discouraged, the patient repeated that he could not stand. I encouraged him and stayed positive telling him he could do it and we would be right by his side. After several attempts, the young man stood. I looked up to see tears streaming down his face and the words "I'm standing!" come out of his mouth. During this experience I used many of the skills an excellent therapist requires.

Hi,

I have a suggestion:
I think you should use the second option, because to me, I was more interested in reading your story and knowing your experiences than reading the 1st option (which is about how good you are without any proof showing that you're that good).

However, it'd be better if you could add a little bit more about what you did that demonstrated your characteristics and professional behaviours to help your patient to that 2nd option, not just a brief sentence: I used many skills.

Just my opinion. Hope I can help.

Good luck!

Thao,

I sincerely appreciate your input! The reason the first option is so vague is because of the 1200 character limit. I have no room to be able to explain why I am good at those things while still making it a formal essay. The second option, where I actually show proof, is too long. I was hoping someone could guide me in suggesting a shorter way to be able to prove that I posssess these important qualities.