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Professional and cultural experiences shaped your career goals/ how this major will help to that

sravyareddyk 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2021   #1

Describe your career goals.

How have professional and cultural experiences shaped your career goals and how will this degree help you achieve those goals

Double-spaced paragraphs. Maximum 2 pages . FIRST DRAFT.

Puzzles were always fascinating to me, mostly because they allowed me to concentrate on one thing without any disturbance. All I had to do at that moment is figure out where the puzzle pieces go. One step after the other. One of my fondest memories of my grandmother is her bringing me puzzles every time she visits us. She would try to teach me her special recipes would urge me to solve the puzzles. Although at the start, learning recipes and figuring out how to solve a puzzle sounded boring. I was not good at solving puzzles straight away, I was careless with the pieces resulting in my puzzle being incomplete, I had a short span of interest and patience. But my grandmother urged me to solve them, she baited me with cookies to get the right answer from the puzzle. I remember, her being so proud when I solved the pieces.

Every year, the difficulty level of the number of pieces increased. I was not always good at solving puzzles, and I am not the first one to do either, in fact, the children of our culture are expected to solve problems. Being Asian, as children, we are all expected to ace in all the fields, especially education. My grandmother had her own ways to teach me or make me interested in a thing. She pointed out how cooking too, is like solving a puzzle, you put the ingredients in the right order and we will have the perfect results. Over time, what started as a sour task, turned into an enjoyable pastime. I looked forward to meeting her every month to see what puzzle I would get and what recipe I would learn.

When you look closely everything is a puzzle, fit in the pieces perfectly, in order to get the best results. When I chose my path as a computer science and engineering undergraduate, I aimed to solve different problems with innovative technologies. Throughout the way I had been part of many extracurricular activities and projects where I got to highlight different abilities of mine and learn new things to add to my skill set, I thoroughly enjoyed my role of leadership and the teamwork that came with these projects and roles.

Being a computer science and engineering undergraduate student, I had not only understood how to solve a few problems, but also learn about new mutated issues. As technology develops, we discover the underlying issues of another. In order for the business to grow more and we must understand the demands of the current trends. With this interest in the field, I had worked on projects such as "Data analysis on Automobile Production" and "Detecting impersonators in examination hall" both of which would help the industry in their current field to succeed with the results.

After graduating I had decided to gain industry experience by working at a multinational corporation. When I started working, I had a feeling that I missed a very crucial piece in the puzzle. My work had challenged every technical aspect I spend strengthening in undergraduate. Although my job had continued to challenge me and made a way for me to learn more and grow more professionally. It still felt incomplete at the end of the day. I was not satisfied with my background and knowledge in just computer science and engineering. I realized that I would like to work along with the data and to be able to make decisions and aid the company towards betterment and gains, knowing technical aspects is just not enough.

To articulate a very bizarre comparison, like cooking there is no use even when we have all the ingredients available if we do not know how to effectively use it to make a better outcome. Data has proven to be a crucial piece in gathering information. We have a whole lot of data available to us currently. When we have information, we have a chance to use it in an effective method combined with technology to transform the firm and its people. We use the technology and business elements to either modify or change the business plan when necessary. MIS is the only course that focuses on both information technology and management practices. This is the only course which offers to stay on top of modern technology, how to use the data effectively to business benefit and betterment of the employees, and be able to cultivate all the business prospects. To completely understand and help a business to develop in the most strategic way, MIS the right course.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Dec 14, 2021   #2
The puzzle reference is more of a family tradition than a cultural tradition, which is what the essay is asking you to discuss. I believe the essay will be better served in reference to the cultural experiences if you replace the puzzle section with some other cultural tradition that could maybe tie in with the puzzle, or not. Remember, the reviewer is looking at you from the perspective of a potential diversity applicant. The more diverse the culture of your country, as opposed to your family culture / traditions, the better you will come across in the consideration aspect. The culture of your society should have some contribution to the way you shaped your career goals.

She would try to teach me her special recipes would urge me to solve the puzzles.

This sentence is kind of disconnected. There is a missing thought reference somewhere in the middle. Maybe skip this part and focus on revising the puzzle reference only? This paragraph does not exactly fit the prompt requirement anyway.
OP sravyareddyk 1 / 1  
Dec 14, 2021   #3
Thank you so much for the review. i really appreciate it. Considering this is my first draft and I think I change the main subject to something more culturally accurate. How good is the first draft? Do I have a long way to go with the way I framed my paragraphs or the direction the essay went

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