"research and physical therapy seminars" - PTCAS essay

Could someone please read and critique my application essay for physical therapy school? I'm stuck regarding what I can add or omit. Thanks in advance. :)

The question is: "Which personal characteristics and motivating factors have led you to pursue the profession of physical therapy?" The limit is 4500 characters including spaces.

Since childhood I have always enjoyed having an active lifestyle. Never hesitant to participate in my physical education class or spend the weekend riding my bicycle through the park, I feel that a career as a physical therapist would further motivate and allow me to continue living an active lifestyle.

Originally, I had planned to become a dietician due to my interest in physical activity and the desire to know how to maintain my level of fitness through what I feed my body and that knowledge on to others. However, after speaking to a few dieticians and nutritionists during my sophomore year of college, I realized that the career is mostly a desk-job and not as interactive as I had hoped. Later that same year I went to Bascom Palmer Eye Institute and observed a physical therapist that specialized in hands and the upper body. I was intrigued and decided to research the career of physical therapy. The fact that the profession is more hands on and requires collaborating with therapists and patients alike made it easy to switch my curriculum to a pre-physical therapy track.

The following year I volunteered for several months at Doctors Hospital in the outpatient rehabilitation clinic. During my time there I witnessed the mutually trusting relationship between patients and therapists along with the patient's gradual recovery, a humbling reward for both who put forth great effort and enthusiasm. One patient in particular comes to mind. He began his sessions in a wheelchair, clearly in pain and struggling to sit upon the table bed. After working on his leg strength and performing certain exercises, I saw him come in with a walker weeks later. The look on the patient's face was markedly different than when he first started. He looked proud and content at the progress he had achieved, as well as the therapist who helped him get there. The mental and physical healing that takes place is amazing to see and something I want to be a part of.

Specifically, I plan to focus on sports physical therapy to help athletes and other active individuals recuperate from and prevent future injuries by learning about the joints and various movements that pertain to their activity. It is also my goal to emphasize the importance of proper form and discipline in regards to any exercise, including treatment. Lastly I intend to present patients with the most current information that will aid in their recovery through research and physical therapy seminars available to the community.

Originally, I had planned on becoming a dietician, due to my interest in physical activity and the desire to know how to maintain my level of fitness through what I feed my body and to pass that knowledge on to others.

The fact that the profession is more hands on and requires collaborating with therapists and patients alike, made it easy to switch my curriculum to a pre-physical therapy track.

During my time there I witnessed the mutually trusting relationship between patients and therapists along with the patient's gradual recovery, which is a humbling reward for both who put forth great effort and enthusiasm.

He looked proud and content at the progress he had made , as well as the therapist who helped him get there.---Do you mean that the therapist looked proud and content too?

It is also my goal to emphasize the importance of proper form and discipline in regards to any exercise, including treatment .---This sentence doesn't really make sense.

Lastly , I intend to present patients with the most current information that will aid in their...

:)

Thank you :)