Respected Sir/Madam,
I want my statement of purpose to be reviewed.Please take time to look into it and tell me how to improve it and what changes need to be made.
Thanks!!!
Anuradha.
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"The person who makes a success for living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly". Throughout my life I have always done things for the realization of my goals. In my early age, I was an obese child, and was generally mocked by fellow classmates because of that. I lost 25 pounds with my sheer determination and hard work. During those days I would do around 1000 sit ups. I started by doing 10 or 20, but I had challenged myself that I will do 500 in two weeks and then 1000 in one month and I did it. One thing I realized, with this whole incident is that if you have put your heart into something and you are ready to work hard towards it, there is nothing you can't achieve. Due to this rigorous exercise, I started enjoying sports in general. I have won many running competition and relay race in school and college.
I have always had a strong inclination towards science and math's and through my penchant hard work, always stood first in my class. I thoroughly enjoyed studying physics, chemistry and math's. I was always fascinated by the various facets of science. I would read books of undergraduate level, during my high school just to satiate my curiosity. I got a very good rank in the engineering entrance, held by the state. I was among the top 10%, of the people who were selected. I was the first girl from my school to get through the entrance. I got the college of my choice and the branch of my choice. The first time I used computer was in my 9th grade. At that time itself I was intrigued as to how it works. I joined some classes to learn computers but I was not satisfied by just learning excel, word etc. With the desire to learn deep, I selected Computer Science and Engineering stream, as my undergraduate major. During my under graduation, a good and balanced syllabus throughout the four years helped me hone my skills and shape my domain knowledge. I was exposed to a wide range of subjects like data structures, Database management systems, Principles of operating systems, microprocessors , programming languages, computer networks to name a few. I had a strong inclination towards programming and computer networks. My final year project was "Online Auction Management". We implemented it in JAVA/J2EE. It was a web site for online auction. The main activity includes Registration, bidding selling and buying. The front end pages were in JSP and the server side was implemented in Servlets. MS-SQL was used as the back end for this project.
My 2 years of experience as a Software engineer at Ambrosia InfoTech nurtured my abilities and problem solving skills. During these years, I had the opportunity to learn both the client and server side programming with JAVA/J2EE as the platform and to work with good people. With my dedication and my ability to work in a team got me few accolade from client as well as from my team people.
My ultimate career objective is to make commendable contributions to the field of computing. I have determined that a dedicated study on computer science will enable me to aggregate all my previous knowledge and experience on the field and encourage in achieving my career goal. I am confident that my academic as well as practical knowledge combined with my eagerness to do research exhibit the perseverance and zeal required to pursue Master's Degree at your reputed university. My coursework along with my extensive computer science background will allow me to function well within the graduate program. I believe that a graduate will be a milestone in my career by guidance from some of the best professors in this field and to grow with them as an individual of substance.
Your introduction paragraph is very impressive, and congratulations on the same. This really shows your dedication and mentality towards achieving something. However after this, you might want to rewrite it.
SOP is to inform the faculty about applicant's intentions/purposes at the university and after graduating. This is what they want to know through one's SOP. Now for doing this, applicant's might need to refer to their past achievements, but not just that. So from my understand SOP should contain, more of what exactly is your purpose by doing MS at this university and what are your plans after graduation, and less of your achievements/experiences/influential incidents . Achievements/experiences/influential incidents could be very useful in justifying or connecting your purpose part. And it is always better not to make very general statements like "My ultimate career objective is to make commendable contributions to the field of computing,"
Rest is your's, all the best
You could try to talk your interest and intention in attending interesting computer network courses that are given at the university, interest to participate in some research project in a computer network lab. Make sure that you motivate these choices with your past experiences/achievements like a bridge. You could also talk about a dream job that you wish to have upon graduation, and discuss how and which courses or projects could help you to achieve this goal, etc.
I think you get an idea of the underlying strategy here.
