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Physician Assistant narrative essay- "Recovering brother"


rachelle2011 1 / -  
Sep 18, 2011   #1
I just finished revising my narrative for Physician Assistant school from last year and would REALLY appreciate some feedback. This is my second time applying and application deadlines are approaching. Anything is GREATLY APPRECIATED, THANK YOU!!! The prompt is "What are your motives to be a PA?"

FYI: I am at 5,060 characters and need to get to 5,000 and below. Any suggestions? Ok, here we go.

He was sitting next to me in the passenger seat of my car. It was just he and I, my older brother. We were not conversing with each other, but he was speaking aloud with someone regarding who I was and my trustworthiness. His eyes, crimson with disturbance, revealed someone unfamiliar to me. I told him, "You know I can hear everything you're saying. I'm sitting right next to you." He ignored my comment, fidgeted in his seat, and resumed his dialogue. Being the closest person to him suspicious of his abnormal behavior, I sprung to my resources in search of a diagnosis where I recognized signs of Schizophrenia. Finally convincing my parents against their denial, we took him to the hospital where his physicians concluded that as a result of depression and past drug abuse, he was in fact suffering from Schizophrenia. They immediately started him on medication to stop the hallucinations and informed us that his complete recovery was unlikely. When this happened six years ago, it felt as though my only sibling died and we were left with his empty shell. With the collective support from his family and team of physicians, we have helped him onto a path of steady recovery. That unwavering medical support has continued to inspire me as I strive to assume my own role in the medical field to do the same.

This being my subsequent attempt applying for a physician assistant program, I do not perceive it as my second try. Rather, I consider it my first since acquiring a newly developed understanding of the profession with the necessary experience. Last semester, I did not just excel in my anatomy class; I fell in love with anatomy. This summer, I stayed indoors studying diligently to sit for the GRE exam. I took upon the imperative task of shadowing a few physician assistants and have worked closely with two since earlier this year. To finally see the role performed before me in such close proximity was like walking into the bustling kitchen of my favorite restaurant. I was a fan who finally met the makers and it only solidified my taste into a passion. I keep those rejection letters close as a reminder that in order to improve the lives of others, I must first improve my own.

At the Institute for Neurological Research I gained experience as a medical assistant as our office offered a newly pioneered treatment for Alzheimer's patients, most of whom were at their last limb of resources. Mr. Kramer, a charming ex-pilot of WWII who we saw weekly, would have a short-term memory reset every five minutes. With patience and a reassuring smile, I comforted him through his vulnerability so that our physicians could administer the frightening and sometimes painful injection method. Even though Mr. Kramer and most of our other patients would not remember us in the long-run, helping their loved ones gain a few more years with them, just as my brother's physicians did for me, was the reward surpassed mentioning.

Volunteering at the UMMA Community Clinic in South Central Los Angeles has been one of the most meaningful experiences to date. Offering free quality healthcare to the surrounding impoverished neighborhoods of expansive diversity, I was exposed to a wide array of conditions. More importantly, I witnessed the positive transformation that basic healthcare has on individuals and communities. I know that as a future physician assistant I will be able to contribute more comprehensively to this universal mission of providing the medically underserved with primary healthcare.

At Senta Clinic Neurosurgery, the physician assistants I currently work with, Amanda and Felix, have been instrumental in reinforcing my endeavors for the profession. They personified the quintessential qualities one must have: to be highly skilled and knowledgeable, warm and personable, and to work well both autonomously and as part of a healthcare team. Our patients always express their satisfaction of care with them because of their extra effort. Considering the nature of our subspecialty, most of our patients have often pressing requests and it takes the collective energy of the whole office to ensure those are met in a timely manner. In this position, I have strengthened my existing team skills and have also closely observed the extremely effective collaboration of the physician and physician assistant together.

Despite the low odds of gaining personal motivation back, my brother is now pursuing a career in real estate. The reassurance of his continued recovery influences me to more fervently pursue this career in hopes that I can support other people in need of beating the odds against them, small or large. I am confident in my future as a physician assistant with my extensive team-centered medical experience, familiarity with multi-cultural and socially diverse communities and being a minority myself, and shear passion for a profession of serving those in need. Thank you for the opportunity of applying to your program and the consideration of nurturing my endeavors to join the future of this thriving career.
chadbinghay 4 / 6  
Sep 18, 2011   #2
Well, you could shorten the first paragraph. Some parts of it are kind or redundant. Overall great essay!


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