Statement of purpose for study in the USA
I am planning to apply to a renewable energy master over the united states . But since I am not a native english speaker I had a number of difficulties writing my SOP. Could you please help me enhance it .I really need your feedback .Thanks in advance .:)
Here is my SOP:
It all started that Wednesday when I actually began working on my capstone project. In Morocco, several southern regions suffer from severe water scarcity, so I thought of working on optimizing the north-south water transfer system in the country. As I was looking up Morocco's water resources characteristics, I was surprised to find that the country is going to face hydraulic stress in a couple of years. Desalination seemed to be the only solution that could help Morocco overcome this alarming issue; though due to its energy intensive nature, desalination use is very limited in the country. Then I thought that coupling desalination with renewable energy could serve as a good alternative to solve this problem, Morocco is not short in terms of renewable energies; it has both great solar and wind energy potentials. The only thing that might hinder the success of this initiative is Morocco's lack of experience in the renewable energy field. On that Wednesday, not only did I change my capstone topic, but also my career's choice, I decided to pursue my studies in renewable energies, In other words, I decided to be part of the saving plan of my country. The first step I should take to achieve this is to seek a master's degree in renewable energies.
The choice I have made was not only driven by the motive of duty. I had always felt a strong connection with nature; it is my source of inspiration. When I was a child, I used to watch documentaries and read encyclopedias as to understand how environmental phenomena occur. I have always pictured myself working for an environmental cause. By integrating the renewable energy world, I will be able to achieve this; I will contribute on solving global environmental issues by making use of the environment itself. I will be doing something I am passionate about and at the same time be of great use to a world facing a huge energetic crisis.
I am aware that succeeding in a renewable energy master requires a strong scientific and engineering background looking of how diversified the major is. I believe that throughout my whole academic experience I could acquire the needed background. In high school, I was majoring in mathematical science, the branch that has the highest focus on mathematics and physics in Morocco. This allowed me to develop good logical reasoning skills and acquire the fundamentals of scientific knowledge. I obtained my baccalaureate with honors (Very good appreciation); which enabled me to obtain a merit scholarship at AL AKHAWYN University which is a prestigious American university in Morocco.
At AL AKHAWYN, I majored in Engineering and management sciences. It is true that I faced a number of difficulties at the very beginning; I was challenged by the big difference between the Moroccan system and the American one which explains my relatively low grades in my freshman year. Adapting to these changes taught me how to manage my time efficiently, how to pick what is essential and focus on it, and how to better plan solving problems. Besides, the engineering and management major helped me acquire a diversified scientific and engineering background that will help me cope with graduate level requirements. Having taken courses in physics, thermodynamics, statics and dynamics and material sciences will serve as a basis for me to better grasp and handle the renewable energy degree material.
Furthermore, I have already started engaging in the renewable energy field and this throughout my school projects. My capstone project was on how to use desalination coupled with renewable energies to enhance Morocco's water mobilization system. I used software applications to model a desalination station as a function of the water demand in a specific region, I then proposed a set of green desalination alternatives based on the energetic potential of the region, and afterwards, I performed a cost analysis study to identify the most optimal alternative. By working on this project, I became more familiar with solar and wind power systems. I learnt how to globally design a green power system for a specific energetic demand.
I have also worked on the thermo- ionic desalination method for my material sciences project. The thermo-ionic method is one hundred percent powered by solar energy. In this project, I was investigating the role of polystyrene in the functioning of that purely green desalination method.
Those little projects I have been working on helped better visualize my future plans. My ultimate aim is to lead or be part of green desalination projects in Morocco. For my contribution to be fruitful, I need to come up with more optimal green desalination alternatives as to expand the use of desalination in my country. So, after obtaining my masters in renewable energy, I will be seeking a PHD in desalination. Afterwards, I am planning to work a couple of years abroad as to boost my experience in the field before coming back to my country. Once back, I will be ready to engage in big desalination projects that will change Morocco's destiny.
As a 3.7 / 4 graduate, I believe I was able to acquire a good understanding of the material I was exposed to, the material that will help me cope with the graduate degree challenges. My college experience benefits are not only limited to the academic side, I had the privilege to participate in the exchange program so that I spent four months in the United States of America. During my stay, I got the chance to adapt even more to the American culture and spirit which benefited me tremendously. My college experience helped me become the person I am now; responsible, ambitious, passionate, and eager to learn.
Your school's renewable energies program is one of the best worldwide. Your experience in the field will benefit me enormously; I will have the chance to learn about most recent renewable energy techniques. That will definitely put me on the right track to participate actively in the development of this field all over the world. If I get the chance to have the renewable energy master over your school, I will make good use of my background, skills and passion to succeed in graduate school, and better integrate the renewable energy field. I will work hard to be a good representative of your school, because succeeding with brilliance is the only way for me to achieve the goals I set to myself.
This paper sounds good. However, the introduction is quite wordy. "; though due to its energy ..." Instead of using though, the term however is more cohensive. Instead of using semicolons so much, just start a new sentence. Also, exclude putting your scholar achievements in your personal statement. Your resume or CV will displayed that information. Hopefully, I shine a little light on your paper. Good Luck!!